h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Special thanks are due to vegiman. Without whose inspiration this would not have happened.

Nice one JTG

I will put a link to this page on my articale.
vegiman

Wooops ARTICLE never looked so strange
vegiman

Hee hee I just read it and I LOVE the last little bit

I remember a few more things the news told us, in the panic that was... "The Approach of the Bees"-

They are slightly smaller than normal honeybees- you can't see this difference, but it causes (somehow) their "buzz" to be higher- pitched. Not that anyone would notice, but it's a fact, nonetheless . Also, stings aren't fatal (unless alergic) until the sting count reaches about 50- this is for the "average" male. Obviously people smaller or whose systems are weaker are more susceptible. They are usually found in hot, dry areas (which is why they fancy Texas, Arizona, SoCal). That's all I remember so far...

Well, I've read your article on the bees J-T-G, and it is fabulous. I wish I could make myself write informative and interesting articles, instead of writing about silly games we played in college. Not that there isn't a place for that sort of thing, but your stuff comes off sounding much more intelligent.....

Between the Killer Bees, the Killer Cockroaches, and The Crazy Cowboys Who Wear Large Hats And Spurs, I'm going to have to move out of Texas, and go somewhere safe, like Denver (Shameless Self-Promotion......)

Hi Fenchurch. Thanks for the Info... BeeFacts (that's better!). The higher pitched buzzzing would coincidently make them sound angrier than a regular bee, don't you think?

Thanks Frink. My trick to sounding clever - to the extent that I manage to - is to pretend I'm a BBC newsman.

RE: shameless... no such thing, anymore. I'll pop over in a bit.

Have you read the South Texas stuff by Pinkhoody (I think. Might have the name a bit wrong). She's written some good stuff.

JTG: I do believe that's why they have altered their eating habits so they are slightly smaller as such. (that may not look grammatically correct, but read it out loud and do the BBC thing... )

Frink & JTG: It is Pinkhoody, I went to her site, but the article isn't actually an article, and isn't submited...it isn't even on a page, which is a shame. It's just a forum entry on those killer birdroaches under the cockroaches entry... I didn't see any when I was in El Paso, but that's the only place I went, and I was only there for a few hours... Speaking of which, Texas also has huge ants, doesn't it? I had never seen them until I went there and down into Mexico, they're these big brownish reddish ones that are at least a centimeter long... or was I just unknowingly treated with a mild hallucinogenic that day?

Sounds good in "Beeb", Fenchurch. (Wisest fool was beeb folk). I think those types that do that... triathlon and Ironperson stuff are doing the same thing as the bees. All you have to do is look at them to see that they aren't in it for fun. They scare me more than killer bees.

I don't think Pinkhoody is around any more (she's a bit scary too, between you and me). A shame. I liked her writing. Did you find the "Carl's Corners" one?

Texas seems like a place of extremes (mental image based largely on "King of the hill" episodes and westerns). I really would like to see the US southewest. I worked with a fella once - long time ago - who drove all over the place (when ordinary people could afford to do that), and had adventures in th SW and Mexico.

Me an' me missus are going to visit Louisville, Kentucky and southern Indiana next month. That will be fun.

I've driven through Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas quite a bit, but never really had the opportunity to stop and see as they were family trips from somewhat long ago and I didn't have much say in the matter...so all I got to see were the rest stops and the little cafes, and might I say, the cafe people in small, 5-person towns named "Zyzzyx" (I'm not kidding, that was a town) and the like are very nice people.

Kentucky sounds interesting, I hear they've got good chicken. But really, I wish you the best on your trip, and if you feel compelled to write about the killer insects there when you get back I assure you you'll have devoted readers

Thanks. I think there is a cry arising for an opus on "Zyzzyx".

You're right about the folks you meet in these little places. We've met some lovely people in tiny New England towns. I often think fondly (In fact, now that I think of it, I've written fondly about it somewhere) of a little restaurant, we stopped at for breakfast, in Maine. It was decorated from wall to wall, from floor to ceiling with bunting and pictures of Presidents, for Independance Day. Very friendly people. On the same trip we called at a hamlet called, believe it or not, Lower Economy, Nova Scotia (The mental image you have is probably pretty accurate).

We're looking forward to the trip to Kentucky and Indiana. It's a two-part pilgrimage, of sorts: My wife wants to see Churchill Downs, home of the Kentucky Derby; and we both want to see the his Holiness the Dalai Lama of Tibet, who is speaking at Indiana U. He is doing an initiation ceremony, too; part of which involves the construction of a sand mandala, a spiritual map of the cosmos in coloured sand. Unfortunately we are unable to stay long enough to see the finished mandala.

As for bugs: I think I'll leave creepy-crawlies alone for a while. It's getting hard to sleep at night.

I've only been in south Texas a year, but it seems like the people I've met who have fit the "texas" stereotype have been from north or west texas.

Ah, people who have arrived with the stereotype in mind, do you think?

There is an ex-pat phenomenon you see a lot in Canada, where people from other places (now resident in Canada) play up there ethnic peculiarities to a rediculous extreme. They would embarass the hell out of any visit from their homeland.

"visitor".Sorry.

Does that ex-pat behaviour witnessed in you from time to time? Is this a secret cry for help?

I visited a breakfast spot in Ontario, CA on my way to a renn faire a few months ago that prided itself in the fact that Reagan went and visited, they have one wall covered in pictures of his visit, signatures, momentos, things he said, etc. Another wall just covered in thank you notes from people passing through for letting them use the phone, or just saying the service was nice, etc. I actually stood there and read all of them, which put me an hour late to the faire but it was so refreshing...

As Frink has shamelessly self-promoted so much that now it's habit for me to do so as well, Ode to Mexico City is as complete as it can be right now, and Ode to Zyzzyx is coming along nicely, I describe it's nothingness well, I think.

Ooo... I'll be over for a read.

Where abouts in Ontario? Do you recall?

A restaurant decorated with pictures of Reagan, no offense, would be a good place to start a diet.

None taken , it was just wierd to see a tiny little place like that, they were so proud of it...

Ontario is a pretty small place, I put the "CA" to show it was in California, but I guess that "CA" could stand for that big one in Canada too, huh? It was the one in California, and the place was called the Route 66 or something like that... It's the first thing you see after getting off the north 15, the only thing you see, if I remember correctly...

Ah... silly me. RR was govenor of Ca. as well as President (not at the same time, obviously) - and a movie star - so that makes more sense (as if I'm any judge of that). I thought it a bit too peculiar for our Ontario. That does sound a bit Spanish now. See how impressionable I am?

Do you remember the old "Lone Ranger" TV series? Tonto used to refer to Lone Ranger as "kimosabi", or something like that. Anyway, someone told me once that both things mean "stupid".

Tonto a.k.a Jay Silverheels (stagename) lived near here, on the Six Nations Reserve. I saw him once, when I was a kid, eating at the Holiday Inn, where I worked.

... and bees (just to stay on topic).

I never watched it... but I know someone who always says "It wasn't me, kimosabi" when he gets blamed for something... I guess that's where it comes from. I've heard "tonto" used for stupid a lot, but not "kimosabi"...