How to Burn Food
Created | Updated Mar 20, 2003
Ok lets get right down to business.
Oh what would that be sleeping again?
Can’t you see I'm trying to entertain these people on my gifted abilities? and you keep on interrupting me If You keep on acting up I’m telling mom, I said with a convincing look on my face.
My Inspiration
My big brother walked out the room repeating what I had just said. Ok where was I at. Ok first I’m going to give you a brief history on how I learned how to burn food. I was a natural, became gifted at an early age you might say. I just so happened to walk in the kitchen when my father was cooking Christmas dinner. Oh it was a bet smoky. The smell was unbearable. I didn’t ask questions, just sat right down and studied this new art my father had invented. What I had notice was this, the cooking book remained on the shelf, he was talking on the cell phone, flipping through a basketball game and a football game. He never looked at the food that was being cooked. Well you might say over cooked. But anyway I said, If Dad can do it I Can Too. So here I am today me the teacher, teaching you guys on how to burn food.
What to do
Here I go watch me carefully. First get your favorite food out of the refrigerator. I’m going to choose this bacon. Now this is a big pack of bacon put who really cares. Now I’m going to get some cooking oil. Who knows how much? Who cares I my self usually poor until I think its good to stop. So here I am pouring all around the pan. Ok that's good. Now its time to turn the heat up. How high should I turn this heat up? Who cares. High sounds good. The faster it cooks the faster I can eat, and the faster it burns. That was the easy part. Oh I must have forgot, who knows how long I should cook this bacon for? Who cares. Until I say its done. Now its time for that TV to come on. I herd there was a good football game today It just started at 1:00. Now lets leave this kitchen and watch this game. 21 21 at the half this is a good game. Wups its about 2:30. I forgot about the bacon. Lets hid back in. As you can see it is smoky in here, and the smell is unbearable. These are all good signs. Now lets see how the bacon looks. Wow would you look at that. Black and crispy. That's what I’m talking bout. Looks like potato chips.
Brandon! Why does the kitchen look like this, I thought your father was in here, and why are all his friends sitting around watching you?
Oh mom I was just teaching them how to burn food.
Brandon these men already know how to do that, I was just on the phone with Henry’s wife.
Oh that remains me did she mention anything about the grass being cut? Henry said in innocent manner.
