Sunday
Created | Updated Mar 16, 2002
There was a time when Sunday, especially the afternoon was considered a test of character, much has been written about the effects of Sundays on the human psyche, resulting psychopathic behaviour and the general negative impact on society. The researchers were able to accurately identify Sundays as the cause of so many problems, but always seem to end with the question "but why Sunday? I mean there is loads to do, even the shops are open these days" After much research at great personal risk and expense I can announce the answer "Sunday drivers". The phenomenon of the Sunday driver has been know at a sub conscious level since the invention of the motor car (cf "global environmental destruction", "more dangerous than flying?"), but the Sunday driver phenomenon had always been considered to be a symptom of Sundays rather than a cause. The Sunday driver has two distinct sub-classes; each identified by the type of vehicle driven. The primary sub-class drives an ancient car at the limits of their own and their car's performance, usually 30 mph, but dropping to 20 mph on a straight section of road with good visibility if there is any oncoming traffic preventing over taking. The second sub-class is more difficult to identify, as the vehicle appears to be just a few years old and well maintained. The driving characteristics are identical to those of the first sub group, with the addition that on straight stretches of road, with good visibility and good visibility speeds will increase to 60 mph to prevent any overtaking. Funds earmarked for research into the cause and prevention of Sunday drivers have been diverted to answer the important questions like "why do tea pot spouts dribble" and "how long can you dunk a biscuit in your cup of coffee before it breaks".
