”DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT"
They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things that you can do. Well They are wrong, it is the single most stressful thing that even the most stressed of individuals can stress about while having a stressful day in a stressful job while being harassed by a stressed out boss. And this has only just scratched the surface of the problem.
First there is the organising of the transport; on the right day, from the right address, to the right address. I advise understanding relatives with a large van, it can save so much hassle. The next is packing your stuff, this is the single most soul destroying act that I have had the misfortune to experience. Its just like taking your life apart memory by memory, it also points out exactly how long it has been since you hoovered behind the sofa. Just where that half remembered kebab went, and why there was that funny smell in the second bedroom(). And could somebody, anybody, please tell me where that thing in the bottom of the freezer came from?
Then one of the biggest mysteries of the universe makes its self evident, every time you turn your back and walk into another room. Your stuff magically unpacks itself, I must have packed three times more stuff than I actually own. I swear whatever lives under the sink multiplied whenever I wasn’t looking.
Finaly its all in the van and you are on your way to the new dream home. This is when you are flung head on into the next circle of hell. You arrive, the journey was less hassle than you thought and this has cheered you up no end. You look forward to sorting all your new life out, unpacking the memories and installing them permanently into you new pride and joy. You unload, place the boxes in their respective rooms, and open one. In the next few minutes you shall be heard to say one or more of the following:-
“Did I put that in here!”
“Do I have one of these?”
“Why is the wok in with the stereo?”
Finally having sort it all out, well some, I got the computer going (the mouse was in with the hi-fi, easy mistake; but the keyboard was in the suitcase. Don’t ask, how should I know?). I thought I should record the experience, nothing left to do but lay back and relax. Hang on, has anyone seen the cat?!?