A quirky look at wildlife. To be taken with a pinch of
salt, but with more than a grain of truth!

Every year at McWebbie's Wildlife Diner I plan to give the birds and animals, our clients, a slap up Christmas Dinner. After all, we are enjoying ourselves and taking all that we want from the natural world, so we want to give something back. However, there is one flaw in this plan. I don't tell our clients. I mean, I would look a bit silly putting a notice out in the garden 'McWebbie's Wildlife Diner offers a one day
only treat for all wild visitors - a slap up Christmas meal with all the trimmings' wouldn't I? The neighbours would be sending for the men in white coats as they think I am batty already! Make no mistake the birds and animals are intelligent and cunning, but they don't read!!

As a consequence, having told all my human visitors what a huge variety of birds we get in our garden, and putting out a varied, luxury diet of assorted foods which I know they love, what happens? The humans
arrive, looking forward to a 'feast for the eyes' in our garden, and there is nothing to be seen, making liars of us all! With a series of mild, damp Christmases the birds have buzzed off to dine elsewhere, on natural foods. The fact remains that many of the birds have come from other countries many thousands of miles away to feed here and produce the next generation, which in part helps fuel our own food needs.

So, I shall still provide the 'lunch' just in case! Planning the menus for our furry and feathered friends got me thinking about how much we take for granted. Wildlife is woven deeply in to our Christmas
celebrations, whether we realise it or not. The Robin has become a universal part of the season of goodwill, as has the Christmas Tree, Holly, Ivy and Mistletoe. The decorations we use at Christmas, and the food and drink we consume, had to come from somewhere, much of it from supermarket shelves.

But did it? We just don't connect it with the natural world any more. Yet preserving the natural world not just in our own country but around the globe is the only way to make sure Auntie Kath gets her favourite
Gin and Tonic, cousin Liz gets her chocs, our distinguished Professor his nuts and my other half his hangover cure and coffee pick me up, to mention but a few members of the 'family'! Sorry if I missed you!

As our thoughts turn to friends and family overseas even more at this time of year, it is worth considering how much we owe to the birds, animals and other wildlife around the world with which we share our home. The transport of seeds, pollination of flowers, and fertilization of sundry veggies, fruits and nuts is largely down to them.

'The holly and the ivy, When they are both full grown' provide berries and cover for the birds, and the Holly surruptitiously left in the armchair to discourage visitors from staying too long - *Ouch* -
gives a festive feel to our houses. The Ivy provides cover for wrens and other birds and berries for food, in addition to adorning our conservatories. The Mistletoe would not be around if it was not for the
Mistle Thrush and other birds 'sticking' the gooey seeds in the crevices of bark. That stolen kiss under the Mistletoe which has started many a romance would be a thing of the past.

Our eminent Professor, sat in the corner cracking his nuts will probably not consider that Brazil Nuts would not be available in abundance but for the Orchid Bees which pollinate the Brazil Nut Tree's large fluffy yellow flowers. The Honey on our muesli or fruit is down to other bees and the pollination of fruit and vegetables like French Beans are down to bees and butterflies too.

Peanuts, originally rainforest grown are tasty, plantation grown, are one of the many foods we enjoy at Christmas. Badgers, foxes, birds and other creatures love them too, but **please note** - in your enthusiasm for feeding the birds don't put out little Time Traveller's left over Salted Peanuts as the salt is bad for them too. Much of the Rich food
leftovers can be given to the birds and animals in moderation and will be happily consumed. Fruit, cake and biscuit leftovers, pastry, nuts, dried fruit, etc, are all welcome.

Quinine is used to flavour the Tonic Water in Auntie's Gin and comes from a South American tree, not that she would notice, though she may know that the flavouring of gin comes from Juniper berries. Orange juice for Bucks Fizz sees whole areas put under cultivation which would otherwise benefit wildife, as those familiar with the Florida Everglades will know. Wildlife pays a heavy price for our festivities.

The Grapes for the millions of bottles of wine we consume are often grown in areas where water is at a premium and more wildlife is deprived of much needed water. The corks in the wine bottles come from the Cork Oak forests found in France, Spain, Portugal and North Africa. This is a sustainable product, but the trees are greatly at risk of destruction if
plastic stoppers and screw tops gain popularity. So when you 'pop your cork' make sure it is the 'real thing' this time and don't screw the environment by mistake! The Iberian lynx, Spanish Imperial Eagle and
North African Barbary Deer will thank you.

The Chocolate which is such a feature of Christmas for most of us, together with the after dinner Coffee, comes from beans grown on plantations on forest land cleared for the purpose, depriving much wildlfe of its traditional habitat. Bird-friendly coffee grown under shady trees is a much better option and I can assure you there are no 'additives' of a birdie kind. The wonderful spices that flavour and scent the festive season are mostly derived from rainforest plants and should be treasured as much now as they were of old.

The Cranberry was named by 17^th century American colonists and was derived from the German 'kranbeere' or 'crane-berry' and most of those seen in the UK come from Wisconsin and other parts of North America, an area where Sandhill Cranes abound and endangered Whooping Cranes are recovering.

I refrain from mentioning the animals and birds consumed at this time in deference to our Veggie and Vegan friends and keep my thoughts on the wildlife connection.

Of course, all this indulgence would be be even tougher without the ever faithful Aspirin from Willow Bark for that hangover and we really must not forget that making Whoopee at the Office Christmas party
would be a whole lot more risky without the Yam which is the source of the Pill's active ingredient, diosgenin!! The ulcers produced by too much of the good life heal faster with the benefit of the blue petals and flat brown pods of the Liquorice flower, still grown in Yorkshire too, would you believe?! Oh, and one's blood pressure can be controlled by extracts of the Indian Snakeroot shrub!

Last but not least, I almost forgot the trees that give us the oxygen we breathe and the paper - used to wrap the presents - though it has other more essential uses too!

Now then, where was I? The Mince Pies are in the oven, so now I can get on with the bird cakes. Oh, yes, oats, peanuts, raisins, suet, blackberries, bacon fat, cheese, sunflower hearts, mixed seed, apples,
pears. The final missing ingredient being... Er! Well... whatever happened to that tub of insects - it was here a minute ago? Oh! Dear, oh, dear!! Well, never mind, they will all be so sloshed I don't
suppose they will notice and it's all protein so they say??!

So, while enjoying the Christmas and New Year revelry spare a thought for the wildlife all around the world and raise a glass (or two) to the Birds and the Bees and all the other creatures on which we depend. Your
New Year resolutions I leave to you, but if you could include something to benefit wildlife our fur and feather friends would be most appreciative.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a Peaceful and safe New Year.

Websailor's Wacky Wildlife World Archive

Websailor

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