Marvin Turns To The Dark Side
Created | Updated May 1, 2006
Meet the parents…
Chapter Seven
Marvin flicked through his pile of letters, “Bill, bill, death threat, urgent, bill,”
He said chucking them all on the floor. It was the last letter of the pile that he actually read, although retrospectively, he’d wished he hadn’t: the letter was from his parents.
It read:
Dear Bodkin,
Hi! It’s us! Just sent you a little note to let you know we’re coming around for the month we’ll be were you are in a day so you better behave! And put the kettle on! See you tomorrow, Bodkin.
Lots of love,
Mom and Dad.
Marvin put his head in his hands and sighed loudly, “I can’t believe this! This is the worst thing that could happen, not only has the Doctor embarrassed me but my parents are coming around.”
A Cyberman poked it’s head around the corner, “What is wrong master?”
“Go away before kill you.” said Marvin angrily.
The Cyberman walked off and, if it had a tail, its tail would hang between its legs as a dog’s does. Marvin hit his head off the table. All his evil plans for tomorrow ruined, all because his parents were coming around. How embarrassing!
“I don’t know, just a coincidence.” said the Doctor.
“I don’t think so, you seem to attract evil like… um… like.” said Rose struggling to finish her sentence.
“Like iron to a magnet?” suggested the Doctor, pulling and pressing buttons on the TARDIS console.
“Yes, can you even vaguely think of a reason for it?” asked Rose seeming slightly frustrated.
“Karma?” said the Doctor shrugging ruefully.
Rose pinched herself, “You believe in Karma?”
“No!” said the Doctor, “You asked me if I could think of a reason and I can’t.”
“Oh, so anyway where are we off to?” asked Rose.
The Doctor double checked the co-ordinates, “Um… at the moment? The time vortex.”
“Where are we planning on going?” asked Rose who was beginning to tap her feet impatiently.
“Um,” the Doctor thought for a bit, “How about Medieval England?”
“Heck, why not?!” said Rose cheerfully.
“Hi mom! So glad to see you again!” lied Marvin.
His mum hugged him, “Did you miss us?”
No, thought Marvin but he said, “Yes!”
His mom was an evil English robot teacher who liked to constantly annoy the stupid human children by scratching the blackboard with her fingers. Marvin’s dad was well, he was a mechanic. Rather ironic that: a robot mechanic. Anyway like I was saying he fixed computers, his usual procedures were to swear at them very loudly then smash up a nearby computer printer: he has a very short, how should I put it, let’s say: a very short fuse.
“So how’s your evil empire going?” asked Dad.
“Just don’t ask.” said Marvin sulkily.
“Someone annoying you bodkin?” asked Mom, too loudly.
You! he thought, “Oh, you know just the good guys. You can never seem to get rid of them!”
“So who in particullar?” asked Dad.
“The Doctor.” said Marvin angrily.
“Oh, him.” said Mom, “Yeah, he is a pain in the...”
“So this is Medieval England then?” asked Rose who was still annoyed by the fact that the Doctor had forced her to wear a dress from this period.
“Yep, or at least I think it is.” said the Doctor checking his watch, “No it is.”
Lots of villagers looked open-mouthed at the Doctor’s giant scabs. Rose noticed this and stated to the Doctor, “Your scabs are attracting attention.”
“Well, why wouldn’t they? I mean look at the size of them they’re flamin’ huge!” said the Doctor to Rose.
“Can you go five seconds without hurting yourself in some shape or form?” said Rose.
“No, it’s always been an affliction of mine.” said the Doctor before shoving his hands back in his pockets.
Suddenly, there was a lot of noise and loud shouting up ahead. Rose and the Doctor ran too the main square too find the owner of the noise. Instead they found a lot of angry looking men, on horseback carrying large swords and looking very nasty. Rose stared up at one of them.
One of the villagers called out, “What are you hunting this time m’lord?”
“The unicorn.” shouted one of the men on horseback.
Rose whispered harshly to the Doctor, “Do unicorns really exist?”
“Yes, but like the werewolf they’re not from Earth.” said the Doctor.
“Where are they from?” asked Rose.
“Unicadia, they are an advanced race of horse-like beings that channel they’re mental energy through their horns. And they’re not called unicorns, they’re called: Unicads.” whispered the Doctor, “And they came to Earth as refugees.”
He gave Rose a solemn look, “They’re planet was destroyed by human colonies, the ones on Earth are the last.”
“Let’s go and save them then.” said Rose.
The Doctor grinned wildly and then shouted up at the Lord (whose name was Lord Knightling), “May I and my... um... friend accompany you?”
He nodded, “Give them a horse.”
Someone bought a grey mare over too them. It instantly took a liking to the Doctor and started licking him. The Doctor grinned and then leapt onto the horse. He helped Rose on. They mare flicked her tail like a mad dog.
The Doctor patted her on the neck, “Shush, calm down and stop flicking your tail: it’s very un-horse-like.”
The horse lowered its head as if in recognition. Then they set off.
“You tagged him?” asked Mom admiring her son’s ingenuity.
“Yep, with that new red-hyper-spatial rubbish, it has a rubbish battery.” said Marvin signalling towards the already failing battery.
“Do you want me to fix it for you?” asked Dad clicking his fingers.
“NO! No really, please don’t. Really, don’t.” said Marvin.
The blank screen flashed and then showed the Doctor’s whereabouts. Medieval England, Dartmoor, chasing a group of mad English men wanting to kill a Unicad/Unicorn.
“Now why on Earth is he doing that?” asked Dad.
“Haven’t you heard? He’s the last Time Lord, he has a thirst for saving lives which is where the problem lies.” said Marvin.
The Doctor was very chuffed with himself after fighting off the whole group on his own. Of course, as he always did: receiving a few cuts and bruises along the way. They had saved the Unicad and were now back in the TARDIS.
“Like I said, five minutes!” said Rose pointing at his bruises.
He frowned at her, “I’ve had worse.”
“God are you scared of anything?!” asked Rose rhetorically.
Oddly, the Doctor didn’t reply. Rose looked at him and asked again, “Are you scared of something?!”
He looked up at her, “Yes.”
“What?” asked Rose.
“I’m not gonna tell you: you’ll moan and tease me for... forever!” said the Doctor.
“Your point is?!” she said teasingly.
The Doctor frowned angrily at her. She folded her arms and pretended to sulk.
“How old did you say he was?” asked Mom.
“Umm... roughly one thousand.” said Marvin.
“He doesn’t act his age does he?” said Dad to Mom.
“No, he acts more like a five year old human. Why does he do that?” asked Mom.
Marvin answered simply, “Everyone who’s ever met him wonders exactly the same thing.”
“Even the good guys?”
“Even the good guys.”
The Doctor walked in with a small penguin puppet on his hand. Rose gave it a look of horror.
“Is that yours?” asked Rose, now with a look of horror on her face.
“Yeah, I bought it from this shop a while ago.” he waved it in front of her face, “This is Mr Flibble. He was an evil penguin puppet in an episode of Red Dwarf. Hilarious!”
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“Oh, come on, it’s funny. Look when you press him he says:” the Doctor pressed a button on Mr Flibble.
“Kill! Kill!” squeaked the penguin puppet.
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“It’s not that sad!” said the Doctor, “Is it?”
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“I’ll put it back then.” said the Doctor, beginning to blush slightly.
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“That’s quite a cute toy you’ve got to admit.” said Mom in awe.
Marvin whacked his head off the table.
“Did you watch that episode?” asked Dad to Mom.
“The one where the hologram goes mad?” asked Mom.
“Yeah!” said Dad.
Then the pair of them started laughing hysterically. Marvin sighed very loudly and whacked his head off the table, “Could my life get any worse?”
Marvin’s Mom was laughing so much that she fell on the floor and, on her way down, she accidentally pressed a blue button on Marvin’s keyboard. Marvin whacked his head off the table again. The blue button activated the teleport which would bring the Doctor to Marvin. The only reason he didn’t want the Doctor to come at this precise moment was because his parents were there.
The Doctor suddenly hopped into the console room squinting in pain. Rose raised an eyebrow, “What’s sup?”
“There is something on my leg!” said the Doctor hopping around the console room like a mad maniac.
“Sit down!” said Rose waving her hand in the direction of the chair.
The Doctor hopped on it and raised his leg. He pulled up his trouser leg and felt around the back of his calf. There was a bump on the back of his leg. He tried to pull it off.
“It won’t come off!” said the Doctor picking away at it.
“Let’s have a look.” said Rose before examining the back of the Doctor’s leg.
“What is it?” asked the Doctor.
Rose looked at it closely, “A small red bleeping thing.”
“A homing device or a teleport device or maybe, and more likely, both.” said the Doctor who then continued trying to pick it off.
There was a blue flash and Rose, the Doctor and the TARDIS vanished from the time vortex to Marvin’s fortress in a blue teleport.
Marvin quickly pressed a purple button on his keyboard. A gas was released into the room and all the exits were closed with steel bulkheads. The gas was cloudy and it was specifically designed for the Doctor.
The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS, straight into the cloudy gas with Rose close behind him. The Doctor grabbed his throat and started choking on the gas. Tears streamed down his face and he fell to the floor. His coughing became more violent and he saw three pairs of eyes before he lost consciousness.
Chapter Seven
Marvin flicked through his pile of letters, “Bill, bill, death threat, urgent, bill,”
He said chucking them all on the floor. It was the last letter of the pile that he actually read, although retrospectively, he’d wished he hadn’t: the letter was from his parents.
It read:
Dear Bodkin,
Hi! It’s us! Just sent you a little note to let you know we’re coming around for the month we’ll be were you are in a day so you better behave! And put the kettle on! See you tomorrow, Bodkin.
Lots of love,
Mom and Dad.
Marvin put his head in his hands and sighed loudly, “I can’t believe this! This is the worst thing that could happen, not only has the Doctor embarrassed me but my parents are coming around.”
A Cyberman poked it’s head around the corner, “What is wrong master?”
“Go away before kill you.” said Marvin angrily.
The Cyberman walked off and, if it had a tail, its tail would hang between its legs as a dog’s does. Marvin hit his head off the table. All his evil plans for tomorrow ruined, all because his parents were coming around. How embarrassing!
“I don’t know, just a coincidence.” said the Doctor.
“I don’t think so, you seem to attract evil like… um… like.” said Rose struggling to finish her sentence.
“Like iron to a magnet?” suggested the Doctor, pulling and pressing buttons on the TARDIS console.
“Yes, can you even vaguely think of a reason for it?” asked Rose seeming slightly frustrated.
“Karma?” said the Doctor shrugging ruefully.
Rose pinched herself, “You believe in Karma?”
“No!” said the Doctor, “You asked me if I could think of a reason and I can’t.”
“Oh, so anyway where are we off to?” asked Rose.
The Doctor double checked the co-ordinates, “Um… at the moment? The time vortex.”
“Where are we planning on going?” asked Rose who was beginning to tap her feet impatiently.
“Um,” the Doctor thought for a bit, “How about Medieval England?”
“Heck, why not?!” said Rose cheerfully.
“Hi mom! So glad to see you again!” lied Marvin.
His mum hugged him, “Did you miss us?”
No, thought Marvin but he said, “Yes!”
His mom was an evil English robot teacher who liked to constantly annoy the stupid human children by scratching the blackboard with her fingers. Marvin’s dad was well, he was a mechanic. Rather ironic that: a robot mechanic. Anyway like I was saying he fixed computers, his usual procedures were to swear at them very loudly then smash up a nearby computer printer: he has a very short, how should I put it, let’s say: a very short fuse.
“So how’s your evil empire going?” asked Dad.
“Just don’t ask.” said Marvin sulkily.
“Someone annoying you bodkin?” asked Mom, too loudly.
You! he thought, “Oh, you know just the good guys. You can never seem to get rid of them!”
“So who in particullar?” asked Dad.
“The Doctor.” said Marvin angrily.
“Oh, him.” said Mom, “Yeah, he is a pain in the...”
“So this is Medieval England then?” asked Rose who was still annoyed by the fact that the Doctor had forced her to wear a dress from this period.
“Yep, or at least I think it is.” said the Doctor checking his watch, “No it is.”
Lots of villagers looked open-mouthed at the Doctor’s giant scabs. Rose noticed this and stated to the Doctor, “Your scabs are attracting attention.”
“Well, why wouldn’t they? I mean look at the size of them they’re flamin’ huge!” said the Doctor to Rose.
“Can you go five seconds without hurting yourself in some shape or form?” said Rose.
“No, it’s always been an affliction of mine.” said the Doctor before shoving his hands back in his pockets.
Suddenly, there was a lot of noise and loud shouting up ahead. Rose and the Doctor ran too the main square too find the owner of the noise. Instead they found a lot of angry looking men, on horseback carrying large swords and looking very nasty. Rose stared up at one of them.
One of the villagers called out, “What are you hunting this time m’lord?”
“The unicorn.” shouted one of the men on horseback.
Rose whispered harshly to the Doctor, “Do unicorns really exist?”
“Yes, but like the werewolf they’re not from Earth.” said the Doctor.
“Where are they from?” asked Rose.
“Unicadia, they are an advanced race of horse-like beings that channel they’re mental energy through their horns. And they’re not called unicorns, they’re called: Unicads.” whispered the Doctor, “And they came to Earth as refugees.”
He gave Rose a solemn look, “They’re planet was destroyed by human colonies, the ones on Earth are the last.”
“Let’s go and save them then.” said Rose.
The Doctor grinned wildly and then shouted up at the Lord (whose name was Lord Knightling), “May I and my... um... friend accompany you?”
He nodded, “Give them a horse.”
Someone bought a grey mare over too them. It instantly took a liking to the Doctor and started licking him. The Doctor grinned and then leapt onto the horse. He helped Rose on. They mare flicked her tail like a mad dog.
The Doctor patted her on the neck, “Shush, calm down and stop flicking your tail: it’s very un-horse-like.”
The horse lowered its head as if in recognition. Then they set off.
“You tagged him?” asked Mom admiring her son’s ingenuity.
“Yep, with that new red-hyper-spatial rubbish, it has a rubbish battery.” said Marvin signalling towards the already failing battery.
“Do you want me to fix it for you?” asked Dad clicking his fingers.
“NO! No really, please don’t. Really, don’t.” said Marvin.
The blank screen flashed and then showed the Doctor’s whereabouts. Medieval England, Dartmoor, chasing a group of mad English men wanting to kill a Unicad/Unicorn.
“Now why on Earth is he doing that?” asked Dad.
“Haven’t you heard? He’s the last Time Lord, he has a thirst for saving lives which is where the problem lies.” said Marvin.
The Doctor was very chuffed with himself after fighting off the whole group on his own. Of course, as he always did: receiving a few cuts and bruises along the way. They had saved the Unicad and were now back in the TARDIS.
“Like I said, five minutes!” said Rose pointing at his bruises.
He frowned at her, “I’ve had worse.”
“God are you scared of anything?!” asked Rose rhetorically.
Oddly, the Doctor didn’t reply. Rose looked at him and asked again, “Are you scared of something?!”
He looked up at her, “Yes.”
“What?” asked Rose.
“I’m not gonna tell you: you’ll moan and tease me for... forever!” said the Doctor.
“Your point is?!” she said teasingly.
The Doctor frowned angrily at her. She folded her arms and pretended to sulk.
“How old did you say he was?” asked Mom.
“Umm... roughly one thousand.” said Marvin.
“He doesn’t act his age does he?” said Dad to Mom.
“No, he acts more like a five year old human. Why does he do that?” asked Mom.
Marvin answered simply, “Everyone who’s ever met him wonders exactly the same thing.”
“Even the good guys?”
“Even the good guys.”
The Doctor walked in with a small penguin puppet on his hand. Rose gave it a look of horror.
“Is that yours?” asked Rose, now with a look of horror on her face.
“Yeah, I bought it from this shop a while ago.” he waved it in front of her face, “This is Mr Flibble. He was an evil penguin puppet in an episode of Red Dwarf. Hilarious!”
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“Oh, come on, it’s funny. Look when you press him he says:” the Doctor pressed a button on Mr Flibble.
“Kill! Kill!” squeaked the penguin puppet.
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“It’s not that sad!” said the Doctor, “Is it?”
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“I’ll put it back then.” said the Doctor, beginning to blush slightly.
Rose still had a look of horror on her face.
“That’s quite a cute toy you’ve got to admit.” said Mom in awe.
Marvin whacked his head off the table.
“Did you watch that episode?” asked Dad to Mom.
“The one where the hologram goes mad?” asked Mom.
“Yeah!” said Dad.
Then the pair of them started laughing hysterically. Marvin sighed very loudly and whacked his head off the table, “Could my life get any worse?”
Marvin’s Mom was laughing so much that she fell on the floor and, on her way down, she accidentally pressed a blue button on Marvin’s keyboard. Marvin whacked his head off the table again. The blue button activated the teleport which would bring the Doctor to Marvin. The only reason he didn’t want the Doctor to come at this precise moment was because his parents were there.
The Doctor suddenly hopped into the console room squinting in pain. Rose raised an eyebrow, “What’s sup?”
“There is something on my leg!” said the Doctor hopping around the console room like a mad maniac.
“Sit down!” said Rose waving her hand in the direction of the chair.
The Doctor hopped on it and raised his leg. He pulled up his trouser leg and felt around the back of his calf. There was a bump on the back of his leg. He tried to pull it off.
“It won’t come off!” said the Doctor picking away at it.
“Let’s have a look.” said Rose before examining the back of the Doctor’s leg.
“What is it?” asked the Doctor.
Rose looked at it closely, “A small red bleeping thing.”
“A homing device or a teleport device or maybe, and more likely, both.” said the Doctor who then continued trying to pick it off.
There was a blue flash and Rose, the Doctor and the TARDIS vanished from the time vortex to Marvin’s fortress in a blue teleport.
Marvin quickly pressed a purple button on his keyboard. A gas was released into the room and all the exits were closed with steel bulkheads. The gas was cloudy and it was specifically designed for the Doctor.
The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS, straight into the cloudy gas with Rose close behind him. The Doctor grabbed his throat and started choking on the gas. Tears streamed down his face and he fell to the floor. His coughing became more violent and he saw three pairs of eyes before he lost consciousness.
