Alternative Answers to The Ultimate Question
Created | Updated Mar 3, 2006
The <star> Boberichians from Esjkfgeran (a small planet near a small star in the Andromeda Galaxy) (ie next door), believe that The Answer is actually Faulty Tooth, and so they ritually damage their teeth (all 902 of them) at regular intervals throughout their many lives. They seem to be very happy and contented, except for the toothache, which they don't feel anyway as their nervous systems don't actually reach their teeth, owing to a genetic programming programme they went in for as soon as they found The Answer several lives ago.
The <star> yer.kajwefbaveijuhans from 2397!245?/5364!!989ia, a very large planet in a very large Star System in one of the Hubble Deep Field Galaxies, swear that The Answer is Naughty Ruth, whom they worship with lots of mutually enjoyable naughty sexy group activities involving varying numbers of beings of various types and genders.This is a very popular religion, which seems to be spreading quickly right across the Far Galaxies. But others think it's a very Bad Thing which tends to corrupt and degrade the moral climate of Life, the Universe and Everything owing to its high Enjoyability Factor - which may be why the galaxies are speeding away from each other so desperately fast.
<fish> Mrs. Mona Fish, of 1 The Terrace, Bridlington, also believes there's been a terrible mistake. Her calculations show that The Answer is really Faulty Truth. Because of this, she is revered throughout the Furthest Possible Galaxies as <angel>The One, although even here unorthodox cults are cropping up which feel that The One, or One, or One The Terrace, is the Ultimate Answer. But<bunny>Grimthrope, the Great Prophet of Slarge, (no relation), claims he has divined that the secret answer must be C, because Bridlington is really Bridlington on C.
Meanwhile, the mind-bogglingly hyperintelligent<star> two-headed GrumdiddleXRS's from a far dimension quite near the Horsehead Nebula are <tea>convinced<tea>that The Answer is Tea for Two, (instead of the quite obviously nonsensical For Tea Two). They thus drink tea quite a lot, and definitely feel the benefit, especially when they have to get up early to go to work.