The Wisdom of the World (a bit long, who knew there was this much...)
Created | Updated Mar 25, 2002
As it has been well documented, all knowledge has existed at one time or another. And, as most people, as soon as
they find something out, ramble on incessantly about their "newfound knowledge" most of this information has survived
in the form of quotations. Here is a sampling:
"How clever of me to use my spine to break my fall." - Darkwing Duck
"Two words : nuclear f*****g weapons..." - Dennis Leary
"Knowledge is power." - Motto of Phi Eta Sigma
"If you give 100% all of the time, somehow, everything will work out in the end." - Chris Street, U of Iowa Basketball player killed in a car crash Jan 1993
"Stress makes you stupid." - Prof. Bob Baron
"The first half of your life is ruined by your parents, the second by your children." - Clarence Darrow
"The end justifies the means." - Niccolo Machiavelli from The Prince
"It does bother me when everyone comes in here asking me what happened to the dinosaur. It's obvious what happened - someone cut his head off." - Lonnie Vivians about the decapitation of the Sinclair dinosaur
"When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it." - Anatole France
"Without friends no one would want to live, even if he had all other goods." - Aristotle
"Not how lavishly but how happily you live is what counts." - R.C. Trench
"Keep a store of sarcasms, and know how to use them." - Baltasar Gracian
"What is love? Two souls and one flesh. Friendship? Two bodies and one soul." - Joseph Roux
"Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind." - Samuel Ullman
"The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool!" - Rudyard Kipling
"He is a sheep in sheeps clothing." - Winston Churchill
"Don't stop fighting until ten minutes after you're dead. And maybe not even then." - Peter Parker, The Amazing Spider-Man
"There is no fun in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." - John W. Raper
"I like to talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people." - Jackie Mason
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - unknown
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers
"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore!" - Henry Ward Beecher
"I only drink to make other people seem more interesting." - George Jean Nathan
"Mike Hammer drinks beer and not cognac because I can't spell cognac." - Mickey Spillane
"I never dared be radical when young for fear it would make me conservative when old." - Robert Frost
"Trying to build my body, trying to lose my mind." - Greaseball, Starlight Express
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful." - from the song of the same title, by Jimmy Buffet
"I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race, and that's bad enough for me." - Mark Twain
"And it feels so real you can feel the feeling." - Spinal Tap
"Be good, but, more importantly, be good at it." - Harry O'Neil
"The most interesting people were probably nerds in school. We have to encourage the differentness that children have, we have to permit and nurture uniqueness." - Duane Michals
"Always be the best and be far above others." - Homer, "Iliad" 6.208
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him." - Mark Twain
"When I was a boy I was told that anyone could become president. I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
"Death is the only great adventure." - Capt. James Hook, "Hook"
"A man always has two reasons for doing anything - a good reason and a real reason." - J.P. Morgan
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
"A good listener is usually thinking of something else." - Kin Hubbard
"A smattering of everything and a knowledge of nothing." - Charles Dickens
"I'm not dead yet." - from Monty Python and The Search for the Holy Grail
"When everyone is out to get you, paranoid is just good thinking." - Johnny Fever from "WKRP in Cincinnati"
"Fate is just a pair of neurosis' deciding they're perfect for each other." - Sleepless in Seattle
"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever." - Sarah Josephson
"Fascinating." - Spock, from "Star Trek"
"Life is the ultimate adventure, and death the prize that awaits us all." - Yukio, "Wolverine"
"When a man wants to murder a tiger, he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him, he calls it ferocity." - George Bernard Shaw
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something." - from The Princess Bride
"A sportsman is someone who, every now and then, simply has to kill something." - Stephen Leacock
"God is on the side of the heaviest Battalions." - Voltaire
"Only the good die young." - Billy Joel
"Only the young die good." - Oliver Herford
"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard
"All are lunatic, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
"The show must go on." - Queen
"Exit, stage right!" - Snagglepuss
"One day, I shall come back, yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all of your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine." - William Hartnell, the first Doctor, "Dr. Who"
"Anything other than death is a minor injury." - Bill Muncey
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Voltaire
"People are stupid. Think about how stupid the average person is. Then think, half the people are more stupid than him." - George Carlin
"In place of pen and paper, the main working tools were a set of molecular models superficially resembling the toys of preschool children." - James D. Watson
"Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." - Rick Moranis, from Spaceballs
"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." - Montaigne
"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." - George Burns
"Oh, sorry. Did I say something wrong? Pardon me for breathing, which I don't do anyway so I don't know why I say it; oh, God I'm so depressed." - Marvin, from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
"We can communicate an idea around the world in seventy seconds, but it sometimes takes years for an idea to get through a quarter inch of human skull." - Charles Kettering
"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like." - Jean Cocteau
"Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day." - Samuel Goldwyn
"If they don't want to come, you can't stop them." - Yogi Berra
"Life is too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde
"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." - Edward Abbey
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - P.J. O'Rourke
"Never judge a book by its movie." - J.W. Eagan
"Once a man has children, for the rest of his life his attitude is, 'To hell with the world, I can make my own people.'" - Jerry Seinfeld
"Revenge is a dish best served cold." - Sicilian proverb
"Poetry is nobody's business but the poets, and everybody else can f**k off." - Philip Larkin
"I find nothing more depressing than optimism." - Paul Fussell
"If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment." - Harry F. Banks
"The plaintiff smugly rests her case." - Steve Dallas from "Bloom County"
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." - Lily Tomlin
"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man." - Erica Jong
"We have met the enemy, and he is us." - Pogo
"I'd never join a club that would have me as a member." - Groucho Marx
"It's not that they die, but that they die like sheep." - T.S. Eliot, "The Wasteland"
"Cum dignitae otium (leisure with dignity)." - Cicero, 50 BC
"Ordinarily he is insane, but he has lucid moments when he is only stupid." - Heinrich Heine
"Sometimes the clothes do not make the man." - George Michael, "Freedom"
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." - Albert Einstein
"The word nonhazardous, as applied here, means relatively benign, as far as organic laboratory chemicals go. After all, even pure water, carelessly handled, can kill you." - James W. Zubrick, The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever." - David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is totally indistinguishable from magic. " -Arthur C. Clarke
"Let's be clear. The planet is not in jeopardy. We are in jeopardy. We haven't got the power to destroy the planet - or to save it - but we might have the power to save ourselves." - Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
"If all the world's a stage, what are you doing in the audience?" - motto of The West Side Players, University of Iowa
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die." - from The Princess Bride
"To learn history means to seek and find forces which are the causes leading to those effects which we subsequently perceive as historical events." - Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf
"When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course." - Peter Drucker
"If your sample is not ground homogeneously, then your sample will not be homogeneous." - Prof. Ching Ting
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln
"It's a damned poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways of spelling an word." - Andrew Jackson
"Common sense ain't common." - Kenneth E. Leak
"Women like quiet men. They believe they are listening to them." - Marcel Achard
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." - Don Marquis
"Men are born ignorant, not stupid, they are made stupid by education." - Bertrand Russel
"But what would you do with a brain, if you had one?" - Dorthy, "The Wizard of Oz"
"I can pardon everyone's mistakes but my own." - Marcus Porcius Cato
"It is very difficult to maintain a relationship based solely on mistrust." - Pierce Brosnan
"If love is the answer, could you please repeat the question?" - Lily Tomlin
"...make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!" - Donald O'Conner, Singin' in the Rain
"It's organic chemistry. It's supposed to scare you." - Dr. Nancy Totah
"I am become Death, destroyer of worlds, awaiting that hour which ripens their doom." - The Rubayat of Omar Khayyam
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
"Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" - Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars
"Humans are creatures who spend their entire lives in an attempt to convince themselves that their lives are not absurd." - Albert Camus
"Why is it that we never know when love begins, but we always know the moment it ends?" - Steve Martin, L.A. Story
"Intelligence is wasted on the stupid." - Jeremy Turner
"It is said that love is blind. Friendship, on the other hand, is clairvoyant." -Philippe Soupault
"He who knows he is a fool is not the biggest fool; he who knows he is confused is not in the worst confusion." - Chuang Tzu
"It is the friends you can call up at 4 AM that matter." - Marlene Dietrich
"A man isn't worth living if he has nothing to die for." - Martin Luther King Jr.
" " - Marcel Marceau
"Ignorance propagates itself. Unless it is stopped as soon as it starts it will continue to grow." - Daniel Basgall
"To find the edge, you must risk going over the edge." - Dennis Dugan
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." - Gothe
"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." - Loa Tzu
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails." - Henry David Thoreau
"Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom." - Alexis de Tocqueville
"Better to die on one's feet than live on one's knees." - Ibarrubi
"Life is short. Play hard." - Reebok slogan
"None of us are as young as we were. So what? Friendship never ages." - W.H. Auden
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it." - Jane Wagner
"The idea of God stands for the possible attempt at an impossible conception. We know nothing about the nature of God." - Edgar Allen Poe
"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." -Colette
"That's the way it is around this place, the fantasy always wins." - Jim Henson
"It takes more courage to suffer than it does to die." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"Life is full of disappointments, yes and I am full of life..." - John Gorka
"Diversity of opinion is the essence of freedom." - Joseph Devlin
"Do, or do not...there is no try." - Yoda, from The Empire Strikes Back
"Fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line." - Vizzini, from The Princess Bride
"If it's a good idea - go ahead and do it. It's much easier to apologize than it is to get permission." - Grace Murrey Hopper, Ph.D., Rear Admiral U.S.N., ret.
"When we can no longer dream, we die." -Emma Goldman
"Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." - Richard Bach
"Goodness consists not in the outward things we do, but the inward things we are. To be is a great thing." - E.H. Chapin
"The only things that exist are atoms and empty space. Everything else is opinion." - Democritus
"A belief is a statement that we are willing to act upon." - Charles Sanders Pierce
"One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." - A. A. Milne
"You can't fool nature." - Richard Feynman
"My fellow Americans, I have just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." - R. Reagan, during a sound check for a 1984 radio broadcast
"One of these days in your travels a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of spades jump out of this deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son do not bet this man, for as sure as you stand there you are going to wind up with an earful of cider." - "Sky" Masterson, Guys and Dolls
"I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over." - HAL 9000, 2001
"Activity is the only road to knowledge." - Bernard Shaw
"Many people say that no power can bring the mountains low. Many people are fools." - Flash Flood card, Magic: the Gathering
"Clever is death." - Steve McConnell
"Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood, they will not protect you the way that they should. And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different than good." - Little Red Riding Hood, Into the Woods
"Three may keep a secret, if two are dead." - Benjamin Franklin
"A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward." - Jean Paul Richter
"Man cannot live by incompetence alone." - Laurence Peter
"The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a bit longer." - U.S. Army slogan
"And that's the way it was." - Walter Cronkite
"Don't force it, get a larger hammer." - Anthony's Law of Force, Murphy's law daily calendar
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - E.A. Poe
"Life consists of a lot of minor annoyances, and few matters of real consequence." - Harvey Penick
"Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint Exupery
"Eyes tell more about a man than anything he says. Eyes reflect a man's soul. They reflect a man's heart. Sometimes they even tell the truths a man wants to keep hidden." - Mr. Meeks, Magic Kingdom for Sale: Sold
"Justice is incidental to law and order." - J. Edgar Hoover
"My interest lies in the future because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there." - Charles Kettering
"And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong
"Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it." - Josh Jenkins
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei
"All men dream; but not equally." - T.E. Lawrence
"It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgment to be silent." - Jean de La Brupere
"If you have a job without aggravation, you don't have a job." - Malcolm Forbes
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor souls who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt
"Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege." - Joseph Stalin
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: All of them make me laugh." - W.H. Auden
"Our prayers are always answered; it's just that God sometimes says 'no'." - Dan Millman
"You cannot transcend what you do not know. To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself." - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man doth know that he is a fool." - William Shakespeare
"Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
"Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, it means life has become one." - Theodore Roosevelt
"You are free and that is why you are lost." - Kafka
"May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies." - Voltaire
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
A soldiers duty is not to die for his country. It's to make the enemy soldier die for his country." - Gen. Patton
"Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well." - Samual Butler
"I don't want to become crazy, but if I'm already crazy, it's better than I expected." - Ashleigh Brilliant
"Don't worry about the world ending today, it's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles M. Schulz
"Death is but a door, time is but a window." - Vigo the Carpathian, Ghostbusters II
"I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected." - William Tecumseh Sherman
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
"The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe." -Peter DeVries
"Imagination was given to mankind to compensate him for what he is not. A sense of humor to console him for what he is." - Francis Bacon
"Life is a city full of strange streets, And Death is a marketplace where everyone meets." - William Shakespeare
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying." - Woody Allen
"The rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken."- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"Give me chastity, but not yet." - Augustine
"An intellectual is one who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows." - Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself." - Guildenstern, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”
"Space...is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space." - from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." - John Andrew Holms
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so..." - William Shakespeare, Hamlet
"History repeats itself. It has to. Nobody listens the first time round."- Woody Allen
"Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." - J.R.R. Tolkien
"When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target." - George Fisher
"Trust is like a sword. When it is new, it is strong and will serve you well. If it is ever broken, it may be reforged, but it will never serve you as it once did." - Sir Thomas Beechan
"The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us." - Quentin Crisp
"I must not fear. Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Edison
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." - Winston Churchill
"Everyone dies, but not everyone lives." - A. Sacha
"Never confuse movement with action." - Benjamin Franklin
"Right, I had to get up in the morning at 10 o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a handful of cold poison, work 29 hours down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about our graves and sing halleluia." - from "The Good Old Days", Monty Python
"Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I've doing." - Wernher von Braun
"Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the universe." - Kurt Vonnegut
"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, the alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering." -The Doctor, "Face of Evil", "Dr. Who"
"Next to silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music." - Thomas Carlyle
"If you gaze for long enough into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of the hard work you already did." - Newt Gingerich
"You're only given a little spark of madness, and if you lose that, you're nothing." - Robin Williams
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet it the mental institution of the universe." - Johann Wolfgang von Gothe
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it's day to day living that wears you out." - Anton Chekov
"The more I read, the more I meditate; and the more I acquire, the more I am enabled to affirm that I know nothing." - Voltaire
"Certain souls seem hard because they are capable of strong feelings, and they sometimes go to rather extreme lengths; their apparent unconcern and cruelty are but ways, known only to themselves, of feeling more strongly than others." - Marquis de Sade
"One thing we know - there is only one God. No man, be he Red man or White man, can be apart. We ARE all brothers after all." - Chief Seattle
"Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month." - Wernher von Braun
"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." - Susan Ertz
"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin." - H. L. Mencken
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail." - Gore Vidal
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Whenever anyone says, 'theoretically', they really mean, 'not really'." - Dave Parnas
"A little help at the right time is better than a lot of help at the wrong time." - Teyve
"When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion." - Ethiopian proverb
"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." -Colette
"There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before." -Willa Cather
"We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Caveat emptor. (Let the buyer beware)" - Unknown
"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten." - B.F. Skinner
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." - Walter Bagehot
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well." - Josh Billings
"What good is science if no one gets hurt?" - Dr. Chromedome, "The Tick"
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live!" - Norman Cousins
"Luck is the pure product of man's sheer ignorance of the world and his undying need to come to a conclusion. " - Mike MacHenry
"Whence come I and whither go I? That is the great unfathomable question." -Max Planck
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track." -Anonymous
"And if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice..." - "Free Will", Rush
“Nil sapientia odiosius acumine nimio. (Nothing is more hateful to wisdom than too much cleverness).” - Seneca
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein
“I want to know the mind of God - the rest is details.” - Albert Einstein
“...I can also define science another way; Science is the belief in the ingnorance of expert.” - Dr. Richard Feynman
“The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums” - G.K. Chesterton
“He loved books; books are cold but sure friends.” - Les Misérables
------
Wow...you actually got to the end. You didn't actually read this all, did you? If you did, and can help me in my quest
for Wisdom, please send me any quotes that you think would fit in. Thanks
they find something out, ramble on incessantly about their "newfound knowledge" most of this information has survived
in the form of quotations. Here is a sampling:
"How clever of me to use my spine to break my fall." - Darkwing Duck
"Two words : nuclear f*****g weapons..." - Dennis Leary
"Knowledge is power." - Motto of Phi Eta Sigma
"If you give 100% all of the time, somehow, everything will work out in the end." - Chris Street, U of Iowa Basketball player killed in a car crash Jan 1993
"Stress makes you stupid." - Prof. Bob Baron
"The first half of your life is ruined by your parents, the second by your children." - Clarence Darrow
"The end justifies the means." - Niccolo Machiavelli from The Prince
"It does bother me when everyone comes in here asking me what happened to the dinosaur. It's obvious what happened - someone cut his head off." - Lonnie Vivians about the decapitation of the Sinclair dinosaur
"When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it." - Anatole France
"Without friends no one would want to live, even if he had all other goods." - Aristotle
"Not how lavishly but how happily you live is what counts." - R.C. Trench
"Keep a store of sarcasms, and know how to use them." - Baltasar Gracian
"What is love? Two souls and one flesh. Friendship? Two bodies and one soul." - Joseph Roux
"Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind." - Samuel Ullman
"The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool!" - Rudyard Kipling
"He is a sheep in sheeps clothing." - Winston Churchill
"Don't stop fighting until ten minutes after you're dead. And maybe not even then." - Peter Parker, The Amazing Spider-Man
"There is no fun in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." - John W. Raper
"I like to talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people." - Jackie Mason
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - unknown
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers
"Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore!" - Henry Ward Beecher
"I only drink to make other people seem more interesting." - George Jean Nathan
"Mike Hammer drinks beer and not cognac because I can't spell cognac." - Mickey Spillane
"I never dared be radical when young for fear it would make me conservative when old." - Robert Frost
"Trying to build my body, trying to lose my mind." - Greaseball, Starlight Express
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful." - from the song of the same title, by Jimmy Buffet
"I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race, and that's bad enough for me." - Mark Twain
"And it feels so real you can feel the feeling." - Spinal Tap
"Be good, but, more importantly, be good at it." - Harry O'Neil
"The most interesting people were probably nerds in school. We have to encourage the differentness that children have, we have to permit and nurture uniqueness." - Duane Michals
"Always be the best and be far above others." - Homer, "Iliad" 6.208
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him." - Mark Twain
"When I was a boy I was told that anyone could become president. I'm beginning to believe it." - Clarence Darrow
"Death is the only great adventure." - Capt. James Hook, "Hook"
"A man always has two reasons for doing anything - a good reason and a real reason." - J.P. Morgan
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
"A good listener is usually thinking of something else." - Kin Hubbard
"A smattering of everything and a knowledge of nothing." - Charles Dickens
"I'm not dead yet." - from Monty Python and The Search for the Holy Grail
"When everyone is out to get you, paranoid is just good thinking." - Johnny Fever from "WKRP in Cincinnati"
"Fate is just a pair of neurosis' deciding they're perfect for each other." - Sleepless in Seattle
"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever." - Sarah Josephson
"Fascinating." - Spock, from "Star Trek"
"Life is the ultimate adventure, and death the prize that awaits us all." - Yukio, "Wolverine"
"When a man wants to murder a tiger, he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him, he calls it ferocity." - George Bernard Shaw
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something." - from The Princess Bride
"A sportsman is someone who, every now and then, simply has to kill something." - Stephen Leacock
"God is on the side of the heaviest Battalions." - Voltaire
"Only the good die young." - Billy Joel
"Only the young die good." - Oliver Herford
"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard
"All are lunatic, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
"The show must go on." - Queen
"Exit, stage right!" - Snagglepuss
"One day, I shall come back, yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all of your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine." - William Hartnell, the first Doctor, "Dr. Who"
"Anything other than death is a minor injury." - Bill Muncey
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Voltaire
"People are stupid. Think about how stupid the average person is. Then think, half the people are more stupid than him." - George Carlin
"In place of pen and paper, the main working tools were a set of molecular models superficially resembling the toys of preschool children." - James D. Watson
"Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." - Rick Moranis, from Spaceballs
"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it." - Montaigne
"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." - George Burns
"Oh, sorry. Did I say something wrong? Pardon me for breathing, which I don't do anyway so I don't know why I say it; oh, God I'm so depressed." - Marvin, from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
"We can communicate an idea around the world in seventy seconds, but it sometimes takes years for an idea to get through a quarter inch of human skull." - Charles Kettering
"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like." - Jean Cocteau
"Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day." - Samuel Goldwyn
"If they don't want to come, you can't stop them." - Yogi Berra
"Life is too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde
"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." - Edward Abbey
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - P.J. O'Rourke
"Never judge a book by its movie." - J.W. Eagan
"Once a man has children, for the rest of his life his attitude is, 'To hell with the world, I can make my own people.'" - Jerry Seinfeld
"Revenge is a dish best served cold." - Sicilian proverb
"Poetry is nobody's business but the poets, and everybody else can f**k off." - Philip Larkin
"I find nothing more depressing than optimism." - Paul Fussell
"If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment." - Harry F. Banks
"The plaintiff smugly rests her case." - Steve Dallas from "Bloom County"
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." - Lily Tomlin
"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man." - Erica Jong
"We have met the enemy, and he is us." - Pogo
"I'd never join a club that would have me as a member." - Groucho Marx
"It's not that they die, but that they die like sheep." - T.S. Eliot, "The Wasteland"
"Cum dignitae otium (leisure with dignity)." - Cicero, 50 BC
"Ordinarily he is insane, but he has lucid moments when he is only stupid." - Heinrich Heine
"Sometimes the clothes do not make the man." - George Michael, "Freedom"
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." - Albert Einstein
"The word nonhazardous, as applied here, means relatively benign, as far as organic laboratory chemicals go. After all, even pure water, carelessly handled, can kill you." - James W. Zubrick, The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever." - David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is totally indistinguishable from magic. " -Arthur C. Clarke
"Let's be clear. The planet is not in jeopardy. We are in jeopardy. We haven't got the power to destroy the planet - or to save it - but we might have the power to save ourselves." - Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
"If all the world's a stage, what are you doing in the audience?" - motto of The West Side Players, University of Iowa
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die." - from The Princess Bride
"To learn history means to seek and find forces which are the causes leading to those effects which we subsequently perceive as historical events." - Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf
"When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course." - Peter Drucker
"If your sample is not ground homogeneously, then your sample will not be homogeneous." - Prof. Ching Ting
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln
"It's a damned poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways of spelling an word." - Andrew Jackson
"Common sense ain't common." - Kenneth E. Leak
"Women like quiet men. They believe they are listening to them." - Marcel Achard
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." - Don Marquis
"Men are born ignorant, not stupid, they are made stupid by education." - Bertrand Russel
"But what would you do with a brain, if you had one?" - Dorthy, "The Wizard of Oz"
"I can pardon everyone's mistakes but my own." - Marcus Porcius Cato
"It is very difficult to maintain a relationship based solely on mistrust." - Pierce Brosnan
"If love is the answer, could you please repeat the question?" - Lily Tomlin
"...make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!" - Donald O'Conner, Singin' in the Rain
"It's organic chemistry. It's supposed to scare you." - Dr. Nancy Totah
"I am become Death, destroyer of worlds, awaiting that hour which ripens their doom." - The Rubayat of Omar Khayyam
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
"Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him?" - Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars
"Humans are creatures who spend their entire lives in an attempt to convince themselves that their lives are not absurd." - Albert Camus
"Why is it that we never know when love begins, but we always know the moment it ends?" - Steve Martin, L.A. Story
"Intelligence is wasted on the stupid." - Jeremy Turner
"It is said that love is blind. Friendship, on the other hand, is clairvoyant." -Philippe Soupault
"He who knows he is a fool is not the biggest fool; he who knows he is confused is not in the worst confusion." - Chuang Tzu
"It is the friends you can call up at 4 AM that matter." - Marlene Dietrich
"A man isn't worth living if he has nothing to die for." - Martin Luther King Jr.
" " - Marcel Marceau
"Ignorance propagates itself. Unless it is stopped as soon as it starts it will continue to grow." - Daniel Basgall
"To find the edge, you must risk going over the edge." - Dennis Dugan
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." - Gothe
"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." - Loa Tzu
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails." - Henry David Thoreau
"Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom." - Alexis de Tocqueville
"Better to die on one's feet than live on one's knees." - Ibarrubi
"Life is short. Play hard." - Reebok slogan
"None of us are as young as we were. So what? Friendship never ages." - W.H. Auden
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it." - Jane Wagner
"The idea of God stands for the possible attempt at an impossible conception. We know nothing about the nature of God." - Edgar Allen Poe
"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." -Colette
"That's the way it is around this place, the fantasy always wins." - Jim Henson
"It takes more courage to suffer than it does to die." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"Life is full of disappointments, yes and I am full of life..." - John Gorka
"Diversity of opinion is the essence of freedom." - Joseph Devlin
"Do, or do not...there is no try." - Yoda, from The Empire Strikes Back
"Fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line." - Vizzini, from The Princess Bride
"If it's a good idea - go ahead and do it. It's much easier to apologize than it is to get permission." - Grace Murrey Hopper, Ph.D., Rear Admiral U.S.N., ret.
"When we can no longer dream, we die." -Emma Goldman
"Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." - Richard Bach
"Goodness consists not in the outward things we do, but the inward things we are. To be is a great thing." - E.H. Chapin
"The only things that exist are atoms and empty space. Everything else is opinion." - Democritus
"A belief is a statement that we are willing to act upon." - Charles Sanders Pierce
"One advantage of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." - A. A. Milne
"You can't fool nature." - Richard Feynman
"My fellow Americans, I have just signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." - R. Reagan, during a sound check for a 1984 radio broadcast
"One of these days in your travels a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of spades jump out of this deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son do not bet this man, for as sure as you stand there you are going to wind up with an earful of cider." - "Sky" Masterson, Guys and Dolls
"I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over." - HAL 9000, 2001
"Activity is the only road to knowledge." - Bernard Shaw
"Many people say that no power can bring the mountains low. Many people are fools." - Flash Flood card, Magic: the Gathering
"Clever is death." - Steve McConnell
"Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood, they will not protect you the way that they should. And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different than good." - Little Red Riding Hood, Into the Woods
"Three may keep a secret, if two are dead." - Benjamin Franklin
"A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward." - Jean Paul Richter
"Man cannot live by incompetence alone." - Laurence Peter
"The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a bit longer." - U.S. Army slogan
"And that's the way it was." - Walter Cronkite
"Don't force it, get a larger hammer." - Anthony's Law of Force, Murphy's law daily calendar
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." - E.A. Poe
"Life consists of a lot of minor annoyances, and few matters of real consequence." - Harvey Penick
"Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint Exupery
"Eyes tell more about a man than anything he says. Eyes reflect a man's soul. They reflect a man's heart. Sometimes they even tell the truths a man wants to keep hidden." - Mr. Meeks, Magic Kingdom for Sale: Sold
"Justice is incidental to law and order." - J. Edgar Hoover
"My interest lies in the future because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there." - Charles Kettering
"And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong
"Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it." - Josh Jenkins
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei
"All men dream; but not equally." - T.E. Lawrence
"It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgment to be silent." - Jean de La Brupere
"If you have a job without aggravation, you don't have a job." - Malcolm Forbes
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor souls who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt
"Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege." - Joseph Stalin
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: All of them make me laugh." - W.H. Auden
"Our prayers are always answered; it's just that God sometimes says 'no'." - Dan Millman
"You cannot transcend what you do not know. To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself." - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man doth know that he is a fool." - William Shakespeare
"Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
"Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, it means life has become one." - Theodore Roosevelt
"You are free and that is why you are lost." - Kafka
"May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies." - Voltaire
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
A soldiers duty is not to die for his country. It's to make the enemy soldier die for his country." - Gen. Patton
"Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well." - Samual Butler
"I don't want to become crazy, but if I'm already crazy, it's better than I expected." - Ashleigh Brilliant
"Don't worry about the world ending today, it's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles M. Schulz
"Death is but a door, time is but a window." - Vigo the Carpathian, Ghostbusters II
"I will not accept if nominated and will not serve if elected." - William Tecumseh Sherman
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
"The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe." -Peter DeVries
"Imagination was given to mankind to compensate him for what he is not. A sense of humor to console him for what he is." - Francis Bacon
"Life is a city full of strange streets, And Death is a marketplace where everyone meets." - William Shakespeare
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying." - Woody Allen
"The rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken."- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"Give me chastity, but not yet." - Augustine
"An intellectual is one who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows." - Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself." - Guildenstern, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”
"Space...is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space." - from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." - John Andrew Holms
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so..." - William Shakespeare, Hamlet
"History repeats itself. It has to. Nobody listens the first time round."- Woody Allen
"Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." - J.R.R. Tolkien
"When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target." - George Fisher
"Trust is like a sword. When it is new, it is strong and will serve you well. If it is ever broken, it may be reforged, but it will never serve you as it once did." - Sir Thomas Beechan
"The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us." - Quentin Crisp
"I must not fear. Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Edison
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it." - Winston Churchill
"Everyone dies, but not everyone lives." - A. Sacha
"Never confuse movement with action." - Benjamin Franklin
"Right, I had to get up in the morning at 10 o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a handful of cold poison, work 29 hours down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about our graves and sing halleluia." - from "The Good Old Days", Monty Python
"Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I've doing." - Wernher von Braun
"Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the universe." - Kurt Vonnegut
"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, the alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering." -The Doctor, "Face of Evil", "Dr. Who"
"Next to silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music." - Thomas Carlyle
"If you gaze for long enough into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of the hard work you already did." - Newt Gingerich
"You're only given a little spark of madness, and if you lose that, you're nothing." - Robin Williams
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet it the mental institution of the universe." - Johann Wolfgang von Gothe
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it's day to day living that wears you out." - Anton Chekov
"The more I read, the more I meditate; and the more I acquire, the more I am enabled to affirm that I know nothing." - Voltaire
"Certain souls seem hard because they are capable of strong feelings, and they sometimes go to rather extreme lengths; their apparent unconcern and cruelty are but ways, known only to themselves, of feeling more strongly than others." - Marquis de Sade
"One thing we know - there is only one God. No man, be he Red man or White man, can be apart. We ARE all brothers after all." - Chief Seattle
"Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month." - Wernher von Braun
"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." - Susan Ertz
"A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin." - H. L. Mencken
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail." - Gore Vidal
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Whenever anyone says, 'theoretically', they really mean, 'not really'." - Dave Parnas
"A little help at the right time is better than a lot of help at the wrong time." - Teyve
"When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion." - Ethiopian proverb
"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." -Colette
"There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before." -Willa Cather
"We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Caveat emptor. (Let the buyer beware)" - Unknown
"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten." - B.F. Skinner
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." - Walter Bagehot
"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well." - Josh Billings
"What good is science if no one gets hurt?" - Dr. Chromedome, "The Tick"
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live!" - Norman Cousins
"Luck is the pure product of man's sheer ignorance of the world and his undying need to come to a conclusion. " - Mike MacHenry
"Whence come I and whither go I? That is the great unfathomable question." -Max Planck
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track." -Anonymous
"And if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice..." - "Free Will", Rush
“Nil sapientia odiosius acumine nimio. (Nothing is more hateful to wisdom than too much cleverness).” - Seneca
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein
“I want to know the mind of God - the rest is details.” - Albert Einstein
“...I can also define science another way; Science is the belief in the ingnorance of expert.” - Dr. Richard Feynman
“The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums” - G.K. Chesterton
“He loved books; books are cold but sure friends.” - Les Misérables
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Wow...you actually got to the end. You didn't actually read this all, did you? If you did, and can help me in my quest
for Wisdom, please send me any quotes that you think would fit in. Thanks
