h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If we're going to let shrines into this discussion, I submit for consideration: The Mother of Sorrows Pioneer Shrine and Gift Shop, in Mabou, Nova Scotia, Canada. It's dedicated (like many other shrines throughout the world) to Mary of Nazareth. Its gift shop sells things like Holy Mother statues coated with humidity-sensitive slime. Each statue knows the weather!

Ha!

And on the subject of silly objects sold at shrines - a friend purchesed some St. Barbara Air Freshner that came in a gaudy aerosol can. St. Barbara herself was an interesting saint - her father was a Roman who was so afraid his daughter would be infected with the Christianity that was going around, that he locked her in a Tower (hence she is called St Barbara of the Tower)to prevent her from hearing about Christianity. Enterprising Barbara, like all teenagers who know best how to annoy a parent, intuited that there was a Jesus and that he died on the Cross for our sins. So eager was she to have a cross to pray before, that she put her finger to the tower stones and drew a cross and it gave way before her finger like wax. This was counterproductive however, because when Daddy saw it, he was so p***ed off, he threw her out the window to her death. And tomorrow, if you are good, I will tell you about St. Celestine, the drooling idiot who was elected Pope...

I'm on the edge of me seat, I tell ya!

These bloody saints kill me.