Captain Cook
Created | Updated Apr 17, 2003
Blackadder Series 4, episode 1: Captain Cook
The Plot:
General Melchett is on the lookout for a talented artist who can do an especially stirring painting for the cover of King and Country magazine, a publication which George calls ‘damn inspiring stuff’ and Blackadder calls ‘soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent’. George produces a picture of genius, but Blackadder passes it off as his own, believing that Melchett will send the successful artist to Paris and away from the trenches. However, Melchett’s secret plan is in fact to make Blackadder go into No Man’s Land and sketch what he sees. Melchett is not at all put off by the resulting work of art (complete with elephants) and orders the boys to go over the top anyway. They weasel out of certain death by posing as a trio of wandering Italian chefs.
Tally ho, pip pip!
George on education: When I was at school, education could go hang. As long as a boy could hit a six, sing the school song very loud and take hot crumpet from behind without blubbing.
Insult of the week:
Blackadder: Your brain’s so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
Baldrick’s cooking:
Blackadder: I smell something fishy, and I’m not talking about the contents of Baldrick’s apple crumble.
War’s a horrid thing. Ding a ling a ling:
The troops are about to go over the top, or, as Blackadder more accurately puts it, “Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches close to Berlin.”
Quotes:
Blackadder: I know from long experience all my men have the artistic talent of a cluster of colour-blind hedgehogs in a bag.
George: I’m absolutely top-hole, sir, with a ying and yang and yippiedeedoo.
Blackadder (to Baldrick): If you were to serve up one of your meals in Staff HQ, you would be arrested for the greatest mass poisoning since Lucretia Borgia invited 500 of her close friends round for a wine and anthrax party.
Read the other episode guides:
Series 1:
1. The Foretelling
2. Born to Be King
3. The Archbishop
4. The Queen of Spain's Beard
5. Witchsmeller Pursuivant
6. The Black Seal
Series 2:
1. Bells
2. Head
3. Potato
4. Money
5. Beer
6. Chains
Series 3:
1. Dish and Dishonesty
2. Ink and Incapability
3. Nob and Nobility
4. Sense and Senility
5. Amy and Amiability
6. Dual and Duality
Series 4:
1. Captain Cook
2. Corporal Punishment
3. Major Star
4. Private Plane
5. General Hospital
6. Goodybyeee
These guides were brought to you by the BBCi Comedy website.
The Plot:
General Melchett is on the lookout for a talented artist who can do an especially stirring painting for the cover of King and Country magazine, a publication which George calls ‘damn inspiring stuff’ and Blackadder calls ‘soft, strong and thoroughly absorbent’. George produces a picture of genius, but Blackadder passes it off as his own, believing that Melchett will send the successful artist to Paris and away from the trenches. However, Melchett’s secret plan is in fact to make Blackadder go into No Man’s Land and sketch what he sees. Melchett is not at all put off by the resulting work of art (complete with elephants) and orders the boys to go over the top anyway. They weasel out of certain death by posing as a trio of wandering Italian chefs.
Tally ho, pip pip!
George on education: When I was at school, education could go hang. As long as a boy could hit a six, sing the school song very loud and take hot crumpet from behind without blubbing.
Insult of the week:
Blackadder: Your brain’s so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
Baldrick’s cooking:
Blackadder: I smell something fishy, and I’m not talking about the contents of Baldrick’s apple crumble.
War’s a horrid thing. Ding a ling a ling:
The troops are about to go over the top, or, as Blackadder more accurately puts it, “Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches close to Berlin.”
Quotes:
Blackadder: I know from long experience all my men have the artistic talent of a cluster of colour-blind hedgehogs in a bag.
George: I’m absolutely top-hole, sir, with a ying and yang and yippiedeedoo.
Blackadder (to Baldrick): If you were to serve up one of your meals in Staff HQ, you would be arrested for the greatest mass poisoning since Lucretia Borgia invited 500 of her close friends round for a wine and anthrax party.
Read the other episode guides:
Series 1:
1. The Foretelling
2. Born to Be King
3. The Archbishop
4. The Queen of Spain's Beard
5. Witchsmeller Pursuivant
6. The Black Seal
Series 2:
1. Bells
2. Head
3. Potato
4. Money
5. Beer
6. Chains
Series 3:
1. Dish and Dishonesty
2. Ink and Incapability
3. Nob and Nobility
4. Sense and Senility
5. Amy and Amiability
6. Dual and Duality
Series 4:
1. Captain Cook
2. Corporal Punishment
3. Major Star
4. Private Plane
5. General Hospital
6. Goodybyeee
These guides were brought to you by the BBCi Comedy website.
