Mating and Dating in the Modern World
Created | Updated Mar 22, 2002
What is it with humans and their want for what they dont have. A friend of mine has a georgous girlfriend. Yet constantly his eyes are wandering. I know this as I was called to the pound after they were captured wandering in Parramatta.
Could it be that we are constantly unhappy with our mates, our partners, our copulation companions. I think we poor excuse for bipeds need to examine nature around us before we treat our own companions so harshly.
Look at the life of the praying mantis. Bill, the mantis was hanging out with his buddy's down at the local watering hole when he spotted the most georgeous woman he had ever seen. She had 4 nice long legs and the best set of pincers you had ever seen. She spotted him eyeing her (if you have ever seen a matis' eyes, you'll know how she didn't miss it) and walked on over. After using all the pickup lines he knew, Bill finally convinced Sue to go on a date. It was decided...her place for dinner, and a quickie as well. Bill was stoked. As the big night appoached, he dressed in his best hawaian shirt and headed up to her front door. She was randier than he thought..and jumped him right there on the doorstep. After 20 minutes of passionate lovemaking, it was time for dinner. As he put his shirt back on..she reached round and stabbed him. ... Such is the life of the mating game in Mantis society. Now you know why they are all single.
And how about the love life of the humpback whale. Simple in comparrison, but just as cruel. They mate ... she carries her young in her womb from one side of the atlantic to the other. The husband is always there..helping her along...making sure she has enough fluids....just basically beeing the wonderous man that all males in their species are. After months of waiting, the birth takes place and all is fine. Thats untill Dad decides on a trip to the beach. There is something with dads and beaches that unviversally makes most family's run scared.
And last of all the scary couples is the middle aged human couple. These are people who have now been doing "it" for many years and yet still enjoy the activity. But in their now tamer years, "ohh baby"...and "do it to me, yes!" has now been replaced with "did you drop the kids at school" and "did you know the roof needs a paint".
I dont know wich species is scarier, but if you ask me..Im staying single
Could it be that we are constantly unhappy with our mates, our partners, our copulation companions. I think we poor excuse for bipeds need to examine nature around us before we treat our own companions so harshly.
Look at the life of the praying mantis. Bill, the mantis was hanging out with his buddy's down at the local watering hole when he spotted the most georgeous woman he had ever seen. She had 4 nice long legs and the best set of pincers you had ever seen. She spotted him eyeing her (if you have ever seen a matis' eyes, you'll know how she didn't miss it) and walked on over. After using all the pickup lines he knew, Bill finally convinced Sue to go on a date. It was decided...her place for dinner, and a quickie as well. Bill was stoked. As the big night appoached, he dressed in his best hawaian shirt and headed up to her front door. She was randier than he thought..and jumped him right there on the doorstep. After 20 minutes of passionate lovemaking, it was time for dinner. As he put his shirt back on..she reached round and stabbed him. ... Such is the life of the mating game in Mantis society. Now you know why they are all single.
And how about the love life of the humpback whale. Simple in comparrison, but just as cruel. They mate ... she carries her young in her womb from one side of the atlantic to the other. The husband is always there..helping her along...making sure she has enough fluids....just basically beeing the wonderous man that all males in their species are. After months of waiting, the birth takes place and all is fine. Thats untill Dad decides on a trip to the beach. There is something with dads and beaches that unviversally makes most family's run scared.
And last of all the scary couples is the middle aged human couple. These are people who have now been doing "it" for many years and yet still enjoy the activity. But in their now tamer years, "ohh baby"...and "do it to me, yes!" has now been replaced with "did you drop the kids at school" and "did you know the roof needs a paint".
I dont know wich species is scarier, but if you ask me..Im staying single
