From: Organcheese Academicals

To: The Football Association, Soho

4 May 2003

Dear FA,

Treaty of Rome

Your letter ref. SLD/IDEAGEN/31.3 dated 17 April 2001 refers.

I question the logic of the sentiments contained therein, to wit:

"With regards to the national team, and your concerns that there could soon be European players in the England team, this would not happen."

The implication is that you do not regard English players as European. I trust that this is syntactical oversight, and that you are happy that an England XI is in fact truly European.

"To play for your country is not a job as such with a contract and a wage."

Despite appearances to the contrary in certain England performances over the years, I find it hard to believe that players are not paid to represent the national side, as you seemingly imply. Indeed, my father-in-law, who claims somewhat spuriously both to have taught Elvis to play guitar and to have once had a trial for West Ham, assures me that England players most certainly do get paid, and handsomely to boot, as it were. If so, your statement is at best somewhat misleading. Certainly English cricket players receive lucrative contracts to play for England, as has been evidenced by the recent media attention given to contracts between both James Anderson and Steve Harmison and the England And Wales Cricket Board. It would hold then, that any EU-citizen would have the right to play cricket for England, apparently regardless of ability too.

"Players are chosen to represent their country, it is an honour and you would have to be English to be considered to play for your country."

Notwithstanding your aspersions on anyone's own national qualifications, common-sense dictates that your statement is, in principle, correct. However, this does smack of discrimination against fellow European citizens, which, I suggest, may be in contravention of European law, specifically The Treaty of Rome.

I again request you to give this matter some serious consideration in order that you don't have another Bosmanesque scenario on your hands.

I shall be looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Dr Montague Trout

Manager, Organcheese Academicals