Vice President of the United States from 1988 to 1992, J. Danforth Quayle is one of the most famous persons ever to publicly debauch the English language. As VP to George H.W. Bush, Quayle was renowned for his apparent lack of intellect, and was mocked in virtually every communiations medium possible. The following quotes are intended to introduce the reader to the things Dan said, and are by no means an attempt to insult the former Vice President. The author remains open to the fact that some of these lines may possibly be out of context. But even so, they are all downright hilarious.

On the Environment

• "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

On History

• "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

On Geography

• "Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."

On Space Travel

• "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
• "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

On Politics

• "This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!"

On Intelligence

• "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."