The hots
Created | Updated Mar 25, 2002
The hots are a condition that afflict every member of the human race. Person X has the hots for person Y when X is sexually attracted to Y. This attraction is based on a desire to hug, kiss, and otherwise interact physically with Y. Usually, Y does not want X to have the hots for her because Y has the hots for Z.
The hots are to be distinguished from true love by the following criteria:
1. If X manages to do the things he has a desire to do to Y, and finds that they were not nearly as much fun as he had expected, then it was true love. If he finds true ecstacy in the arms of Y, then it was a case of the hots. The hots never, ever, go away because after X does the things with Y that he wants to do, his desire to do them again is even greater than his original desire to do them the first time. True love, on the other hand, is always complicated by the desire to get married, have kids, and buy a house in the suburbs. The hots avoids these complicating factors.
The hots are to be distinguished from true love by the following criteria:
1. If X manages to do the things he has a desire to do to Y, and finds that they were not nearly as much fun as he had expected, then it was true love. If he finds true ecstacy in the arms of Y, then it was a case of the hots. The hots never, ever, go away because after X does the things with Y that he wants to do, his desire to do them again is even greater than his original desire to do them the first time. True love, on the other hand, is always complicated by the desire to get married, have kids, and buy a house in the suburbs. The hots avoids these complicating factors.
