Too Many Cooks

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Words, words, words. That's what we're made of. Herewith some of my thoughts on what we're doing with them.

Writing Right with Dmitri: Too Many Cooks

A man in green with a feather in one hand and drawing a theatre curtain with the other
GREAT and manifold were the blessings, most dread Sovereign, which Almighty God, the Father of all mercies, bestowed upon us the people of England, when first he sent Your Majesty's Royal Person to rule and reign over us.[...] But among all our joys, there was no one that more filled our hearts, than the blessed continuance of the preaching of God's sacred Word among us; which is that inestimable treasure, which excelleth all the riches of the earth...And now at last, by the mercy of God, and the continuance of our labours, it being brought unto such a conclusion...we hold it our duty to offer it to Your Majesty...   –   Epistle Dedicatorie to the Authorised Version of the Bible, 1611, translated by 54 scholars.

Okay, they had to suck up to the boss. And the boss was James I and VI, Defender of the Faith, etc. The sort of amazing thing about the King James Bible is that it was a bit like h2g2 – extremely influential on the language and thinking of English-speaking people everywhere…

…and written by committee.

How did they survive the process? It wasn't easy, I suspect, what with all the issues involved, and the Big Man kibitzing all the time. In addition, one was dealing with a wife who ran off, one got in trouble for shooting a gamekeeper, one was accused of wiretapping (well, okay, eavesdropping), and one was fired for embezzlement. With all those distractions, you wonder how they kept their minds on Greek and Hebrew. Somehow, they managed it.

What does that have to do with us? Even if we aren't collaborating, our writing is often interactive. We deal with feedback from writing partners, workshop participants, editors, and finally readers. How can we use that feedback wisely – to sharpen our techniques without losing sight of what we're trying to accomplish by writing?

Sneaky Feedback Use

'Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.   – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
'How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.'   – Benjamin Disraeli, politician and novelist.

Whether you share a work in progress or offer it as a finished product, you're bound to get feedback from professional and amateur alike. Some of this feedback is useful. Some of it isn't. Some of it will merely make you feel bad. You may end up sympathising with this quotation:

'Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what it feels about dogs.'   – Christopher Hampton.

Be that as it may, you want to use that criticism. How can you do that? I offer a few modest tips.

  1. Immediately discard the irrelevant and the frivolous.


    If someone says, 'I'd really like to see more of X in your writing,' this is probably not useful. If they'd really like to see more of X, let them find another writer, or write themselves. You are looking for critique on what you're trying to do, not what somebody else would like to order from the menu. If the critique isn't focused on whether you've reached the goals you've set for yourself, ignore it.

  2. Likewise, ignore ad hominem attacks.

    'But when I finished reading "Slapstick," I felt as if I had just devoured a bowl of air. Could this have been because I don't share Mr. Vonnegut's passion for Laurel and Hardy...? Or is it because one grows weary of the author's pervasive sense of resignation...?'   – Christopher Lehmann-Haupt, 'Slapstick', in the New York Times, 1976.

    Does this review have anything substantive to say about the novel? Or is it about the reviewer's irritation at having to read a book whose approach he personally fails to connect with?

  3. Listen to what the reader is understanding.


    Let the reader tell you what you said. If you've just written a fantastic opus about the challenges of man confronting nature and your sample readers believe you're writing a romance novel, then you've either got the wrong readers, or you're not telling the story quite right. Try again. Make sure you get your point across. 2001: A Space Odyssey may be a masterpiece. I'm not to judge. But when I first saw it, on a blind double date, I ended up in an after-movie discussion with the other guy that began with his asking, 'But what were the monkeys doing on the Moon?' I submit that Mr Kubrick might have done more audience research.

  4. It's okay if they hate it.


    Maybe the readers didn't like your work. But did they understand it? I have learned more from negative feedback than from positive. 'Hey, it's great, I really enjoyed that!' can be useful. At least you know you hit the mark. But, 'You So-and-So! How DARE you suggest that your character would do that?' shows you more: the character was vivid enough to arouse passion. Heh-heh, bring it on.

You Want Me to Say It How?

Some copies of the New Yorker.

Professional criticism requires more finesse. By this, I mean whoever is standing between you and publication – for instance, your editor. In interpreting editorial feedback, I recommend that you follow this procedure:

  1. Listen carefully and intently. At least, pretend to.
  2. Be patient. Let them vent.
  3. Figure out the shortest route to what they want, and give it to them.
  4. Do NOT under any circumstances try to justify yourself.

I guarantee that if you do this, not only will editors like you better, but you will have lower blood pressure. Here's an example of what I mean.

A friend of mine, an actor, once told me this story: he was in play rehearsal. The director was unhappy with his interpretation. The director went on and on, as directors will, about the character's motivation. What he, the director, was trying to show. What the situation was in this scene. How the emotional flow was developing. How crucial this line was – how it needed to convey intensity, yet restraint. The director went on for about fifteen minutes in this vein. My friend let him. Finally, the actor asked, 'So you want to me say the line slower?' The director, amazed, stared at him.

'Yes!' he beamed.

Usually, once you've grokked why the editor is unhappy, the problem can be solved by changing a sentence or two. Just be patient until the flow of editorial verbiage subsides, then promise to get back with a rewrite. Then make your changes. Trust me, this works.

I hope I've convinced you that critics, too, have their uses. As Ben Franklin said, 'They show us our faults.' Just not in the way they may expect.

Critics have their faults, too.

Writing Right with Dmitri Archive

Dmitri Gheorgheni

04.02.13 Front Page

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