h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Cigarette Papers - A1078634
Author: KerrAvon- 5 days to go! - U189636

Right, this one came out the FM last week- I've not done a great deal to it- mostly tidying up and adding info. here and there.

What do you lot think?

Ah, so this is it. I love the disclaimer.

A few typos:

Your double quotes should be single ones
Swan, who's background = Swan, whose background
provide there own brand = provide their own brand
more commonly know as = more commonly known as
flax and hemp With a = flax and hemp with a

There should be tags round the first paragraph after the Rizla heading, and there seems to be some inconsistency with your use of capitals for the various paper names. Well, I'm guessing there's no inconsistency in that the names have been reproduced from the packaging, but it does look untidy. Maybe put them all in capitals?

Other than that, jolly good stuff.

B

"A packet of king skins, three kit kats and a mars bar please"

Those were the days...

The weight or thickness para has got a very long sentence in that needs breaking into 2 or 3 sentences.

How about a section on the suitability of the packet for the production of a small card filter for the cigarette, apparently sometimes referred to in drug taking circles as a 'roach'?

Sprout

Argh! In my defence, thsoe typos are left fromthe original- I thought I'd weeded them all out

Good idea Sprout- I'll get on to all these suggestions shortly

'weeded them all out'



Your puns won't work on me. I'm far too thick-skinned.

B

Hey, girl's gotta try

Once you're on a roll, over all...

Right- I've looked at everything except roach suitablity- that'll have to wait 'till this evening- I am supposed to be at work!

Instead of, all caps, I've gone for just capitalisation at the begining of words, except where the brand's name is intials.

Information on filters and roaches added

Sprout

No problem. Any other suggestions people?

thier - their

"The thinest papers in the Rizla range are blue- these papers are very fine, and produce very little ash. The blue colour is often copied as a guide to paper thickness, the only papers thought to be thinner than these is the dutch/french make OCB which is white. The next thickness Rizla line is red and green which are the same weight. These two lines are the cause of many discussions as to whether they have the same glue type."

To be perfectly honest I think that most of this paragraph could be taken care of in the section further down about the Rizla brand, but if you want to keep it in, here are some suggestions:

thinest - thinnest

Are the papers themselves blue? I know that they're not, but anyone who hasn't seen one will think so from the way that's written. And I know that further down you say that the only difference between Rizla Red and Green is the packaging, but at this point it's not clear that 'blue' also refers to the colour of the packet. Perhaps you could start off this paragraph by mentioning that Rizla papers are delineated by packaging colour.

It might also be worth mentioning somewhere in the entry that 'Rizla' has become a common name for cigarette paper, the way that Hoover has become a name for vacuum cleaners, or Thermos for vacuum flasks.

What do you mean by "The blue colour is often copied"? Copied in what way and by whom?

"the only papers thought to be thinner than these is the dutch/french make OCB which is white."
'thinner than these are the Dutch/French brand OCB'

And what's 'white' about them - the papers or the packaging?

"Rizla line" and then "These two lines"
I don't think the word 'line' works very well there... how about 'product(s)'?

"The next thickness Rizla line is red and green which are the same weight."
Perhaps 'Rizla Red and Rizla Green are thicker than Blue, although they are the same thickness as each other.' That still doesn't sound right, but it's the best I can come up with before breakfast, and as I said earlier, I think this information would be better in the section about Rizlas anyway - your bulleted list could begin with the thinnest (blue), and work up in thickness.

Speaking of which...

I think that the part of the entry dealing with brands needs more consistency. I wouldn't give Rizla their own header if all the others only have subheaders, but I would describe them first, being the most well known. And you currently have Swan's within the Rizla header - it makes it look as if Swan's are part of the Rizla brand.

Time for brekkers I reckon

Gosho- I'll get on top this lot ASAP.

Try that

Looks much better now

Since you've mentioned 'Club' twice in descriptive parts of the entry, it would be good to include in the brands, especially saying "Rizla Blue and Club" makes it sound as if it's a type of Rizla paper.


Scout

Oops, I thought I had that'll have to wait 'till this evening- I'll need to check the info for it, and I don't think work's access includes fag paper sites

Scout

Done

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Well done.

Chalk up another one for the Scavengers.

B

Well done!

Well done