Spork: A Man and a Legend
Created | Updated Mar 23, 2002
On a distant planet, oh, about three centuries ago, there was a little creature who answered to the name of Spork. On that planet, which was probably called Spramp or something like that, the inhabitants had no hands or feet. All day long they sort of stumped around, calling each other "Stumpy" and complaining that they couldn't do anything. So one day Spork was out for his morning stump when he was tragically hit by a falling piano. (A Sprampian piano is vastly different than pianos as we know them; since Sprampians have no hands or feet the pianos must be played with the genitals.) Spork was not killed by the piano, but since no one had hands or feet he was trapped there until he died of rabbit bite three weeks later. This story has nothing at all to do with the great utensil we all know and love. Is it a fork or a spoon? Golly, I don't know! God bless you, Taco Bell! Bless you each and every one!
