The terrors of attending a ballerina recital
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The opera house sits quietly and waits for the next ballerina to make her entrance. All of a sudden the crowd's attention is drawn to a hand that apears from behind the curtains. The sausage-like fingers gently caress the curtains. The entire opera house starts to smell like a deli.
As the 500 pound ballerina aesthetically tiptoes across the stage, she casts a shadow over the frightened faces of the audience. She begins with a curtsy, followed by the sound of a "ditchery-doo", and then she does a belly-flop. She sprawls herself out on the ground and makes a gut wrenching sound that is familiar to the cries of a beached whale. She gets to her feet and pounds on her chest while hollering at the top of her lungs. This sets the tone for her most dreaded maneuver...the splits. The horror on the faces of the audience is inexplicable.
The ballerina stands up and starts to sway side to side while moaning. Now she licks her finger then turns around and bends over to touch her behind while she makes a "hissing" noise. The crowd is revolted at the lewd display. Now she starts spanking her bottom..."Who's your Da-Da!" she bellows. Some of the audience is now covering their eyes, while others hoot at the buffoonery displayed.
The ballerina belches and spits on the ground. As the audience boos, she grabs herself, then walks off the stage sticking out her tongue. As the commotion comes to a settle, the ballerina's head appears from behind the curtains as she sticks out her tongue at everybody once more.
And that's the story of why Bulgaria is no longer allowed to compete in the olympics.
As the 500 pound ballerina aesthetically tiptoes across the stage, she casts a shadow over the frightened faces of the audience. She begins with a curtsy, followed by the sound of a "ditchery-doo", and then she does a belly-flop. She sprawls herself out on the ground and makes a gut wrenching sound that is familiar to the cries of a beached whale. She gets to her feet and pounds on her chest while hollering at the top of her lungs. This sets the tone for her most dreaded maneuver...the splits. The horror on the faces of the audience is inexplicable.
The ballerina stands up and starts to sway side to side while moaning. Now she licks her finger then turns around and bends over to touch her behind while she makes a "hissing" noise. The crowd is revolted at the lewd display. Now she starts spanking her bottom..."Who's your Da-Da!" she bellows. Some of the audience is now covering their eyes, while others hoot at the buffoonery displayed.
The ballerina belches and spits on the ground. As the audience boos, she grabs herself, then walks off the stage sticking out her tongue. As the commotion comes to a settle, the ballerina's head appears from behind the curtains as she sticks out her tongue at everybody once more.
And that's the story of why Bulgaria is no longer allowed to compete in the olympics.
