TOAST
Created | Updated Jun 7, 2003
<HEADER>TOAST!</HEADER>
<SUBHEADER>A BRIEF INTRODUCTION</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
TOAST! toast, tost, tooooaaaassssst. no matter how you say it, it always sounds good, the universal foodstuff, easy to make, cheap, accsessable, and accepted by most major religions. it is the bringer of piece, the flavour of the millenia, it has a place all of its own in the hearts of this planet. but how do you enjoy it? do any technical terms for it exist? and why does it always land butter side down? the short answer is i don't know, but i have made it my lifes work to find out.</P>
<SUBHEADER>TECHNICAL TERMS</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
what is the fluffy white bit in the centre called? do any names for the crust exist that better differentiate toast crust from bread crust? what is the difference between french toast and toasted french bread? well, if you know, let me know, and i will empart the knowlage to the toast eating world.</P>
<SUBHEADER>HOW DO YOU EAT YOURS?</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
i like mine with slightly salted butter, lots of slightly alted butter, and hot, realy hot. but how do you eat yours, and is it true that watching someone eat toast is a window to thier soul, an incite into their phychie, a look into their subconcious self? once again, let me know, and i will share the wealth.</P>
<SUBHEADER>HOW TO PREPARE TOAST</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
tradition dictates that toast in great britton is a slice of bread, cooked untill golden brown in a device, cunningly enough known as a toaster. a toaster is essentialy a long thin hole with a net of high resistance wires running along the large sides. these, when a high currnt is passed through, heat up, cooking the toast to perfection. however, there is more than one way to toast the bread. you could use a grill, you could use an open fire, or even fry the bread (altho this is offen reffered to as fryed bread, it is seen by many leading experts as a form of toast). this bread is then butered on one side, to the recipicants preference, and can be seasoned with jam, or marmalade (orange jam), or sometimes,(altho frowned upon in orthodox circles) any other spreadable fodder.
tradition when on camp, under heavy sedation from alcholic beverages, is to cook the toast over the biggest fire that can be made from trhe natural, unatural, and offen privatley owned resourses, not untill it is a golden brown, but untill it is black as black can be, right the way through, and falls apart if you so much as break wind neer it, (a large risk whilst under the influence of varius alcholic beverages). the burn, if it isn't all burn, can then be scraped off, at the risk of bieng called a jessy, or it is comonly eaten with burn. (NB burn is believed to be a carsinogen {causes cancer}, so you have been warned!).
another alternative, which i am lead to believe is called french toast, (correct me if i'm wrong), is cooked untill it is golden brown, then, sliced in half, along the plain of the largest area, to reveal the white fluff inside (the best bit), and then put back in for about a minuit. the result is a realy crunchie, crisp, ofen curved slice of toast. nice with loads of rich creamery butter piled up on top. but it is extreamly crumby, (that is it leaves crumbs everywhere) and dropps apart at the mearest suggestion of force. YET AGAIN, let me know about other traditions/ cultures/ clans.</P>
<SUBHEADER>WHY DOES TOAST ALWAYS LAND BUTTERSIDE DOWN? AND OTHER POSERS</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
the university of hull did look into this, but the resuls where inconclusive. i believe they used a mechanicla "flipper" to get a perfect, repetable force exerted on the toast. if you have any farther information, or any other toast related questions, you know whats comeing(sighs) let me know.
THAT IS ALL</P>
<SUBHEADER>A BRIEF INTRODUCTION</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
TOAST! toast, tost, tooooaaaassssst. no matter how you say it, it always sounds good, the universal foodstuff, easy to make, cheap, accsessable, and accepted by most major religions. it is the bringer of piece, the flavour of the millenia, it has a place all of its own in the hearts of this planet. but how do you enjoy it? do any technical terms for it exist? and why does it always land butter side down? the short answer is i don't know, but i have made it my lifes work to find out.</P>
<SUBHEADER>TECHNICAL TERMS</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
what is the fluffy white bit in the centre called? do any names for the crust exist that better differentiate toast crust from bread crust? what is the difference between french toast and toasted french bread? well, if you know, let me know, and i will empart the knowlage to the toast eating world.</P>
<SUBHEADER>HOW DO YOU EAT YOURS?</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
i like mine with slightly salted butter, lots of slightly alted butter, and hot, realy hot. but how do you eat yours, and is it true that watching someone eat toast is a window to thier soul, an incite into their phychie, a look into their subconcious self? once again, let me know, and i will share the wealth.</P>
<SUBHEADER>HOW TO PREPARE TOAST</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
tradition dictates that toast in great britton is a slice of bread, cooked untill golden brown in a device, cunningly enough known as a toaster. a toaster is essentialy a long thin hole with a net of high resistance wires running along the large sides. these, when a high currnt is passed through, heat up, cooking the toast to perfection. however, there is more than one way to toast the bread. you could use a grill, you could use an open fire, or even fry the bread (altho this is offen reffered to as fryed bread, it is seen by many leading experts as a form of toast). this bread is then butered on one side, to the recipicants preference, and can be seasoned with jam, or marmalade (orange jam), or sometimes,(altho frowned upon in orthodox circles) any other spreadable fodder.
tradition when on camp, under heavy sedation from alcholic beverages, is to cook the toast over the biggest fire that can be made from trhe natural, unatural, and offen privatley owned resourses, not untill it is a golden brown, but untill it is black as black can be, right the way through, and falls apart if you so much as break wind neer it, (a large risk whilst under the influence of varius alcholic beverages). the burn, if it isn't all burn, can then be scraped off, at the risk of bieng called a jessy, or it is comonly eaten with burn. (NB burn is believed to be a carsinogen {causes cancer}, so you have been warned!).
another alternative, which i am lead to believe is called french toast, (correct me if i'm wrong), is cooked untill it is golden brown, then, sliced in half, along the plain of the largest area, to reveal the white fluff inside (the best bit), and then put back in for about a minuit. the result is a realy crunchie, crisp, ofen curved slice of toast. nice with loads of rich creamery butter piled up on top. but it is extreamly crumby, (that is it leaves crumbs everywhere) and dropps apart at the mearest suggestion of force. YET AGAIN, let me know about other traditions/ cultures/ clans.</P>
<SUBHEADER>WHY DOES TOAST ALWAYS LAND BUTTERSIDE DOWN? AND OTHER POSERS</SUBHEADER>
<P ALIGN="CENTER">
the university of hull did look into this, but the resuls where inconclusive. i believe they used a mechanicla "flipper" to get a perfect, repetable force exerted on the toast. if you have any farther information, or any other toast related questions, you know whats comeing(sighs) let me know.
THAT IS ALL</P>
