h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm the exact opposite, from a young age I wanted babies of my own and couldn't wait to start a family. Now I'm a grandma (my grandson is 10) and I can't stand the thought of any more babies.

If you choose not to have children of your own, make sure your partner agrees, or you're heading for trouble down the line.

Sorry sprout, my post is in reply to Opti's first posting, not yours!

I remember a situation a while back which a friend of mine faced.

She was kind of involved with a male friend of hers. They weren't really officially dating, but they were both happy wtih the arrangement. However, there came a point when she thought she may be pregnant. She was worried and understandably stressed about the whole thing. She was studying at university - her parents would not have approved at all, and she was quite ambitious and certainly did not want to settle down. She decided that if she was pregnant, she would have an abortion. Furthermore, she wasn't a maternal person. The idea of babies just...didn't appeal to her.

Her partner (for want of a better word) was earning at the time. He told her that if she was pregnant, he would be more than happy to raise the child with her and make their relationship happy. I get the feeling he imagined settling down with her and having a couple of kids.

At the end of the day she wasn't pregnant. But it was interesting how her partner reacted. He wanted the baby.

A lot of people who aren't Catholic have abortions simply because they don't think they can cope, or they're just not ready for a baby or a number of other reasons.

I think it's not so much that people don't want a baby - an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy probably will be terminated. What I think Ictoan was meaning was that when the baby arrives, the mother doesn't necessarily bond with their child as they expected to. Many people struggle with child rearing, doesn't mean they'd rather give the child away. The relationship between parent & child may get better/worse/fluctuate as the child grows up.

It isn't at all odd to me that the original poster isn't interested in pregnancy or babies & don't expect to change, either! You may find you want children, you may just make a decision to have them, or not. Whatever the situation, you have to try & make the best of it or you'll be miserable.

What's so sad is when people desperately want children & can't or decide too late that they wish they'd had them. I suspect that happens far more often than people regretting having children.

"What's so sad is when people desperately want children & can't or decide too late that they wish they'd had them. I suspect that happens far more often than people regretting having children."

Or just not finding the right person to have them with. Sometimes it isn't just the having or not having, it's the who you have them with that counts as well.

And there are degrees of want to. Some for examplpe just want shrink wrapped, prepackaged kids and any sort of actual daily responsibility type involvement is not wanted at all.

I was thinking of that as well. I guess it's a bit easier for a single woman to organise to have a baby without a partner than it is for a man

Or did you mean that you might find you've chosen the wrong person? That must happen quite a lot too.

both I think, although I was thinking more about the finding from a personal perspective (i.e. I do want kids, but haven't yet found anyone daft enough to help make this happen). But the right person thing also applies to finding you've chosen the wrong person. The comments about shrink wrapped kids comes from a situation I know about where the father seemed to want kids as some sort of house ornament.

To be seen when required & then put away? How awful, especially if that's both parents & the kids have to look to a nanny for some love & attention.