h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Alexander James Jude Lynn, 7th - 20th September 1998 - A127261
Author: Bernadette Lynn (visit A756425) - U15459


This heartbreaking piece of work had me in tears, all the more so because it is true. What sets this apart is the way that it has been written. It is clear and factual and despite it's nature, there is no feeling of self-pity, only sadness. It's a lovely tribute to little Alexander.

The only question I have is whether the correct place is in "Peer Review" or the "Aleternative Writing Workshop". Please advise...

Bambi.

This is a really personal account of the Lynn family. Did you ask either the mother or father if they want it in the Edited Guide?

Jim is at U6 and Bernadette is at U15459.

Bernadette hasn't posted on-site in about a month, but I think asking her opinion before simply sending it to PR would have been more sensative than having her just receive the automated message.

Just my 2p.

Of course it's well written and touching. I'm just a bit concerned that no contact was made with the family before submitting it here...

Sorry, didn't think about it like that, but I thought if someone was prepared to write something like this and put it somewhere as public as h2g2, then I thought they would want it read...

Bambi

Jimi - like it or not (and I have reservations about it) the system here is for authors to opt out of review if they wish. Of course nobody would wish to intrude upon a private tragedy, but the fact that this is in the Guide at all suggests willingness to share with the community. I know Jim has been onsite and the entry could have been removed if that is what they wanted.

I can't speak for Bernadette (yet) but I've no particular objections.

Should it be in Peer Review? Let's see:

1. Write About Reality

Much as we both wish otherwise, this is reality.

2. Be Original

Check.

3. Fill in the Gaps

There isn't currently a biography of Alexander in the Guide, so I suppose that's a gap.

4. Be Instructive, Informative and Factual

As a detailed account of having a very premature baby, I feel it's valuable and informative. The reason for putting it on h2g2 is so that other people in the same situation might find it and realise they're not alone.

5. Don't Try too Hard to be Funny

I made Bernadette take out all the knock-knock jokes before she published it.

6. Write in Your Own Style

Check.

7. Write About What You Know

Check.

8. Research Your Entry Thoroughly

It was taken from her diaries, so the information is as accurate as we had.

9. Try to be Well-balanced

It's not an opinion piece, so no problem there, I think.

10. Plan Your Entry

The structure falls out of the event.

"11. It Almost Goes Without Saying, But...

... we're going to say it anyway. Please use correct spelling and grammar"

Bernadette's pretty good at that.

12. Do Not Copy From Other Sources

Not a problem.

13. Write in the Third Person

OK, here it falls down. The diary doesn't work unless it's told in the first person. So this is definitely a conflict. But there are precedents. 'Diabetes - a Personal Perspective' (A75683) is an example.

So, that's only one rule out of thirteen it fails on.

Now, here's a reason I'm nervous that this is in PR: Who's going to criticise it? Who's going to tell the mother of a dead baby that her diary of his life isn't good enough? Or correct the spelling, or suggest changes?

That being said, I think, with a tiny bit of context, like an introduction explaining that the article is a diary, and adding some resources for other parents in this situation, I think it would have a place in the edited guide. I'm always happy for more people to hear about Alexander. Also, very shortly after he died, I made the decision to change jobs, and started working at 'The Digital Village', where I ended up designing h2g2. So in a very true sense, if Alexander had lived, or hadn't been born so premature, I might not have made the move, and h2g2 would be enormously different.

And it's the anniversary of his death today.

Jim, the only problem I can see with this being in PR is that if, one day, god forbid, you leave the BBC, you'll no longer have any control over this piece once its been edited. As the subject is so personal do you and Bernadette want to give up that control?

As to the subject matter - I can't really give an objective opinion on it, I've a son who's about 2 months older than Alexander would have been - I've read this piece three or four times since I joined this site and it leaves me near tears every time.

for Alexander
for both of you

whisky

"The diary doesn't work unless it's told in the first person"

Actually I think it could work very well in the third person. I'm not suggesting you _need_ to do that, but it could well be more telling if written that way.

It's heart-breaking either way.

Bels

"if, one day, god forbid, you leave the BBC, you'll no longer have any control over this piece once its been edited. As the subject is so personal do you and Bernadette want to give up that control?"

We gave up rights to it as soon as it was put on site, so whether I'm working at the BBC or not, they can do whatever they want with it. We can still publish it elsewhere, so I don't see that there would ever be a problem.

The diary is an almost unedited copy of the diary I kept at the time. I felt it was very important to write down everything as it happened so that we wouldn't lose anything. The only changes I made in copying it into the Guide were to remove a name and to replace the 'Monday 7th...' with 'Day 1...'

It is not only a personal account, but an immediate one. I feel that editing would change the nature of the diary; any badly phrased sentences or confusing statements are a direct result of the experience and reflect the way I felt at the time.

I would prefer the text to stand as it is, but I wouldn't mind adding footnotes if anyone feels that anything needs to be clarified.

Hi Bernadette, Jim. This is obviously a very hard piece of writing to have written - and it is also difficult to read. However, I admire your decision to share your story with us and can have nothing but respect for what you have done.

I would like to assure you that, in picking this Entry, as I would like to do, I have read through it and considered it with the same level of attention as I would any other. I think that an introductory paragraph or two would be very helpful - just to explain the Entry. However, I feel that this could be done with all due care and attention by a Sub-Editor if you do not wish to do so.

If you do choose to go through with editing this, I would like to offer to both pick and Sub the piece in consultation with you if you feel it appropriate. I am not, and will not, make a special case for this Entry, but rather feel that a sensitive and emotional subject like this one should be treated with the respect that it deserves.

No pressure, or anything. Let me know if you're happy for this to happen and I will make whatever arrangements you consider necessary.

Whoami?

I think I'd like some suggestions for an introductory paragraph. Just to see what people think would work in this context. I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but something might spring to mind later. I think it would be nice to see it leaving Peer Review with a clear idea of any changes that might be made.

I'd reckon on a simple introduction along the lines of:

'This is the story of the life Alexander James Jude Lynn, told from the perspective of his mother, Bernadette Lynn. It charts the emotions and thoughts that dominated Bernadette's mind through a very difficult time. Readers should be aware that the diary contains some distressing images.'

Nothing more complicated or elaborate than that - it ought not to detract from the diary itself. Of course, it's not my decision as it's Bernadette's Entry, and anyone could suggest something else.

Any other edits would be purely sp, and formatting - no actual textual editing if possible, as Bernadette requested. It's a well-written and informative piece of writing.

Whoami?

I think this is the best place to write:

I need to commet:
I do not know how I came across the story of three people at such a trumatic time in their lives. I read it in tears, feling cold all over. Beginning to understand someting of my mother.

Peer Review bit:
With the family's consent, If h2g2 cannot find a place in the editid guide for such a powerful example of life, the guide will be a lesser place.


My thoughts and love to all

Despite Lightman's words, it is disappointing to find that this Entry remains in PR.

In the first instance, I believe that Jim and Bernadette Lynn have given their consent for it to be reviewed and put in The Edited Guide. Thence, I believe that during the PR process there has been wholehearted support from researchers for its inclusion, and quite rightly so.

Thus, I request that the Scouts please do the right thing and recommend it.

I think people are waiting for Bernadette or I to write an introduction, which we haven't yet done...

I've added an introduction: I don't think it's perfect because I found it really difficult to put into words what I wanted to say, but it's roughly what I think the entry needs.

I hope it's enough.

I think the introduction is fine.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not sure what to say, except how moving your account is. I'm at work and had to read it in sections otherwise my emotions were planning to get the better of me.

Love to you both.

Kevin.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Bernadette, Jim,

I don't quite know what to say at this moment, congratulations don't really seem in order in this case. However, I'd just like to add one thing...

Thank you for sharing this with us.