Microsoft Support
Created | Updated Mar 8, 2002
When calling Microsoft support, remember these handy names:
Bill Gates
Jim Allchin
Steve Ballmer
Brad Chase
By claiming you are related to them, that they told you your problem was a bug, and that they'll have the techie's job for this if you stuff them around, you are guaranteed to receive better service.
Other top tips:
- Claim the CMOS battery has run out as a direct result of using Windows.
- Ignore techs telling you to clean off the viruses before expecting anything to work; it's a Windows bug.
- Cling to one burning principle: They're Microsoft. They're wrong.
If something the tech says makes perfect sense, argue the point. Do not follow his instructions. Doing so is the first step down the dark path.
- Deny that "Primary HDD controller failure", "RAM is faulty at xxxx" or failure to power-on are hardware problems, find some way of blaming Windows. The technician will like you and respect you for this.
All from my personal experience.
Bill Gates
Jim Allchin
Steve Ballmer
Brad Chase
By claiming you are related to them, that they told you your problem was a bug, and that they'll have the techie's job for this if you stuff them around, you are guaranteed to receive better service.
Other top tips:
- Claim the CMOS battery has run out as a direct result of using Windows.
- Ignore techs telling you to clean off the viruses before expecting anything to work; it's a Windows bug.
- Cling to one burning principle: They're Microsoft. They're wrong.
If something the tech says makes perfect sense, argue the point. Do not follow his instructions. Doing so is the first step down the dark path.
- Deny that "Primary HDD controller failure", "RAM is faulty at xxxx" or failure to power-on are hardware problems, find some way of blaming Windows. The technician will like you and respect you for this.
All from my personal experience.
