Doner Kebabs
Created | Updated Mar 21, 2002
I must first say that i am slightly biased in writing this as I have a love of doner Kebabs that has grown as I have progressed throughout my adult life. But I digress....
Doner Kebabs are the the anti-diet food. They are the nectar of Satan and as such they should be celebrated in all their greasy glory. They seem to be a predominantly male food, perhaps because only us blokes have a lack of self-respect required to consume such a food. Most people have their first experience with a Kebab at the same time as they experience drinking in pubs on Friday nights. Beer seems to contain a strange additive that requires an intake of strange food as soon as you finish drinking. In the past fish and chips sufficed, or on special occasions a late night curry, but in the convienience age of the 90's we have the Kebab shop. The shops themselves are always unreasonably brightly lit, and always have a glass fronted counter displaying the varieties of meat on offer. However the Doner Kebab is found rotating like a huge elephants leg in a corner of the serving area. On ordering a Doner, the 'chef' will invariably use a minature chainshaw to remove strips of meat from the leg, and they thrust the grease-dripping shavings into a waiting pitta bread. Salad is an optional but unnecessary extra, but chilli sauce is a must. Usually hot enough to light your socks whilst still in your shoes, the sauce serves to speed up the eating of the Kebab. The Kebab once eaten has been found to be a fool-proof cure for hangovers and may well be the key to immortality.
Doner Kebabs are the the anti-diet food. They are the nectar of Satan and as such they should be celebrated in all their greasy glory. They seem to be a predominantly male food, perhaps because only us blokes have a lack of self-respect required to consume such a food. Most people have their first experience with a Kebab at the same time as they experience drinking in pubs on Friday nights. Beer seems to contain a strange additive that requires an intake of strange food as soon as you finish drinking. In the past fish and chips sufficed, or on special occasions a late night curry, but in the convienience age of the 90's we have the Kebab shop. The shops themselves are always unreasonably brightly lit, and always have a glass fronted counter displaying the varieties of meat on offer. However the Doner Kebab is found rotating like a huge elephants leg in a corner of the serving area. On ordering a Doner, the 'chef' will invariably use a minature chainshaw to remove strips of meat from the leg, and they thrust the grease-dripping shavings into a waiting pitta bread. Salad is an optional but unnecessary extra, but chilli sauce is a must. Usually hot enough to light your socks whilst still in your shoes, the sauce serves to speed up the eating of the Kebab. The Kebab once eaten has been found to be a fool-proof cure for hangovers and may well be the key to immortality.
