New Message Board features
Created | Updated Sep 17, 2003
Coming to Your BBC Message Board Next Month
In line with the BBC’s commitment to its interactive online services, BBCi are pleased to announce the following new Message Boards features, due to come into operation next month:
* Thread Buddies
Do you want to start a new thread, but are worried that no-one will reply to it? Banish ‘0 responses’ blues by signing up as a Thread Buddy. If you agree to respond to 5 or more unpopular threads each month, then we can guarantee that at least 5 Thread Buddies will reply to yours.
* MB Donuts
Is somebody getting at you but still managing to stay on the right side of the rules? Then just hit the MB Donut button and the boards will automatically rearrange themselves so as to put at least 6 postings between you and your tormenter.
* Random Numbering Days
One day each month, all postings will give a randomly-generated posting number between 1 and 9999 (new software is being designed for the BBC's hardcore 10k+ posters). The number will then serve as the baseline for all other postings during that month.
* Staggered Server Sessions
From next month, all servers will operate on different time streams. None will be operating in real time – some will be seconds behind GMT and others minutes and hours. This will create a random patchwork posting environment allowing researchers to map chaos models of alternative realities, as posters see and respond to up to 20 different versions of the boards.
* Troll Alerts
A new sub-screen will identify where a mischievous/flouncing/aggrieved poster is posting under a different name, aiding in the identification of Trolls, Sock Puppets and wind-up merchants generally.
* Spatguards
Can you see two posters engaged in a slow motion car crash? Hit the Spatguard button and both will be thrown off the boards for 2 hours, at the end of which each will see a message appearing to come from the other saying ‘the boards are b**dy awful tonight, D’ye fancy a drink?’ - Giving people a shared enemy in the form of the BBC should help reduce tension levels.
* Automated Spoiler Highlighting
This new software will identify any spoiler content in a posting, and automatically embolden and underline it, and move it into the relevant Discussions List text box.
* The Sacrificial Offering
Every month to two months, a controversial posting from a newbie poster will receive a resounding slapping down from The Host, following which regular posters will have the opportunity to gloat/dwell upon the target’s showing up. The newbie poster will, of course, be a computer-generated Cyber troll, designed to create a sense of community, and continuing respect for BBCi’s much-beloved MB hosts.
* The Spat/Flounce Archive
All really good spats and flounces will be recorded by Martin Jarvis (using his Violet Elizabeth Bott voice) and archived. Posters can re-visit them using the Listen Again facility.
* Duplication Vortex Algorithm
The DLA can extract up all the "I think it's X", "no I think it's Y" and "have you considered in might be Z"-type postings in various different threads and combine them into the single thread they should have been in the first place.
* Echo Chamber
The Echo Chamber will randomly select posts, change them slightly and then re-post them as non-sequitur replies in a half-dozen different threads.
In line with the BBC’s commitment to its interactive online services, BBCi are pleased to announce the following new Message Boards features, due to come into operation next month:
* Thread Buddies
Do you want to start a new thread, but are worried that no-one will reply to it? Banish ‘0 responses’ blues by signing up as a Thread Buddy. If you agree to respond to 5 or more unpopular threads each month, then we can guarantee that at least 5 Thread Buddies will reply to yours.
* MB Donuts
Is somebody getting at you but still managing to stay on the right side of the rules? Then just hit the MB Donut button and the boards will automatically rearrange themselves so as to put at least 6 postings between you and your tormenter.
* Random Numbering Days
One day each month, all postings will give a randomly-generated posting number between 1 and 9999 (new software is being designed for the BBC's hardcore 10k+ posters). The number will then serve as the baseline for all other postings during that month.
* Staggered Server Sessions
From next month, all servers will operate on different time streams. None will be operating in real time – some will be seconds behind GMT and others minutes and hours. This will create a random patchwork posting environment allowing researchers to map chaos models of alternative realities, as posters see and respond to up to 20 different versions of the boards.
* Troll Alerts
A new sub-screen will identify where a mischievous/flouncing/aggrieved poster is posting under a different name, aiding in the identification of Trolls, Sock Puppets and wind-up merchants generally.
* Spatguards
Can you see two posters engaged in a slow motion car crash? Hit the Spatguard button and both will be thrown off the boards for 2 hours, at the end of which each will see a message appearing to come from the other saying ‘the boards are b**dy awful tonight, D’ye fancy a drink?’ - Giving people a shared enemy in the form of the BBC should help reduce tension levels.
* Automated Spoiler Highlighting
This new software will identify any spoiler content in a posting, and automatically embolden and underline it, and move it into the relevant Discussions List text box.
* The Sacrificial Offering
Every month to two months, a controversial posting from a newbie poster will receive a resounding slapping down from The Host, following which regular posters will have the opportunity to gloat/dwell upon the target’s showing up. The newbie poster will, of course, be a computer-generated Cyber troll, designed to create a sense of community, and continuing respect for BBCi’s much-beloved MB hosts.
* The Spat/Flounce Archive
All really good spats and flounces will be recorded by Martin Jarvis (using his Violet Elizabeth Bott voice) and archived. Posters can re-visit them using the Listen Again facility.
* Duplication Vortex Algorithm
The DLA can extract up all the "I think it's X", "no I think it's Y" and "have you considered in might be Z"-type postings in various different threads and combine them into the single thread they should have been in the first place.
* Echo Chamber
The Echo Chamber will randomly select posts, change them slightly and then re-post them as non-sequitur replies in a half-dozen different threads.
