>Police Cells - where to stayA guide for the discerning crook.
Created | Updated Mar 15, 2002
One form of publicly available accommodation, rarely reviewed in any tome, are the facilities offered at the local Police Station. The City of Stoke-on-Trent and the surrounding area of North Staffordshire offer a variety of Cell accommodation - here is your (insiders) definitive guide.
Staffordshire Police regularly offer four generous cell blocks in the North of the county.
Hanley - the oldest of the currently used cell blocks, offers the most cells - 10, plus 3 detention rooms (for the younger delinquent). Only 3 cells offer en-suite facilities; the drunk cell (low bench - not as far to fall) and the 2 female cells (modesty prevails). All other cells require the use of the service button to call room service to escort you to the private WC.
Exercise is available, at reasonable request, in a spacious, mesh-topped yard, clear days can give excellent views of aeroplanes passing on their flight path to Manchester Airport.
A choice of interview rooms is provided, with additional private consultation rooms for those partaking of the Free Legal Advice offered.
On first arrival cooperative clients are greeted in a large reception room, able to accommodate two detainees at once. A note to smaller clients is the height of the Custody Officers desk - those under 5'4" will have to request a ladder... Those arriving at busy times may find the cavernous holding room.
Hanley custody suite is unusual in that it is split on two levels, since the introduction of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act in 1984 I am assured that the staircase has only ever been used for walking up and down.
The staff at here aim to please, under difficult circumstances.
Star Rating * - suffers for lack of en-suite. Parts in need of redecoration.
Travellers Tip - avoid busy weekends, clients in neighbouring rooms can get noisy.
Longton - The newest cell block in the North, offering all en-suite facilities in all 8 cells. Two detention rooms are also available.
Local clientele are easily identified by the multifarious scrawlings on the cell doors (inside of course).
A large holding room, with a clear view to the reception area, greets those arriving on busy days.
Exercise facilities are adequate, if oddly shaped - little view is available, except on clear starry nights. Rooms for interview, Intoximeter (for the drinking and driving detainee) and police surgeon create a pleasant environment. Staff, when questioned, stated that this pleasantness evaporated quickly when housing prisoners.
Star Rating ** Good En-suite, some painting required to obliterate "Meir boys are best" from cell doors.
Newcastle-under-Lyme - Recently upgraded from 4 cells to 8, all are now en-suite, though the two detention rooms lack that luxury.
The most pleasing of entrances, new clients are greeted by solid wooden doors, opening into a small lobby and barred gate preventing egress. A brightly lit reception area easily allows for the booking in of two prisoners simultaneously. The layout of the reception, leading to the main cell corridor allows for the escort of unwilling visitors, by Home Office approved methods, to their room with the minimum of fuss.
A small exercise yard is partially covered, giving a small dry area during inclement conditions - a real plus for Newcastle.
It is widely agreed that the staff at Newcastle are amongst the most pleasant, though clients must remember that good behaviour does lead to a nicer stay.
Once again Interview rooms are adequate, though they can get a little hot if sharing with two CID officers, a solicitor, an appropriate adult and an interpreter.
There can be some delays, at busy periods, during the documentation stage, just prior to leaving - a rather cramped fingerprinting room is shared with the photographic facilities.
Star Rating *** - All en-suite with a weather proofed exercise yard. Tip - Wednesdays is cheap beer night in Newcastle town centre, this can lead to a cell block heaving with prisoners (or is that a cell block full of heaving prisoners?)
Star Rating revised now **** the fourth star being a recent visitor from Coronation Street…
Leek - Is an isolated, though newish facility. A smart tidy block, providing accommodation to the detainee unable to travel to the City or, indeed, unable to find a room in the other stations.
Star Rating - has had insufficient guests to be graded to date.
Until quite recently cell accommodation could regularly be found for suspects at the other North Staffordshire Police Stations: Burslem, Kidsgrove and Stoke. The need to provide quality accommodation, 24 hours daily, without impinging on the resources available to locate potential clients, has lead to the mothballing of these cells. Cells at Stoke, however, are especially reserved for fans of Stoke City and visiting supporters, driven into a frenzy of lawlessness by sheer boredom at the nearby football match.
BOOKING DETAILS
NONE REQUIRED- a vacancy will always be found
To Follow (subject to popularity) - Through the Keyhole - Who's Cell Was This? notorious and famous detainees.
Disclaimer:- The above document is written in good faith, by a regular visitor to these cells, as a light-hearted look at the 'other side': it should not be seen as any encouragement to visit the facilities outlined above - a hotel would definitely be better!
Staffordshire Police regularly offer four generous cell blocks in the North of the county.
Hanley - the oldest of the currently used cell blocks, offers the most cells - 10, plus 3 detention rooms (for the younger delinquent). Only 3 cells offer en-suite facilities; the drunk cell (low bench - not as far to fall) and the 2 female cells (modesty prevails). All other cells require the use of the service button to call room service to escort you to the private WC.
Exercise is available, at reasonable request, in a spacious, mesh-topped yard, clear days can give excellent views of aeroplanes passing on their flight path to Manchester Airport.
A choice of interview rooms is provided, with additional private consultation rooms for those partaking of the Free Legal Advice offered.
On first arrival cooperative clients are greeted in a large reception room, able to accommodate two detainees at once. A note to smaller clients is the height of the Custody Officers desk - those under 5'4" will have to request a ladder... Those arriving at busy times may find the cavernous holding room.
Hanley custody suite is unusual in that it is split on two levels, since the introduction of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act in 1984 I am assured that the staircase has only ever been used for walking up and down.
The staff at here aim to please, under difficult circumstances.
Star Rating * - suffers for lack of en-suite. Parts in need of redecoration.
Travellers Tip - avoid busy weekends, clients in neighbouring rooms can get noisy.
Longton - The newest cell block in the North, offering all en-suite facilities in all 8 cells. Two detention rooms are also available.
Local clientele are easily identified by the multifarious scrawlings on the cell doors (inside of course).
A large holding room, with a clear view to the reception area, greets those arriving on busy days.
Exercise facilities are adequate, if oddly shaped - little view is available, except on clear starry nights. Rooms for interview, Intoximeter (for the drinking and driving detainee) and police surgeon create a pleasant environment. Staff, when questioned, stated that this pleasantness evaporated quickly when housing prisoners.
Star Rating ** Good En-suite, some painting required to obliterate "Meir boys are best" from cell doors.
Newcastle-under-Lyme - Recently upgraded from 4 cells to 8, all are now en-suite, though the two detention rooms lack that luxury.
The most pleasing of entrances, new clients are greeted by solid wooden doors, opening into a small lobby and barred gate preventing egress. A brightly lit reception area easily allows for the booking in of two prisoners simultaneously. The layout of the reception, leading to the main cell corridor allows for the escort of unwilling visitors, by Home Office approved methods, to their room with the minimum of fuss.
A small exercise yard is partially covered, giving a small dry area during inclement conditions - a real plus for Newcastle.
It is widely agreed that the staff at Newcastle are amongst the most pleasant, though clients must remember that good behaviour does lead to a nicer stay.
Once again Interview rooms are adequate, though they can get a little hot if sharing with two CID officers, a solicitor, an appropriate adult and an interpreter.
There can be some delays, at busy periods, during the documentation stage, just prior to leaving - a rather cramped fingerprinting room is shared with the photographic facilities.
Star Rating *** - All en-suite with a weather proofed exercise yard. Tip - Wednesdays is cheap beer night in Newcastle town centre, this can lead to a cell block heaving with prisoners (or is that a cell block full of heaving prisoners?)
Star Rating revised now **** the fourth star being a recent visitor from Coronation Street…
Leek - Is an isolated, though newish facility. A smart tidy block, providing accommodation to the detainee unable to travel to the City or, indeed, unable to find a room in the other stations.
Star Rating - has had insufficient guests to be graded to date.
Until quite recently cell accommodation could regularly be found for suspects at the other North Staffordshire Police Stations: Burslem, Kidsgrove and Stoke. The need to provide quality accommodation, 24 hours daily, without impinging on the resources available to locate potential clients, has lead to the mothballing of these cells. Cells at Stoke, however, are especially reserved for fans of Stoke City and visiting supporters, driven into a frenzy of lawlessness by sheer boredom at the nearby football match.
BOOKING DETAILS
NONE REQUIRED- a vacancy will always be found
To Follow (subject to popularity) - Through the Keyhole - Who's Cell Was This? notorious and famous detainees.
Disclaimer:- The above document is written in good faith, by a regular visitor to these cells, as a light-hearted look at the 'other side': it should not be seen as any encouragement to visit the facilities outlined above - a hotel would definitely be better!
