On The Subject Of Capitalization
Created | Updated May 25, 2003
When dealing with capitalization in one's writing, certain rules and orders must be followed to prevent discord and troubles from whence they came. These include: Ad HOc CaPITaLIzation, AlTeRnAtInG cApItAlIzAtIoN, CAPS LOCK STYLE CAPITALIZTION, and capital abolishment. More to come on monkeys later, I assure you. On the subject of capitalization, one must be very discriminating, specifically in titles of things, such as books, like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or movies, such as Y Tu Mama Tambien (which I'm sure you'll all be glad to know I ripped in half tonight, in honor of the lives of all those boundless hitchhikers who have lost their lives trying to understand it's depth), or even plays, like, um, well I don't really know too many plays, so I'll just skip that part, it isn't too important I assure you, people talk in plays, you don't read...
With regards to ad hoc capitalization, this should under most circumstances be avoided. It can cause great annoyance to any reading it, and even confusion, most only in the case of the I and l. Though a clear font will fix this problem, it should still be avoided, because if it isn't, you'll be smacked with a very big stick, the kind President Teddy Rosevelt carried around during all his soft speaking. You'll see through the very nature of ad hoc capitalization, that it has no real basis in any literal sense, unless you're conveying the speech of some odd person, with a very understandable disease, but you won't be, so don't even worry about it.
For alternating capitalization, try shoving something white-hot in a place where you find it would hurt you most. But you shouldn't, under any pretense, alternate your capitalization. If you do, than you will be severely punished by a force so great you will wish you had only been punished by a great force. It is not that you just can't use alternating capitalization, just that if you do, someone will perhaps at some time, and perhaps not for that reason or anything relating to it, hunt you down and kill you very meanly. Here here!
In opposition to caps lock style capitalization, I tell you that if you do it, a very naughty thing will befall your life, unless of course you for some reason have accidentally turned caps lock on, otherwise I'll get very angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Just see, make me angry, use caps lock, see how angry I get, betcha won't do it (well you probably will, just to see if I get angry, but this is simply for demonstrative purposes, no real anger is involved).
As the last of the greatest capitalization troubles, the abstaining from capitalizing anything exists. It simply hurts me very greatly to see i and adam when people type things at me, so deeply that I might, oh darn, I said it hurts me greatly, not deeply, well there goes my endless charade. Well you should capitalize things like proper nouns, the pesky acception of personal pronoun capitalization that is I, and anything else you might want, so long as you don't break any of the other capitalizational thingies. Hurrah!
This is in conclusion to capitals, because as it's quarter until six in the morning, and I'm quite hungry, I should just be stopping these such things. I would type more, but you know, I just kind of began the capital campaign on a whim and did this small article in fifteen minutes or so. It isn't really worth it to me.
With regards to ad hoc capitalization, this should under most circumstances be avoided. It can cause great annoyance to any reading it, and even confusion, most only in the case of the I and l. Though a clear font will fix this problem, it should still be avoided, because if it isn't, you'll be smacked with a very big stick, the kind President Teddy Rosevelt carried around during all his soft speaking. You'll see through the very nature of ad hoc capitalization, that it has no real basis in any literal sense, unless you're conveying the speech of some odd person, with a very understandable disease, but you won't be, so don't even worry about it.
For alternating capitalization, try shoving something white-hot in a place where you find it would hurt you most. But you shouldn't, under any pretense, alternate your capitalization. If you do, than you will be severely punished by a force so great you will wish you had only been punished by a great force. It is not that you just can't use alternating capitalization, just that if you do, someone will perhaps at some time, and perhaps not for that reason or anything relating to it, hunt you down and kill you very meanly. Here here!
In opposition to caps lock style capitalization, I tell you that if you do it, a very naughty thing will befall your life, unless of course you for some reason have accidentally turned caps lock on, otherwise I'll get very angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Just see, make me angry, use caps lock, see how angry I get, betcha won't do it (well you probably will, just to see if I get angry, but this is simply for demonstrative purposes, no real anger is involved).
As the last of the greatest capitalization troubles, the abstaining from capitalizing anything exists. It simply hurts me very greatly to see i and adam when people type things at me, so deeply that I might, oh darn, I said it hurts me greatly, not deeply, well there goes my endless charade. Well you should capitalize things like proper nouns, the pesky acception of personal pronoun capitalization that is I, and anything else you might want, so long as you don't break any of the other capitalizational thingies. Hurrah!
This is in conclusion to capitals, because as it's quarter until six in the morning, and I'm quite hungry, I should just be stopping these such things. I would type more, but you know, I just kind of began the capital campaign on a whim and did this small article in fifteen minutes or so. It isn't really worth it to me.
