h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why so many men sit on the tube with their legs so wide apart that they could fit two cellos in there? Is it a terratorial thing? Or do they have such incredibly big bollocks that putting their legs together is totally impossible? Or is just to intimidate all the other people who have to squidge together in the neighbouring seats and embarrass the girl opposite who has to look at the ceiling for the entire journey to avoid looking at his pelvis.

If they're listening to a Walkman they could be heavy metal air cellists like this one http://www.h2g2.com/U47

;^)#

I can say with no sense of irony that these you speak of with the invisible cellos are actually gaseous beings in human form visiting our humble planet and choosing the underground to perfect their disguises. However due to a miscalculation they have all ended up with incredibly small genitalia. As a result they sit, legs akimbo, waiting in vain for their bodies to swell inside their skin suits before their lunchbox deficiencies expose there true identities

This is just so true and the readers of Metro newspaper (a free morning newspaper given out at Underground stations) have very strong opinions on this too.

For the best of them, visit this page

http://victorian.fortunecity.com/finsbury/254/tuberules.html#legs