The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy does not have an awful lot to say about Kansas City, Missouri. Considering how it's a city located in the center of a country located on the western hemisphere of a small blue-green planet revolving around a nondescript yellow star floating inside the western spiral arm of the galaxy in plural zed space, that is to be expected.

Were it to say anything about Kansas City, Missouri, perhaps the one thing of note that the Guide would find notable is that the city is named after a state on the other side of a river named after a completely different state, and neither of those two states is the state within which Kansas City itself actually resides.

To explain why would mean to discuss the history of this curious country, and why the land to the west of the Mississippi river used to be called the Louisiana Purchase, when in fact Louisiana ended up being a small state shaped like a foot to the south, named after a french king who never stepped foot on said property.

A little known fact is, Ford Prefect, in a fit of drunken despair one night riding on a bus from Kansas City Missouri to Louisiana in order to experience Mardi Gras before returning to England, several years ago when he was stranded on the planet Earth, did in fact write a detailed article about precisely that: why do Americans insist on purposefully creating an environment in which it is wholly impossible not to get lost?

It is no wonder that this entry, and countless other entries now lost seemingly forever in the Megadodo Editorial offices of The Guide, were eventually edited down to two words: Mostly Harmless.

The Kansas City Guide has even less to say about Kansas City, Missouri. In fact, unless an individual who is actually IN Kansas City, Missouri, owns a business or website located IN Kansas City, Missouri, and wants to join the Kansas City Guide, they won't be mentioned at all, irregardless of where in fact they might actually be.

However, the Kansas City Guide does have an awful lot to say about itself, including the witty slogan, The question should not be Do I Want To Advertise On The Internet, but What Do I Need To Do To Join The Kansas City Guide! No doubt the Kansas City Guide has a team of people who sit around in a room and think witty slogans like that up all the time.

Besides the countless businesses mentioned in the Kansas City Guide, there are in fact several entertaining locales also mentioned, which just happen to be businesses and this may very well be coincidental. There are casinos, museums, county fairs, jazz festivals, blues festivals, a renaissance festival, and even an American Royal Barbeque, although there are no royal americans due to a little spat americans had with the british some two hundred years ago.

The Kansas City Guide also points out that they are soon to celebrate their 150th year AS Kansas City. Too bad they'll be celebrating in Missouri.

It just so happens, in this particularly hoopy and happening city in this confused and strange country on this swirling waterlogged rock spinning around this bland and fading star somewhere in the western spiral arm of a galaxy located somewhere in plural zed space that a humanoid individual named Jacob Ryan Sydney was about to discover he was late for a dinner appointment he did not yet know he was destined to keep.

This was not a concern for him at the moment however, for Jacob Ryan Sydney was presently being kicked out of his home.