A Conversation for Good Put-downs

Naval Put-down

Post 1

Spike

Recounted by my stepfather: The US navy was visiting the UK (Portsmouth) and on show were their largest and finest vessels. On the largest ship (probably USS Missouri) was a banner - " the US navy... second to none". So the Royal Navy moored their oldest and rustiest MTB (Motor Torpedo Boat) close by and re-named it "none". The banner was removed.


Naval Put-down

Post 2

Hoovooloo

On an armed forces note, this is a very old one, but it was all in the delivery.

This particular drill sergeant had a strong Scouse accent. The drill instruction was over for the day, and we were hanging around waiting for the vehicle which was going to take us to do whatever it was we were doing next. So we're milling about a bit, and the sergeant is talking to the PT instructor. One of the lads tentatively goes over and asks nervously "Sergeant, is it all right if we smoke."

The moustache bristled, he looked the callow youth up and down, and said in the most withering Liverpudlian tone possible "Lesson's over. You can burst into f*****g flames as far as I'm concerned lad."

H.


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