Recently, AggGag scouts discovered this
in an "Ask the h2g2 Community" thread
called 'Story Ideas, Please'.

"personally i always like a good story challenge
particularly something like:


2000 words

must include the following objects:

towel. (duh)

blue corgette

half a lemon

small pigglet

harpsicord

must include the following lines:

I thought that was where I left my chewing gum

Take me to your leader

This hamster seems to be ill

We only have it in a seven

and must not include the words:

you

they

think

eat

vet

car

morning

daylight

said

yawn"

"Consumption of food is prohibited in public spaces," intoned the voice from the grey tannoy speaker. "Consumption of drink is prohibited in public spaces."


As she boarded the train for Exeter, Heather was glad to leave the harsh simulvoice behind. It was commonly known that trains were the last unmonitored places in the country, though of course you took your life in your hands just riding on one.


"I thought that was where I left my chewing gum." Heather looked up, to see her travelling companion dressed in his usual shabby overcoat. He scooped up his confection and sat down beside her.


Reverentially, feeling safe, she took a towel from her bag and unwrapped a blue corgette. "It's a disguise, just a bot of flour and food-colouring" she explained. The man nodded, guiltily extracted half a lemon from his pocket, and bit into it.

Through grimaces the man asked where she was going. The usual start to a rail conversation.

"Home..." she began.


The silence dragged on. Years of being wary were ingrained into every citizen. To speak openly was to invite arrest. But the corgette made her brave.

"I've been trying to buy a birthday present for my daughter. She's mad about Winnie the Pooh and wanted some little piglet slippers. I found the ideal pair but the shop assistant sneered 'we only have it in a seven' so I decided to get her a hamster, but at the pet shop the only one left looked a little off colour. 'This hamster seems to be ill' I told the shopkeeper but she didn't seem concerned."

As the train drew to a halt, the man inturrupted Heather's reverie by pulling out a silver badge dominated by the golden arches of the food police.

"I am second commander Edwards. Please acompany me to the station office where I will contact my officer in charge."

Edwards roughly pulled Heather from her seat and marched her off the carriage. He deposited her disguised corgette into an evidence bag.

A porter was unloading a harpsichord from the last carriage of the train, and Edwards beckoned him over. "I am a representative of the food police." The porter looked shocked and guilty.

"Take me to your leader," Edwards commanded.




Don't know about the word count. In fact, that's waaaaaaay short.