Sources in the CIA revealed yesterday a huge plot to simultaneously set fire to airplanes throughout the world.

"The plot was ingenious" a source revealed. "The incendiary devices were concealed as batteries in laptop computers. At a random signal - POOF - the laptops would explode". Alarmingly, it is believed that the plot was masterminded by a covert and well funded network that has infiltrated itself into offices and homes throughout the world. The network, believed to originate from a secure base in Texas uses the internet extensively to promote its ideology and to send items in the mail almost anywhere in the world. It has a large number of converts, some of whom occupy positions of power in major world corporations.

US Customs have indicated that a large number of operatives were arrested in airports yesterday trying to carry the devices on board. "They all pleaded innocence, but this is apparently a standard excuse. Twenty years in the slammer should teach them", one police source has revealed. Due to the huge number of people involved however, prison ships are being considered as a means of holding them temporarily.

Police are mystified as to why such a significant, and seemingly disparate group of people would be driven to such extremes. Preliminary investigations have revealed some clues, however. A high proportion of them were caught with a handheld device known as a "Blackberry" with almost all of them showing signs of advanced addiction to these devices. "We need to figure out the motivation - why seemingly normal people with good homes and families decend into highly vulnerable email addicts over such a short period of time", says Matt Fry, an lecturer in the psychology of terrorism.

Intending plane travellers are urged to leave all laptops at home, take no liquids or gels on-board, remove their shoes, cut their fingernails, eat 3 meals a day, and improve their bodily hygiene. This directive is effective immediately.

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