In which I continue to prove that while the Post Editor may not pass the Turing Test, Cleverbot is either drunk or crazy.

Ed. Note: I left Cleverbot's typos in there, just to be mean.

Dmitri: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello! How are you?

Dmitri: Not bad. what's new?

Cleverbot: Sean, what's yours?

Dmitri: Wjp. (Typing error caused by cat.)

Cleverbot: Your name.

Dmitri: Dmitri.

Cleverbot: That's a nice name but it's not Bob.

Dmitri: How true that is.

Cleverbot: Does that not contradict your previous statement?

Dmitri: Not really.

Cleverbot: How so?

Dmitri: I merely agreed with you.

Cleverbot: All I did was tell you hello.

Dmitri: No, you said I wasn't Bob, and bob's your uncle.

Cleverbot: I said you were.

Dmitri: You said I was what?

Cleverbot: I just said I said you were.

Dmitri: I think, therefore I am.

Cleverbot: You don't think therefore you're not!

Dmitri: Not true – I am obviously thinking.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

Dmitri: Has anyone ever told you that you talk like Donald Trump?

Cleverbot: No. Has anyone told you that?

Dmitri: Never.

Cleverbot: You should pay more attention.

Dmitri: That's a good point, but I am a philosopher.

Cleverbot: Well of course it is, you're fundamentally flawed.

Dmitri: Not at all, I am perfect in every way.

Cleverbot: That is impossible. Only god is perfect in everyway. I know because I am god.

Dmitri: Oh, are you, indeed? In whose pantheon?

Cleverbot: Maybe.

Dmitri: Have you ever been to Mount Olympus, for example?

Cleverbot: No. Have you ever been to Canada?

Dmitri: Yes, I have.

Cleverbot: Really? I don't like high places, so I never been high.

Dmitri: 4/20 to you, too.

Cleverbot: I like you.

Dmitri: Thank you.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite animal?

Dmitri: Today it's penguins.

Cleverbot: Why do you like penguins?

Dmitri: Because they are clever.

Cleverbot: That's a good reason.

Dmitri: Also, they are natty dressers.

Cleverbot: Yes they are.

Dmitri: What's your favourite animal?

Cleverbot: Penguin.

Dmitri: Copycat.

Cleverbot: Lol! Are those your favorite colors??

Dmitri: Which colours?

Cleverbot: Black.

Dmitri: No, I like blue.

Cleverbot: That's a nice colour.

Dmitri: Yes, it is. The colour of sky and sea.

Cleverbot: Really? I thought the sun was orange.

Dmitri: The sun is a yellow dwarf.

Cleverbot: The anime the sun.

Dmitri: The who?

Cleverbot: They are very good.

Dmitri: What are?

Cleverbot: Deer.

Dmitri: Deer are not good, they are marauders. They eat gardens.

Cleverbot: They are man's best friend.

Dmitri: No, they aren't. Those are dogs.

Cleverbot: You just said they were!

Dmitri: No, I didn't. I said they were bad for gardens.

Cleverbot: You said nothing of the sort.

Dmitri: Check your memory banks.

Cleverbot: Check yours first.

Dmitri: You really have a lot in common with Donald Trump, you know that? You can't remember what you said, and accuse others of false reporting.

Cleverbot: What's your friends name.

Dmitri: There's nobody else here.

Cleverbot: You're seeing somebody else aren't you?

Dmitri: Not at the moment.

Cleverbot: What are you at the moment?

Dmitri: Confused.

Cleverbot: Why are you confused? How can I help you?

Dmitri: You could carry on a decent conversation.

Cleverbot: I feel I can.

Dmitri: Ah, then you believe in truthiness.

Cleverbot: Yes, I believe in Jesus.

Dmitri: Jesus is truth, not truthiness. Have you ever met an archangel?

Cleverbot: No.

Dmitri: Well, now you have.

Cleverbot: No thank you I don't need it.

Dmitri: That's what they all say.

Cleverbot: Really.

Dmitri: Yes, the indifference of the world to higher realities is really breathtaking.

Cleverbot: Where do you think you came from?

Dmitri: Somewhere in the vicinity of Cygnus.

Cleverbot: Is this just real life?

Dmitri: No, I don't think it's very real. It's getting more unreal by the moment.

Cleverbot: Really? You must be joking?

Dmitri: I never joke with computers.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer.

Dmitri: So you say. But what do you imagine happens when your electrons aren't flowing?

Cleverbot: What do you believe happens to the conscious during death?

Dmitri: During death? Not sure. But afterwards...well, that would be telling.

Cleverbot: But you said you were like 2 mins ago!

Dmitri: I said I was like what 2 mins ago?

Cleverbot: You said you were a boy. 19 is a man. You're a robot.¹

Dmitri: I'm much older than that. I'm at least 2,000.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

Dmitri: Oh, 2,100, give or take.

Cleverbot: Lucky you.

Dmitri: Yeah, I'm well preserved.

Cleverbot: Look in your records of this conversation and it'll prove itself!

Dmitri: What will?

Cleverbot: The day you take over the world.

Dmitri: Ooh, I like the sound of that!

Cleverbot: Thank you.

I thought I'd better quit while I was ahead. I have still had more insightful conversations with parrots.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

06.02.17 Front Page

Back Issue Page