Work. A survival guide.
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
Work, much like war, is hell. I feel its my duty to give a survival guide to any such experience. As with any other survival guides (worth the paper they're not printed on) we will start with a list of supplies you should have.
A beverage. I suggest one that is ether caffinated, or alcoholic.
A compass. . . or protractor.
Two kg of plummers putty.
A package of red M&M's
A sledge hammer
A bulldozer and/or backhoe
Six white kittens
2 mg of consentrated vitamine C
A roll of Duct Tape
A lighter
One can of gasoline.
The following is for evertainment value only, DO NOT try in real life. I recomend you simply imagine this scenario the next time you reach a dull part of you day.
Take the 6 kittens and duct tape them together by the tail and securely fasten one of them to a large flat surface (like the floor) with the plummers putty
Next, spread the gasoline evenly over the seat of the bulldozer. Use the sledge hammer to wedge the accelerator pedal down, and light the gasoline with the lighter (I recomend pointing the bulldozer away from the kittens).
Now sit back and enjoy what happens. The beverage and the M&M's are for pure enjoyments sake. The vitamine C is for you also (health first!).
The compass is for later. When your boss shows up and asks why there are kittens fighting on the floor, and why one wall has been knocked down by a bulldozer it makes a hand weapon.
A beverage. I suggest one that is ether caffinated, or alcoholic.
A compass. . . or protractor.
Two kg of plummers putty.
A package of red M&M's
A sledge hammer
A bulldozer and/or backhoe
Six white kittens
2 mg of consentrated vitamine C
A roll of Duct Tape
A lighter
One can of gasoline.
The following is for evertainment value only, DO NOT try in real life. I recomend you simply imagine this scenario the next time you reach a dull part of you day.
Take the 6 kittens and duct tape them together by the tail and securely fasten one of them to a large flat surface (like the floor) with the plummers putty
Next, spread the gasoline evenly over the seat of the bulldozer. Use the sledge hammer to wedge the accelerator pedal down, and light the gasoline with the lighter (I recomend pointing the bulldozer away from the kittens).
Now sit back and enjoy what happens. The beverage and the M&M's are for pure enjoyments sake. The vitamine C is for you also (health first!).
The compass is for later. When your boss shows up and asks why there are kittens fighting on the floor, and why one wall has been knocked down by a bulldozer it makes a hand weapon.
