h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ready to join up? I just need to know what position you play.

I don't really know much about softball. Can I be the guy in the nearby bar who says "I think they're playing softball" if anyone comes looking for you? Cheers. Make mine a double.

How 'bout I sign you up as "Clubhouse Bartender?"

You mean I have to work?
Oh alright then.
Just come and scrape me off the floor when you've finished playing and I'll get you all a round in. (On the house of course)

I've just noticed it's 4 A.M. here and I've got to be at work by 9!
Excuse me while I find the room that comes with the job.
Can't have me looking haggard on my first day.
See you later

Ok, you are now the barkeep. There is even a link to you on my clubhouse page, which has very little else right now, due to budget problems that have come up during construction of said clubhouse.

Since it is only 10pm here, i think i will hang out on h2g2 for a bit longer.

In the end I woke up at 10.30 AM and played my Today I'm Working At Home card. It's a little like 'Get out of Jail Free' but can only be played a few times a month.
My first duty as barkeep will be to book some bands for the first big meet of the year. As this is virtual I'm gonna have Jimi Hendrix playing guitar and John Lennon on vocals wailing over whatever David Holmes is playing on the decks.
Oh and I've got to get all these damn glasses clean.

I noticed you needed someone to play third base. Now, I'm not a particular fan of softball, but I'm always willing to help out if needed. Or I could just be part of the grounds crew/maintenance. Whatever, boss...

Ok Frustreren, welcome to the team! You are now our groundskeeper. I'm sure John-the-Gardener can lend a hand if you need some help.

Cool... I'm gonna go get out my lawnmower and get to work....

Do you have room for an accountant? Perhaps I can be the accounts physiotherapist and massage the figures!

Please, please, PLEASE can I be the BAR WENCH that helps clean the bar glasses, pretty please??????? I have always wanted to be an official wench as opposed to a plain old regular wench........... Here I will even throw in some faces and a fish......
(me if I don't get the job) 8-(

I think I can be an asset to your team. I have a trophy on my mantlepiece that says: "Geraldton Softball Association June Carnival 1999 Division B: Best Player in Grand Final" Admittedly, I didn't win it, but the girl who did win it had to leave before the trophy presentation, and well, just between you and me, she doesn't need to know, does she?

I can play third base. In fact, I can ONLY play third base, which explains why I've never won a "Most Versatile Player" award. Hell, I even know what a line drive is (on account of nearly breaking my hand on one, when I absent mindedly stuck out the hand WITHOUT the glove on it).

I have a distant memory of hitting the ball once too. That should be helpful should't it?

Ok new team members, time for roll call:

Ginger T.F. - Accountant/Scheduler
Sandwich Maker - Bar Wench/Fish Sandwiches
Natski - Third Base/Estonian Liquor

Welcome! As new members of the softball team, you now have the right to:

1) Drink and mingle with other team members in The Clubhouse
2) Help name the team and the clubhouse

As you can see, joining up does not come with many privilages, but take it for what it is worth. Heck, we may play a game some day.

Joining up also does not come with many PRIVILEGES.

I would love to sign up, put me down as your English to American translator

Me! Me! Me! I guess I could play third base. I mean the thing you step on, not the position.

"You know you're dead...
...when your friends use you for third base."
(an old Saturday Night Live joke [I think])

Ha! That's the best position I've heard yet. Hope you don't mind everyone stepping all over you. Now that you are a team member, there are all sorts of great things you can do, like.....er....well, maybe not. But you can help name the team, visit the clubhouse....er....I don't know.

Sign us up please TV's Frink. Pink can be the mascot perhaps. While I am enjoying my 15 nanoseconds of fame on the front page perhaps I could raise sponsorship and make us all filthy rich?

I believe your apostrophe is in the wrong place. But then I would wouldn't I

Welcome PP&L! Unfortunately, we already have a mascot. So unless it doesn't agree with you, I've signed you up as our animator (for obvious reasons) and psychiatrist (who could be a better psychiatrist than someone with a split personality?!).

Sorry about the misplaced apostrophe....which one were you talking about? The one in TV's Frink? I don't think that one is wrong.....