On Instruction Manuals
Created | Updated Nov 28, 2002
Instruction manuals, the bane of human existance, and what we could not do without. Most of the time that is. Personally, I never read instruction manuals until the day I'm very bored/am sitting on a couch doing nothing/both of the above. Actually, thats what I normally to do most printed matter when I'm very bored/am sitting on a couch doing nothing/both of the above.
The point is, instruction manuals have utterly no meaning whatsoever until a)you are totally fustrated with whatever the manual came with or b)you can be bother to mess with the the item, then a), c)your brother/spouse/dad/electrician has been through a), or d)you are very bored.
Manuals mainly come rectangular shaped, sealed in impossible-to-open plastic packages stuffed in a indescreet corner of whatever whatever the instruction manual came with(to be henceforth referred to as WTIMCW). They are normally made of thin, white recycled paper that tear immediately on contact, and printed in cheap, black, noxious ink.
The instruction manual serves many purposes, one of which is to aid the user to successfully(in this case, meaning no loss of life or sanity) construct WTIMCW. This, sadly, can hardly be done without the sacred manual. This is usually realised superceding the phrase "Oops." or "Oh ****" or "I don't think it's supposed to look like that" or a mighty crash that signifies the rendering of WTIMCW useless.
Instruction manuals could also come with a computer programme/game/software that serves entirely no purpouse. Basically, in the case of the computer game, I methodically explains how the game works, how to play it, how to change the controls, how to turn to sound all the way up to be played conviniently at midnight, how to twiddle with the game until a bluescreen appears and so on. Not that a kid would bother to read it, for that matter, at all. They are probably to be unearthed 4 years later by the 'kid'. Thus begins the process of discovery. "Oh cool! I didn't know you could do that!" and such. By that time, the disc bearing the game without which would otherwise not be able to start would have be lost.
Many people lament the lack of instruction manuals for pets/children/cardboard boxes. You have to go on a journey that is teadious and wearisome just to find out how to deal with them. There is a simple explanation in this, drawn from the comic strip 'Calvin and Hobbes', "Doing things that you hate builds character".
The point is, instruction manuals have utterly no meaning whatsoever until a)you are totally fustrated with whatever the manual came with or b)you can be bother to mess with the the item, then a), c)your brother/spouse/dad/electrician has been through a), or d)you are very bored.
Manuals mainly come rectangular shaped, sealed in impossible-to-open plastic packages stuffed in a indescreet corner of whatever whatever the instruction manual came with(to be henceforth referred to as WTIMCW). They are normally made of thin, white recycled paper that tear immediately on contact, and printed in cheap, black, noxious ink.
The instruction manual serves many purposes, one of which is to aid the user to successfully(in this case, meaning no loss of life or sanity) construct WTIMCW. This, sadly, can hardly be done without the sacred manual. This is usually realised superceding the phrase "Oops." or "Oh ****" or "I don't think it's supposed to look like that" or a mighty crash that signifies the rendering of WTIMCW useless.
Instruction manuals could also come with a computer programme/game/software that serves entirely no purpouse. Basically, in the case of the computer game, I methodically explains how the game works, how to play it, how to change the controls, how to turn to sound all the way up to be played conviniently at midnight, how to twiddle with the game until a bluescreen appears and so on. Not that a kid would bother to read it, for that matter, at all. They are probably to be unearthed 4 years later by the 'kid'. Thus begins the process of discovery. "Oh cool! I didn't know you could do that!" and such. By that time, the disc bearing the game without which would otherwise not be able to start would have be lost.
Many people lament the lack of instruction manuals for pets/children/cardboard boxes. You have to go on a journey that is teadious and wearisome just to find out how to deal with them. There is a simple explanation in this, drawn from the comic strip 'Calvin and Hobbes', "Doing things that you hate builds character".
