Hooclesiastes or The hooverer
Created | Updated Nov 7, 2005
Hooclesiastes
or
The hooverer
1:1 The words of the Preachers, the followers of nighthoover, king of all.
1:2 hooverly followers of Nighthoover, saith the Preacher, Nighthoovers of Hooverlyness; all is hoover. Oh yea, for it is so, a thousand yeas for it is so, and yea again, lettuce sucketh all as mightly as we may, oh yea.
1:3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the hoover?
1:4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the Hoover abideth for ever.
1:5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun go down, and has knowledge to Hoover at that sacred place of Hoovering, at night where it was that the Hoover of the night, and the prophet, Nighthoover arose.
1:6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to how much flatulence has brewed.
1:7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not as full as a full Hoover; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return like the dust from a full Hoover bag, again.
1:8 All things are full of limpid dusty wretched junk; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing dust, nor the ear filled with dark dank wretched nasty things that lurk behind the cushion on the sofa.
1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is dust is that which shall be dust: and there is no new thing under the dust except that for which all true disciples must search, absence of dark dank dusty things of filth and disgust.
1:10 Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is beer, called ale? It hath been already of old time, which was before us and our drinking.
1:11 There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after oh yea.
1:12 I the Preacher was drunk on ale and certainly couldn’t remember what it was that had happened, or what was to happened, such are the well laid plans of those that drink as the prophet did, and does to arise at the time of the removal of the dust, the time called night, the hooverly hour.
1:13 And I gave my disciples to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are dust, dank, wretched in the dirty respect of filth and dank dusty and such, under carpet, sofa, and cat: this sore travail hath Nighthoover given to the sons of all that stand in reverence of the prophet and the Hooverly ways, to be exercised therewith and at the appropriate time.
1:14 I have seen all the works that are done under the dust; and, quite frankly I’m bluddy disgusted at the level of clenliness demonstrated by those that don’t uphold the prophets ways of drink before hoover, and never hoover when the big round thing floatith so damm annoyingly in the middle of the big blue thing.
1:15 That which is Dusty can be made dustless: but, that which is wanting ale cannot be served outside the system of licensing, and damm that several times over also.
1:16 I communed with mine own ale, saying, Lo, oh yea, I am come to this state, and a thousand yeas have gotten more drunk than all they that have been before me in this place, and grill: yea, my ale had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
1:17 And I gave my ale to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is hooverly as is the inebriated state in which the act must consume, of hoover-like nature and preserve.
1:18 For in much drunkenness is much Hoovering at the appropiate time: and he that increaseth drunkenness increaseth Hooverability.
2:1 I said in mine floor-facing state, Go to now, I will prove thee with Hoover, therefore enjoy pleasure: and, behold, this also is about as Hooverly as a really, really, amazingly Hooverly thing, and that is just so true.
2:2 I said of laughter, It is mad: I am mad, the Hoover is plugged in, I am mad, the laughter is mad, The Hoover is mad, the dust is mad, I am mad, my ale is a banana and the table leg is half way to calling a petunia a Hoover cable, like as not it is ale, and ale that it is, is that shall be drunk, and I wondered what it was I was getting at, as did most of the gathered peoples about, and of Hoover, What doeth it?
2:3 I sought in mine Hoover to give myself unto ale of the greatest quality and quantity, yet acquainting mine Hoover with Hooverness; and to lay hold on park benches, till I might see what was that good for the men that did lay so, which they should do under the discarded cardboard boxes to their seeming enjoyment, but at this point nothing made too much sense, except the continuing groovyness of the Hooverly way, the table leg as Hooverly as a petunia floated up the lamppost and this I did note. But oh yea, in the perceived madness all was still most nighthooverly and hooverable and wonderous and mightly so it sucketh merrily so, for this was good so mindeth not did the man.
2:4 I made me hooverly works; I builded me hoovers; I planted me vineyards:
2:5 I made me home brewed ale and wine, and I planted pertunias in the table legs which did seemeth to give much pleasure of all door handles kind of like biscuit fruits:
2:6 I made me pools of water, to water therewith when a toilet seemed distant or unhooverly in its quasi madness:
2:7 I got me servants and maidens, though the servants took me to my house, telling me to sobre, but there blue flashing lights cast night light as if to hoover by; also I had great hooverly possessions of hoover and kebab above all that were in fasionable buttons:
2:8 I gathered me also hoover cable and several adaptor pieces that did attach to the hoover, and the peculiar treasure of the hooverly and of the exhibited: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of karaoke in the pub on a Sunday were realised, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts lead to much more drinking than normal, cause it really was that bad, and don[‘t you believe it, cause it was ransid like shoelaces.
2:9 So I was drunk, and increased the petunia’s more than all that were before me in line for the urinal: also my hooverability remained with me. Oh yea, for though this was most probably good, it most certainly seemed strange, and more than a little nighthooverly in some strange manner, oh yea.
2:10 And whatsoever mine ale desired I cradled the ale like a hoover, I withheld not my Hoover from any joy; for my Hoover rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of Hoovering at night, after the pub, in the way as it should always be.
2:11 Then I looked on all the dust and dark dank filth that Hooverly ways, hooverability and hoover had banished, and on the hooverly way that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was hoover and hooverly of hoover, and there was no profit under the sun, for night was the right time as such to be.
2:12 And I turned myself to behold nighthoover, and madness, and folly: for what can the man do that cometh after the prophet called nighthoover, hooverly and all hoover and night? even that which hath been already Hoovered, can be done so again in reverence to the one true mighty one called nighthoover.
2:13 Then I saw that hoover removed dust, as far as ale removed something I think I might have forgotten, damm it.
2:14 The wise man's eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all.
2:15 Then said I in my ale, As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more hooverly? Then I said in my ale, that this also Is hooverly.
2:16 For there is no remembrance of the nighthoovering that hooverly behaviour desires after the time of ale consumption, for the fool never does such, and lives a horrible existence of dirt, dank, dust and damsil fly’s cause he didn’t hoover at night, revere nighthoover the one true prophet, and most certainly didn’t order a large kebab after the ale drinking, but before the hoovering that should occur at night, oh yea, in reverence to the mighty one, the one true prophet, the nighthoover we are herein concerned with, and why not?; seeing that which now is in the days to come shall all be hooverly as that which is really rather hooverly. And yea, for merrily and mightly and so as such be most nighthooverly, oh yea, even, if, sometimes it seemeth rather odd, oh yea.
And how dieth the unhooverly man? as the fool.
2:17 Therefore I hated low fat food, day tine TV and commercialism to too great an extent; because theHoover that is wrought under the catogries outlined briefly immediately prior to this statement, is grievous unto me: for all is unhooverly, unless it is hooverly, and vexation of spirits, like, which should go best with that that was before?
2:18 Yea, I hated all my rancid shoelaces, which I had taken under the hoover: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me, and turning back, cried wait your time.
2:19 And who knoweth whether he shall be a hooverly man or a fool? Yet shall he have rule over all my hooverness wherein I have hoovered, and wherein I have shewed myself wise under the hooverly gaze. This is also Nighthooverly.
2:20 Therefore I went about to cause my hoover to despair of all the dust which I took under the shoelaces.
2:21 For there is a man whose hoover, hooverlyness, and hooverly nature is wisdom, and in knowledge, and in hooverlyness; yet to a man that hath not hooverness enough shall he leave it for his portion. This also is unhooverly and a great evil oh yea, hrorridith be it so, I think.
2:22 For what hath man of all his Hoover, and of the vexation of his hoover, wherein he hath Hoovered under the sun?
2:23 For all his days are sorrows, and his travail grief; yea, his Hoover taketh not its proper place in the night. This is also unhooverly.
2:24 There is nothing better for a man, than that he should drink and hoover, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his hooverness, but damm it, at Night, for that is one thing the prophet, the mighty one, the one called nighthoover, made pretty damm clear. This also I saw, that it was from the hoover of nighthoover.
2:25 For who can hoover and drink, more than I?
2:26 For nighthoover giveth to a man that is good in his sight hooverness, and other hooverly things, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before Nighthoover. This also isHooverlyness and vexation of spirit.
3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to drink, and a time to be drunk;
3:3 A time to eat kebab, and a time to discard desiccated kebab remains; a time to hoover, and a time to hoover again;
3:4 A time to dust, and a time to laugh; a time to sleep, and a time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to Hoover; a time to be preached, and a time to preach;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to shout ‘rabbits’, and a time to eat left over kebab; a time of war, and a time of yeas.
3:9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
3:10 I have seen the travail, which Nighthoover hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
3:11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out theHoover that Nighthoover maketh from the beginning to the end.
3:12 I know that there is no nighthooverability in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his nighthooerability.
3:13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of Nighthoover.
3:14 I know that, whatsoever Nighthoover doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and Nighthoover doeth it, that men should fear before him.
3:15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and Nighthoover requireth that which is past. Oh yea, for this also is so, and not be the time for corn flrour nor of suet, oh yea, for the nighthooverly hoover at night, as the bobbly pavement bobbles so, a thousand yeas, and it be so, and sucketh mightly does the devote, oh yea, mrilly so, lamppost.
3:16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there.
3:17 I said in mine heart, Nighthoover shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.
3:18 I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that Nighthoover might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.
3:19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is Nighthooverly.
3:20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.
3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the dark, dank Nonnighthooverlyness of dust?
3:22 Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice
in his own hovering and rinjking and speling eros and coat buttons and string and a thousand yeas on a dust-free table as so be that we rejoice cleaner and nighthooverly, as is the table, oh yea, and all is as it is, for merrily it be so, ; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to
see what shall be after him?
4:1 So I returned, and considered all
the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the dust of such as were oppressed, and they had no hoover; and on the side of their oppressors there was hooverability; but they had no hoover, kebab, beer, button, shoelaces, lampposts or extremely plesent to tey eyes table legs.
4:2 Wherefore I praised the dead which are already nighthooverable more than the living which are yet unnighthooverable, oh yea, for this is most bad and not bodatious.
4:3 Yea, better is he than both they, which hath not yet been, who
hath not seen the evilHoover that is done under the sun.
4:4 Again, I considered all travail, and every right work, that for
this a man is envied of his neighbour. This is alsoHooverlyness and
vexation of spirit.
4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own dust.
4:6 Better is an handful with hoover, kebab, beer and many a yea of things, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of dusty things, oh yea, mrily it be so, probably.
4:7 Then I returned, and I sawHooverlyness under the sun.
4:8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath
neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his hoovering;
neither is his eye satisfied with a thousand yeas, ale bread and hoover of hand; neither saith he, For whom
do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore lack of hoover most yea and merrily so.
4:9 Two ales are better than one; because they have a good reward for their
merrily suckething hooverly owner, yea a thousand times be it so.
4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him
that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to hoover him up.
4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one
be warm alone?
4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall
withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. And yea, for whatsoever this means, it be or not be nighthooverly oh yea, mrrily so.
4:13 Better is a poor and a wise hoover than an old and foolish king,
who will no more be nighthooverable, nighthooverly and sucketh not as one might wish ye did, oh yea.
4:14 For out of prison he cometh to be non nighthooverly; whereas also he that is born in his hooverdom becometh nighthooverly.
4:15 I considered all the living which walk under the sun, with the
second child that shall stand up in his stead.
4:16 There is no end of all the people, even of all that have been before them: they also that come after shall not rejoice in nighthooverlyness, lest they not take apon thiselves the way of the hoover, merrily so they must learneth to sucketh most merrily and mightly so.
Surely this also isHooverlyness and vexation of spirit.
5:1 Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of Nighthoover, and be more
ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider
not that they do the unnighthooverly deads, and, yea, we don’t really want to go there, trust me.
5:2 Be not rash with thy hoover, and let not thine hoover be hasty to hoover any thing before Nighthoover: for Nighthoover is in heaven, and thou upon earth:
therefore let thy words be sardines in tomato sauce, tuna chunks in sunflower oil, or new nice shoelaces or lamppost, like hoover is it be so yea oh merrily mightly oh heck.
5:3 For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's
voice is known by multitude of words.
5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto Nighthoover, defer not to pay it; for he hath
no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
5:5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest
vow and not pay.
5:6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy hoover to sin; neither say thou before the prophet, that it was an earwig: wherefore should Nighthoover be angry
at thy voice, and destroy the hoover of thine hands? 5:7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities: but
fear thou Nighthoover.
5:8 If thou seest the oppression of the poor, and violent perverting
of judgment and justice in a hooverly whatist, marvel not at the matter: for
he that is higher than the highest regardeth; and there be higher than
they.
5:9 Moreover the profit of the earth is for all: nighthoover himself is
served by the field.
5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he
that loveth abundance with increase: this is also unnighthooverly, and that is not, good, lest you forget, hay, cool.
5:11 When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what
good is there to the owners thereof, saving the beholding of them with
their eyes? 5:12 The sleep of a nighthoovering man is sweet, whether he hoover little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him
to sleep, for remember ye that he hath not sucketh mightly and merrily with hoover at night, for no nighthoovering is bad thing, many times again as yea it be so.
5:13 There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely,
dirt, dust and much filth kept for the owners thereof to their hurt.
5:14 But those riches perish by evil travail: and he begetteth a son, for he should have hovered yea, he should,
and there is nothing in his hand, not even a mighty hoover.
or
The hooverer
1:1 The words of the Preachers, the followers of nighthoover, king of all.
1:2 hooverly followers of Nighthoover, saith the Preacher, Nighthoovers of Hooverlyness; all is hoover. Oh yea, for it is so, a thousand yeas for it is so, and yea again, lettuce sucketh all as mightly as we may, oh yea.
1:3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the hoover?
1:4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the Hoover abideth for ever.
1:5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun go down, and has knowledge to Hoover at that sacred place of Hoovering, at night where it was that the Hoover of the night, and the prophet, Nighthoover arose.
1:6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to how much flatulence has brewed.
1:7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not as full as a full Hoover; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return like the dust from a full Hoover bag, again.
1:8 All things are full of limpid dusty wretched junk; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing dust, nor the ear filled with dark dank wretched nasty things that lurk behind the cushion on the sofa.
1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is dust is that which shall be dust: and there is no new thing under the dust except that for which all true disciples must search, absence of dark dank dusty things of filth and disgust.
1:10 Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is beer, called ale? It hath been already of old time, which was before us and our drinking.
1:11 There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after oh yea.
1:12 I the Preacher was drunk on ale and certainly couldn’t remember what it was that had happened, or what was to happened, such are the well laid plans of those that drink as the prophet did, and does to arise at the time of the removal of the dust, the time called night, the hooverly hour.
1:13 And I gave my disciples to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are dust, dank, wretched in the dirty respect of filth and dank dusty and such, under carpet, sofa, and cat: this sore travail hath Nighthoover given to the sons of all that stand in reverence of the prophet and the Hooverly ways, to be exercised therewith and at the appropriate time.
1:14 I have seen all the works that are done under the dust; and, quite frankly I’m bluddy disgusted at the level of clenliness demonstrated by those that don’t uphold the prophets ways of drink before hoover, and never hoover when the big round thing floatith so damm annoyingly in the middle of the big blue thing.
1:15 That which is Dusty can be made dustless: but, that which is wanting ale cannot be served outside the system of licensing, and damm that several times over also.
1:16 I communed with mine own ale, saying, Lo, oh yea, I am come to this state, and a thousand yeas have gotten more drunk than all they that have been before me in this place, and grill: yea, my ale had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.
1:17 And I gave my ale to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is hooverly as is the inebriated state in which the act must consume, of hoover-like nature and preserve.
1:18 For in much drunkenness is much Hoovering at the appropiate time: and he that increaseth drunkenness increaseth Hooverability.
2:1 I said in mine floor-facing state, Go to now, I will prove thee with Hoover, therefore enjoy pleasure: and, behold, this also is about as Hooverly as a really, really, amazingly Hooverly thing, and that is just so true.
2:2 I said of laughter, It is mad: I am mad, the Hoover is plugged in, I am mad, the laughter is mad, The Hoover is mad, the dust is mad, I am mad, my ale is a banana and the table leg is half way to calling a petunia a Hoover cable, like as not it is ale, and ale that it is, is that shall be drunk, and I wondered what it was I was getting at, as did most of the gathered peoples about, and of Hoover, What doeth it?
2:3 I sought in mine Hoover to give myself unto ale of the greatest quality and quantity, yet acquainting mine Hoover with Hooverness; and to lay hold on park benches, till I might see what was that good for the men that did lay so, which they should do under the discarded cardboard boxes to their seeming enjoyment, but at this point nothing made too much sense, except the continuing groovyness of the Hooverly way, the table leg as Hooverly as a petunia floated up the lamppost and this I did note. But oh yea, in the perceived madness all was still most nighthooverly and hooverable and wonderous and mightly so it sucketh merrily so, for this was good so mindeth not did the man.
2:4 I made me hooverly works; I builded me hoovers; I planted me vineyards:
2:5 I made me home brewed ale and wine, and I planted pertunias in the table legs which did seemeth to give much pleasure of all door handles kind of like biscuit fruits:
2:6 I made me pools of water, to water therewith when a toilet seemed distant or unhooverly in its quasi madness:
2:7 I got me servants and maidens, though the servants took me to my house, telling me to sobre, but there blue flashing lights cast night light as if to hoover by; also I had great hooverly possessions of hoover and kebab above all that were in fasionable buttons:
2:8 I gathered me also hoover cable and several adaptor pieces that did attach to the hoover, and the peculiar treasure of the hooverly and of the exhibited: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of karaoke in the pub on a Sunday were realised, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts lead to much more drinking than normal, cause it really was that bad, and don[‘t you believe it, cause it was ransid like shoelaces.
2:9 So I was drunk, and increased the petunia’s more than all that were before me in line for the urinal: also my hooverability remained with me. Oh yea, for though this was most probably good, it most certainly seemed strange, and more than a little nighthooverly in some strange manner, oh yea.
2:10 And whatsoever mine ale desired I cradled the ale like a hoover, I withheld not my Hoover from any joy; for my Hoover rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of Hoovering at night, after the pub, in the way as it should always be.
2:11 Then I looked on all the dust and dark dank filth that Hooverly ways, hooverability and hoover had banished, and on the hooverly way that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was hoover and hooverly of hoover, and there was no profit under the sun, for night was the right time as such to be.
2:12 And I turned myself to behold nighthoover, and madness, and folly: for what can the man do that cometh after the prophet called nighthoover, hooverly and all hoover and night? even that which hath been already Hoovered, can be done so again in reverence to the one true mighty one called nighthoover.
2:13 Then I saw that hoover removed dust, as far as ale removed something I think I might have forgotten, damm it.
2:14 The wise man's eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness: and I myself perceived also that one event happeneth to them all.
2:15 Then said I in my ale, As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even to me; and why was I then more hooverly? Then I said in my ale, that this also Is hooverly.
2:16 For there is no remembrance of the nighthoovering that hooverly behaviour desires after the time of ale consumption, for the fool never does such, and lives a horrible existence of dirt, dank, dust and damsil fly’s cause he didn’t hoover at night, revere nighthoover the one true prophet, and most certainly didn’t order a large kebab after the ale drinking, but before the hoovering that should occur at night, oh yea, in reverence to the mighty one, the one true prophet, the nighthoover we are herein concerned with, and why not?; seeing that which now is in the days to come shall all be hooverly as that which is really rather hooverly. And yea, for merrily and mightly and so as such be most nighthooverly, oh yea, even, if, sometimes it seemeth rather odd, oh yea.
And how dieth the unhooverly man? as the fool.
2:17 Therefore I hated low fat food, day tine TV and commercialism to too great an extent; because theHoover that is wrought under the catogries outlined briefly immediately prior to this statement, is grievous unto me: for all is unhooverly, unless it is hooverly, and vexation of spirits, like, which should go best with that that was before?
2:18 Yea, I hated all my rancid shoelaces, which I had taken under the hoover: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me, and turning back, cried wait your time.
2:19 And who knoweth whether he shall be a hooverly man or a fool? Yet shall he have rule over all my hooverness wherein I have hoovered, and wherein I have shewed myself wise under the hooverly gaze. This is also Nighthooverly.
2:20 Therefore I went about to cause my hoover to despair of all the dust which I took under the shoelaces.
2:21 For there is a man whose hoover, hooverlyness, and hooverly nature is wisdom, and in knowledge, and in hooverlyness; yet to a man that hath not hooverness enough shall he leave it for his portion. This also is unhooverly and a great evil oh yea, hrorridith be it so, I think.
2:22 For what hath man of all his Hoover, and of the vexation of his hoover, wherein he hath Hoovered under the sun?
2:23 For all his days are sorrows, and his travail grief; yea, his Hoover taketh not its proper place in the night. This is also unhooverly.
2:24 There is nothing better for a man, than that he should drink and hoover, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his hooverness, but damm it, at Night, for that is one thing the prophet, the mighty one, the one called nighthoover, made pretty damm clear. This also I saw, that it was from the hoover of nighthoover.
2:25 For who can hoover and drink, more than I?
2:26 For nighthoover giveth to a man that is good in his sight hooverness, and other hooverly things, and joy: but to the sinner he giveth travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him that is good before Nighthoover. This also isHooverlyness and vexation of spirit.
3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to drink, and a time to be drunk;
3:3 A time to eat kebab, and a time to discard desiccated kebab remains; a time to hoover, and a time to hoover again;
3:4 A time to dust, and a time to laugh; a time to sleep, and a time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to Hoover; a time to be preached, and a time to preach;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to shout ‘rabbits’, and a time to eat left over kebab; a time of war, and a time of yeas.
3:9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
3:10 I have seen the travail, which Nighthoover hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
3:11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out theHoover that Nighthoover maketh from the beginning to the end.
3:12 I know that there is no nighthooverability in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his nighthooerability.
3:13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of Nighthoover.
3:14 I know that, whatsoever Nighthoover doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and Nighthoover doeth it, that men should fear before him.
3:15 That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and Nighthoover requireth that which is past. Oh yea, for this also is so, and not be the time for corn flrour nor of suet, oh yea, for the nighthooverly hoover at night, as the bobbly pavement bobbles so, a thousand yeas, and it be so, and sucketh mightly does the devote, oh yea, mrilly so, lamppost.
3:16 And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there.
3:17 I said in mine heart, Nighthoover shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.
3:18 I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that Nighthoover might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.
3:19 For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is Nighthooverly.
3:20 All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.
3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the dark, dank Nonnighthooverlyness of dust?
3:22 Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice
in his own hovering and rinjking and speling eros and coat buttons and string and a thousand yeas on a dust-free table as so be that we rejoice cleaner and nighthooverly, as is the table, oh yea, and all is as it is, for merrily it be so, ; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to
see what shall be after him?
4:1 So I returned, and considered all
the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the dust of such as were oppressed, and they had no hoover; and on the side of their oppressors there was hooverability; but they had no hoover, kebab, beer, button, shoelaces, lampposts or extremely plesent to tey eyes table legs.
4:2 Wherefore I praised the dead which are already nighthooverable more than the living which are yet unnighthooverable, oh yea, for this is most bad and not bodatious.
4:3 Yea, better is he than both they, which hath not yet been, who
hath not seen the evilHoover that is done under the sun.
4:4 Again, I considered all travail, and every right work, that for
this a man is envied of his neighbour. This is alsoHooverlyness and
vexation of spirit.
4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own dust.
4:6 Better is an handful with hoover, kebab, beer and many a yea of things, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of dusty things, oh yea, mrily it be so, probably.
4:7 Then I returned, and I sawHooverlyness under the sun.
4:8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath
neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his hoovering;
neither is his eye satisfied with a thousand yeas, ale bread and hoover of hand; neither saith he, For whom
do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore lack of hoover most yea and merrily so.
4:9 Two ales are better than one; because they have a good reward for their
merrily suckething hooverly owner, yea a thousand times be it so.
4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him
that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to hoover him up.
4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one
be warm alone?
4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall
withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. And yea, for whatsoever this means, it be or not be nighthooverly oh yea, mrrily so.
4:13 Better is a poor and a wise hoover than an old and foolish king,
who will no more be nighthooverable, nighthooverly and sucketh not as one might wish ye did, oh yea.
4:14 For out of prison he cometh to be non nighthooverly; whereas also he that is born in his hooverdom becometh nighthooverly.
4:15 I considered all the living which walk under the sun, with the
second child that shall stand up in his stead.
4:16 There is no end of all the people, even of all that have been before them: they also that come after shall not rejoice in nighthooverlyness, lest they not take apon thiselves the way of the hoover, merrily so they must learneth to sucketh most merrily and mightly so.
Surely this also isHooverlyness and vexation of spirit.
5:1 Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of Nighthoover, and be more
ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider
not that they do the unnighthooverly deads, and, yea, we don’t really want to go there, trust me.
5:2 Be not rash with thy hoover, and let not thine hoover be hasty to hoover any thing before Nighthoover: for Nighthoover is in heaven, and thou upon earth:
therefore let thy words be sardines in tomato sauce, tuna chunks in sunflower oil, or new nice shoelaces or lamppost, like hoover is it be so yea oh merrily mightly oh heck.
5:3 For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's
voice is known by multitude of words.
5:4 When thou vowest a vow unto Nighthoover, defer not to pay it; for he hath
no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
5:5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest
vow and not pay.
5:6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy hoover to sin; neither say thou before the prophet, that it was an earwig: wherefore should Nighthoover be angry
at thy voice, and destroy the hoover of thine hands? 5:7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there are also divers vanities: but
fear thou Nighthoover.
5:8 If thou seest the oppression of the poor, and violent perverting
of judgment and justice in a hooverly whatist, marvel not at the matter: for
he that is higher than the highest regardeth; and there be higher than
they.
5:9 Moreover the profit of the earth is for all: nighthoover himself is
served by the field.
5:10 He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he
that loveth abundance with increase: this is also unnighthooverly, and that is not, good, lest you forget, hay, cool.
5:11 When goods increase, they are increased that eat them: and what
good is there to the owners thereof, saving the beholding of them with
their eyes? 5:12 The sleep of a nighthoovering man is sweet, whether he hoover little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him
to sleep, for remember ye that he hath not sucketh mightly and merrily with hoover at night, for no nighthoovering is bad thing, many times again as yea it be so.
5:13 There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely,
dirt, dust and much filth kept for the owners thereof to their hurt.
5:14 But those riches perish by evil travail: and he begetteth a son, for he should have hovered yea, he should,
and there is nothing in his hand, not even a mighty hoover.
