War
Created | Updated Mar 25, 2002
A war takes place when two large groups of people are rapidly transformed into two small groups of people. Of course, each of these groups is organised by some kind of leader (king, president, dictator, mad scientist, etc.) The leader of one group must find an excuse to pick a fight with the leader of the other group.
Historically, there have been cases where wars were fought because the king of country X had the hots for the wife of the king of country Y since kings are notorious for not sharing their wives, the only way that the king of country X could get the queen of country Y was to kill the king of country Y. Many a war has been fought on these grounds.
In the modern era, the issue of the hots has been eliminated as a result of several developments: 1. The wives of the leaders of todays countries are usually ugly and not at all attractive. (Do you think Boris Yelsin's wife is sexy?) 2. There is an abundance of interns and babysitters that the leaders of countries have been knows to have the hots for. Since these women are generally speaking not married, there is little reason to have a war. 3. The people don't generally care who their leaders have the hots for, and therefore they don't want to go to war because of said hots.
The only other major reason for war is when one group of people possess something that the other group wants. This could be oil, gold, land, or other material goods. Such wars are becoming more popular with the demise of wars based on the hots.
Historically, there have been cases where wars were fought because the king of country X had the hots for the wife of the king of country Y since kings are notorious for not sharing their wives, the only way that the king of country X could get the queen of country Y was to kill the king of country Y. Many a war has been fought on these grounds.
In the modern era, the issue of the hots has been eliminated as a result of several developments: 1. The wives of the leaders of todays countries are usually ugly and not at all attractive. (Do you think Boris Yelsin's wife is sexy?) 2. There is an abundance of interns and babysitters that the leaders of countries have been knows to have the hots for. Since these women are generally speaking not married, there is little reason to have a war. 3. The people don't generally care who their leaders have the hots for, and therefore they don't want to go to war because of said hots.
The only other major reason for war is when one group of people possess something that the other group wants. This could be oil, gold, land, or other material goods. Such wars are becoming more popular with the demise of wars based on the hots.
