Chapter 4: The Reading of the Charges

Before involving Eddy, her little brother, Ava decided it was imperative that she found out what humanity was being charged with. Taking the remains of the "envelope" out of the bottom drawer with some tweezers borrowed from Mom's vanity drawer, she put it on a PVC placemat with ducks printed on it (to protect her desk). Peeking inside, she didn't see any additional paperwork that could contain the charges. Disappointed, Ava threw herself on her bed, causing some massive twangs from the mattress springs and a lingering chorus of boings in the outer regions.

After some thought she sat up and lifted her pillow. To her dismay this only revealed some rubbery threads of slug slime that tried to pull her pillow back down with yet another twanging sound. "Better leave that for Mom to take care of," Ava mumbled while forcefully propelling her head into the pillow again, creating a rough star-shape of expelled slime.
Looking at the dreaded envelope from the safety of her bed, Ava's eye caught a word on the outside of the envelope.

"Immortality"

With one mighty all-arms-and-legs attempt of a ninja jump, Ava crashed her bed backwards into the wall and knocked over the waste bin that happened to be in her path to her desk, rocketing empty crisp packets and banana peels in each and every direction, except for the old pendant lamp that would look so much prettier with a banana peel dangling from it. Darn it!

Once recovered, closer inspection of the actual envelope showed that it was not made out of just any one old newspaper, but consisted of a collage of several different articles.

Picking up the tweezers again and with the other hand stuck in an empty crisp wrapper for protection, Ava started to painstakingly take the collage apart, sticking the articles to her desk in neat rows. Once finished, a short trip to the kitchen yielded a roll of transparent biodegradable cling foil to cover the result.
Ava wondered what overall message (if any) was meant to be conveyed by the seemingly random collection of articles. With her father's large half-sphere magnifying glass (normally used for his ancient stamp collection), she scanned the headlines for clues.

"Key to immortality found?"

"Space exploration budget hike approved!"

"Protected status of certain mosses lifted"

"Nobel peace prize for Dictator solving overpopulation?"

"Councillor resigned with extreme prejudice over Eden Drive roundabout planning setback"

"COVID-24 chocolate-borne vaccine from Malta works a treat against Thau-Beta 5.7 strain."

"2025: China still in lockdown"

How will the prospect of immortality ever fit within the confines of our overpopulated planet? It will probably only work for whoever can afford it… That's not fair. On the other hand, fair is not a natural principle… Is that biodegradable foil supposed to be smoking on the edges? Maybe they overdid the biodegradability component a bit?

Ava was pulled from her reveries by mother's incessant yanking of the cowbells suspended at the bottom of the stairs to indicate it really was time for school now.

Oh well…

Walking to the front porch, Ava couldn't help noticing the hand-sized canine footprints crossing the lawn to right below her bedroom window. Dirt and scratches were on the wall. There were no return prints.

Caiman Raptor Elk