Some of these work as one-liners, slams, and as punchlines for jokes. This tells me that Country-Western artists have their tongues firmly planted in their cheeks

• Do You Love As Good As You Look?

• Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goal Posts Of Life

• Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

• Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

• Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

• How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

• I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

• I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

• I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

• I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart

• I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

• I Wanna Whip Your Cow

• I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

• I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

• I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

• I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

• I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

• I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

• If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

• If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

• If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

• If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

• If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

• If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

• Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

• May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose

• My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

• My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

• My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

• Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

• Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

• She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

• She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

• She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty

• Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

• They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out

• Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

• When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

• You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

• ou Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

• You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

• You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

• You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly