Background

Deep in darkest Manchester a beer is brewed. Not the famous Boddingtons Bitter, no, this is a local beverage, an acquired taste. The infamous lagers of the Joseph Holt Manchester Ales.

There are two such lagers of differing prices. The first, Crystal is the weaker and cheaper of the two, weighing in at 3.5% abv and costing around £1.30 per pint. It's taste has been described as a cross between watery urine and, well, more watery urine. The second, the prestige pint that is Diamond is a hefty 5% abv and costs a staggering £1.55! This is stronger and slightly more palatable and tastes like a mix of watery urine and grapefruit juice mixed in with some half decent lager. Unless you are very poor drink Diamond, in fact too poor to be looking at this entry because you can't afford a PC must you be to even consider drinking Crystal. Unless like me you prefer it.

Drinking Suggestions

The best way to drink a pint of Holt's is to get the pint glass, and drink "round the curve" in the glass. By the time you've reached the curve you will (hopefully) be inured to the taste and be able to drink the rest of the pint without problems.

On a crawl, Holt's should always be a first pint, never a pint in a second pub. This is because it has the effect of making all other lagers taste like divine ambrosia whereas other lagers have the effect of making Holt's lager taste like urine.

Pubs

Holt's is a unique taste and should be tried at least once by anyone visiting Manchester. My top three Holt's pubs are:

#3 The Park Inn, Worsley Road, Swinton. It once had a karaoke and something approaching atmosphere!

#2 The Crown and Anchor, the Triangle (near M&S), Central Manchester. If you are planning a crawl, start here. There's a Madness CD in the jukebox!

#1 The Cricketers Arms, Manchester Road, Swinton. The ultimate Holt's pub. Nicotine stained walls, decrepit speakers and a collection of 3 CD's (all scratched), a floor half an inch thick in cigarette ash. Just remember to avoid contact with the locals (especially the students in the corner!) and wipe your feet on the way out. Just don't let the landlord see you!

The Spaced Out Guide Menu System