Twunt:- Noun - {not found in dictionary}

There are many good, kind and thoughtful people in the world; people who think about the consequences of their actions and want to be the best they can be; who work hard, accept new challenges and show awareness of and consideration for those around them. Unfortunately, for each one of these people there is a twunt, and probably more than one.

The person who repeatedly parks their supermarket trolley in such a way as to block the entire aisle whilst they pick up sachets of ready-made pancake batter¹ ...the person at work who still insists on using the typewriter... the bloke in the pub who claims that he's no good at maths yet can calculate betting odds and darts scores in his head...the middle-aged luddite who is proud of their inability to use a mobile phone or DVD; all of these and more are examples of twunts.

Trying to define a twunt

To tie down a strict definition of "Twunt" is difficult. The optimist will look at a glass and say it's half full; the pessimist will say it's half empty; the twunt will wander past obliviously, knock the glass over and then say that you shouldn't have left it there in the first place. Twunts aren't necessarily stupid, but they often take pride in their ignorance. They aren't necessarily nasty, just painfully unaware of their environment². A sage once said "Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men". Twunts love the rules and the status quo, and a classic twunt trait is to argue "But that's how we've always done it" in the face of any change.

Q:- But what differentiates the twunt from people who are genuinely disadvantaged and have difficulty coping?

A:- Potential. A twunt could be so much more than they are; they could learn to program the VCR or watch where they push the pram. They could come to appreciate that there's no qualitative difference between Star Trek's Jean-Luc Picard and Coronation Street's Ken Barlow.³ (⁴) Twunts can generate much frustration in the thinking people who have to deal with them.

Creation of the modern-day twunt

At it's most simple, "twunt" is the construct of a fairly hubristic and misanthropic H2G2 researcher, but there are objective realities to consider.

The British Broadcasting Corporation, to take one example, has been repeatedly accused of "dumbing down" its standards to generate ratings. But it works.

Celebrities are paid exorbitant amounts to advertise products when objective comparisons might be more beneficial to the consumer. But it works.

Deep and "worthy" programming has audience figures down in the tens of thousands, as opposed to the tens of millions for the latest reality TV fad.

Viewers WANT the unartistic tat, they RESPOND to the crass advertising, they buy "The Sun"⁵. The unthinking acceptance by twunts has, among other things, reduced popular arts to the 3 minute dolly-chick pop video.

Dear reader, whatever you do in life, please don't be a twunt. It would be this researcher's saddest day if "Twunt" ever needed to appear in the Concise Oxford.