Let The Blood Run Free; or I Guess Those Aussies Did Learn Something From All Those Episodes Of The Goodies We Sent Them
Created | Updated Sep 3, 2003
Oh, Eciffo Nimda!!
I love you - and you shall be mine!
Does this sound familiar? If you're Australian, or an insomniac (or both, why not?) then you've probably stumbled across the joy that is Let The Blood Run Free already. Over here in the UK, its rare appearances tend to be hidden away in the wee small hours, but it is definitely worth setting the video for. It’s a half hour Aussie comedy/soap opera set in St Christophers hospital, but don't let that put you off - characters only go to the hospital so they have a chance to plot, marry, kill, scheme, impregnate, vie for power and find long lost relatives with each other.
To say that Let The Blood Run Free is manic is a bit like saying the ocean is known for it's dampness - in the first episode, there's a murder, a suicide attempt, one character falls in love, another in lust, the walls of the hospital are scaled, a cat gets adopted as hospital mascot and there's an axe murderer on the loose. But it is the energy of the series that makes it so enjoyable - the plot hurtles around so quickly that if you miss one episode, in the next you're likely to find that at least one character has got married, another has joined a religious order and someone has either recovered from or contracted a terminal illness. However this manic fever all stems from the show's origin as a piece of improvised comedy theatre, so first a little background material.
The original six members of the cast set up an improvisional comedy troupe called The Blood Group. They created a long running stage show, also named LTBRF, which rattled along at deathtrap speeds to smooth over the cheapness of the sets and the odd duff gag, and in which the audience decided how the story evolved. When the show was eventually moved to TV in the early 90's, they kept this element of audience participation by ending each episode on a cliffhanger and asking the viewers to choose which of the two potential outcomes they preferred. Given some of the more bizarre plot twists this series takes, I would have loved to know what some of the non-selected options were. But just who are the fine, upstanding members of staff at St Christophers?
Dr Ray Good - played by Brian Nankervis. A man of his time, and that time seems to be the mid-70's. He wears flares unironically, loves the band Air Support and passionately believes that being a doctor is the finest and most noble task a man could hope to undertake. Would do anything for his patients, and so the less caring members of staff (which is almost everyone) often dump their workloads on him. But can anyone be that Good without a little Bad in their soul?
Nurse Pam Sandwich - played by Jean Kitson. Pam comes to St Christophers as the first episode begins, and so it is through her eyes we learn about the hospital and it's staff. She has a secret mission and a tendency to break into lovely songs without warning those around her first. Her essential nice-ness mean that she is doomed to end up as the love of Rays life, despite the efforts of...
Dr Richard Lovechild - played by David Swann. This series was made close enough to the 80's for yuppies to still be funny, and so Dick is the yuppie supreme. Rarely makes it through an operation without calling his broker on his mobile. Wears a ponytail. Likes to tell anyone who'll listen just how much money he's made. Likes the ladies, and puts the moves on every woman who crosses the threshold of the hospital. Sex scenes involving this character have to be seen to be believed - let's just say you'll never watch Royal Ascot in the same way again. Despite all these character defects, he is played with such vim that you can't help loving him, especially for his performance in the cheapest car chase ever committed to film, video, or in this case camcorder.
Warren Cronkshonk - played by Peter Rowsthorn. Hospital orderly, and treated as the lowest of the low. This isn't helped by his unfortunate hair, which looks like a See You Jimmy wig that's been electrified, or his malfunctioning dribble duct. Despite all his handicaps in life, he is determined to become a doctor and so win the hand of....
Nurse Effie Shunt - played by Helen Knight. Beautiful but tragically short, Nurse Effie craves a wealthy doctor to marry her and bury her in the lap of luxury, but more often then not they end up dumping her the morning after. She and Warren have a spark, but he's too poor and ordinary for her. But could Effie’s values be about to undergo a radical change?
Detective George Slabb - played by Mark Cutler. That's Slab-ub, and "why does a hospital require a detective?", I hear you cry. Easy, to track down the axe-murderer who only attacks those wearing uniforms, of course. Once that particular plot strand is sorted out (and it's a long one - takes a whole 3 episodes to get resolved, which for this show is like War and Peace) he decides to stick around and put his MD in Psychology to good use. This may be because he's fallen in love, but where he sees an Angel of Mercy, all others see and fear...
Matron Dorothy Conniving-Bitch - played by Lynda Gibson. In many ways, the most fun character on the show. Evil and revels in it. Likes a bit of a scheme. Keen on a bit of a conspiracy. Enjoys a bit of a plot-plot-plotty-plot. Desperately wants to be Administrator and will stop at nothing including murder, voodoo, brainwashing, torture and pregnancy to get the job. This means she doesn't have a lot of time for nursing, but it's probably for the best, seeing as she's been known to pour petrol into patients blood supplies. She's pretty much the root of all plots on this show, as everything seems to result from this weeks attempt to grab the Admin position for herself. But like all great super villains, she has one weakness - the false perspective set wall is the bane of her existence, and her attempts to gain access to this prop have been known to induce total mental collapse.
So, these various lunatics are trapped within the shonkiest set in Christendom, and let loose on each other, and from such simple origins does comedy gold emerge. The cast has so much fun they seem loathe to let anyone else get involved, and so tremendous pleasure can be had by spotting which regular cast members are cameoing in a variety of nasty wigs in the background of other scenes. This series also covers such interesting plots twists as vampires, cheap and nasty dream sequences, and Country and Western songs comparing love to a barium meal. The cast and crew don't really seem to care where the plots go, as long as they lead to a big bucket of laughs, an attitude which leads to the frankly mindblowing last episode of the first year, in which 8 different cliffhangers emerge in the space of ten minutes. The second series wisely doesn't try to top this, instead deciding to make everybody’s lives the happiest they've been for along time, before dropping them into a cliffhanger that is literally out of this world.
And there the series ends. The original stage play did follow on from this cliffhanger and set up what would have been series three, but for one reason or another, it never happened. The whole series looks like it only cost £27.13 per episode to produce, and it was undeniably popular, so the most likely explanation is that the cast just wanted to do other things. Sadly, none of these things seemed to have done as well as LTBRF - a couple of cast members can be found on the imdb, but their working lives do seem sporadic. Some people still hope for the return of the show, but this long after the event, I'm not sure just how it would work out, and the cast certainly aren't up to some of the more energetic shenanigans they used to do. But a ten years later reunion tv movie - now that could work. Dick could be a dotcom millionaire, while Ray, Pam and Julio (don't ask) could have just returned from voluntary work in deepest Africa. Effie and Warren could be a spoilt pampered wife and overworked consultant, while Slabb could probably get his own reality TV show as the (literally) Singing Detective. And then, ten years to the day since they were all released from the wall (don't ask), they all receive a mysterious summons to call them all back to St Christophers, where a familiar figure is finally about to take control of that oh-so precious Administrators Office…