Buffalo-style Chicken Wings
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
This tasty culinary delight is sometimes mistakenly called "Buffalo Wings" in misfortunate parts of the world, which is ridiculous because everyone knows that buffaloes don't have wings. At least not on Earth.
When ordering from a sensible establishment, one would ask for an order of "wings." Sizes are generally "Single" (10-12), "Double" (20-24), or "Bucket" (50). Orders are also designated a heat range- Mild, Medium, Hot, Extra Hot, or Suicidal. One should take stock of one's self worth and order accordingly. An example of how to ask for wings would be: "I'd like a double order of Extra Hot wings and an extra blue cheese*, please. "
Note: The chicken wings should always be sectioned into a "wing" part and a "drumstick" part for authenticity and eatability.
*An authentic chicken wing order will be served with the following: a container of blue cheese dressing, short (2-3") pieces of celery, and carrot sticks. Both the chicken wings and vegetables may (and should) be dipped in the blue cheese dressing before being devoured.
To make wings one would need the following: a deep fryer, a sealed container, a plate, paper towels, sectioned chicken wings, a hot sauce (such as Durkee's(tm)), and a stick of butter.
1) Deep fry the chicken wings until they're done, but not too crispy.
2) Put the paper towel on a plate. Put the wings on paper towel and roll them around to remove some of the grease. (You may skip this step if you just don't give a damn any more.)
3) Put the chicken wings in the container
4) Pour the hot sauce over the wings to cover
5) Cut the butter into meltable pieces and add as needed (this reduces the heat of the sauce.)
6) Cover the container and shake vigorously.
7) Remove from the container and serve with thick blue cheese dressing, celery sticks and carrot sticks.
This recipe is the basis for all authentic Buffalo-style chicken wings. Spices and other ingredients are sometimes added to adjust the flavor and consistency of the sauce.