War- the OTHER different view.
Created | Updated Mar 24, 2002
War: A short, manical rant by a deranged net surfer. Many people have told me that I have a warped way of looking at life. According to them, I see things differently to other people. For example, whereas normal people see a can of Pepsi as a drink, I see it as a way to contribute 45 pence more to the wallets of those who control the huge soft drinks mafia. (And anyway, Pepsi sucks, drink Coke, this is not an advert). And one thing many people have commented on is my strange view of war.
"What exactly is a war?"
Well, my answer to the above question is NOT the usual one (resorting to military action when diplomacy has failed). My answer is this.
"A war is what happens when two diplomats realise what a big waste of time this is, and so decide to send loads of armed muscle-men out to waste time, firing off guns and getting slaughtered in that bizarre way that keeps soldiers happy. "
And why is it that soldiers like fighting? Is it the honour? Is it the glory? Is it the possibility of being played by Tom Cruise? Or is it, as I tend to think, that it beats staying at home, being nagged by the missus to put up the shelves and feed the chickens? (At this point, I break from my rantings to apologise to my girlfriend, if she is reading this. I have nothing against chickens. I think they are probably a lot more intelligent than people think.)
"What exactly is a war?"
Well, my answer to the above question is NOT the usual one (resorting to military action when diplomacy has failed). My answer is this.
"A war is what happens when two diplomats realise what a big waste of time this is, and so decide to send loads of armed muscle-men out to waste time, firing off guns and getting slaughtered in that bizarre way that keeps soldiers happy. "
And why is it that soldiers like fighting? Is it the honour? Is it the glory? Is it the possibility of being played by Tom Cruise? Or is it, as I tend to think, that it beats staying at home, being nagged by the missus to put up the shelves and feed the chickens? (At this point, I break from my rantings to apologise to my girlfriend, if she is reading this. I have nothing against chickens. I think they are probably a lot more intelligent than people think.)
