Lifts
Created | Updated Mar 25, 2002
Lifts are funny metal contraptions that go up and down and up and down (but would rather go sideways). Here are some of the things you are supposed to do in them, Stand and listen to the walls with a stethoscope, move your desk outside the lift and ask everyone who wants to go in if they have an appointment, make crashing noses, when theirs only you and one other person on the lift and deny it was you, go over to the buttons on the wall and say "I wonder what these do?" and press them all, Drop something on the floor then when someone goes to pick it up for you you look at them and shout "that’s mine!", lean on the button that holds the door open and then when someone says something act like u didn’t notice, when the doors shut say in a calm voice to everyone around "its all right they open again", when you go to get you bounce off an emergency force filed and finally keep the door open for about a minute and say "I'm waiting for a friend" and then after bout a mint let the doors shut and look into some space and say "hi Greg how was your day?". But you have to watch these strange and coning creatures because they wait until you walk away to open and just as you get back to the door it shuts and wont open again and sometimes open the doors for you let u get in the don’t open them again until an "engineer" to come and engineers are obviously very lazy creatures as they take ages to come. These beast roam around in dark tall holes in the middle of tall buildings.
