h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The article states:

'Do not imagine that if you point out you have the wrong ticket and go to the excess fare box at your destination station that they will let you pay the difference. They won't'

This is actually untrue - if you go to the ticket office and declare your invalid ticket they will charge you 10, but you are entitled to a form which you send off to Tube HQ and they send you your money back.

So, if you see the inspectors at the barriers, just stroll over to them, give yourself up and they can't get a penny from you.

don't forget to spit at them and give them a kick for being surly also.

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I've found a pretty fool proof way of avoiding penalty fares. The secret? Buy a correct ticket. As for being subversive, I think somehow, there is a slight fault in my plan. I can't quite pin point it, but I know it's not quite as subversive as I'd like it to be. Mind you I must admit, that I'd feel a hell of a lot better about paying for my ticket, if the Tube service wasn't such a lottery. Some times I feel like I've more chance of winning the lottery than getting on a train that runs on time, and goes where it says it's going to. Oh yes, and I'd like not to have to take out a mortgage, just to travel. Expensive? I remember the days when you could go to the cinema, have a fish supper, and ride a tram home and still have change from a sixpence... Oh 'er, well I don't actually. I think it's just one of my former lives rearing up again.

Come on London Transport, get your act together, and if you're going to screw us for £10, at least give us a train service that's worth being screwed for. Currently, in order to get value for money, I feel like I should be being paid to travel on the Tube.

You want to avoid paying for what is a bad service? I'm not going to suggest you don't buy a ticket for the tube (it is against the law after all!) but more on what to do if you forget your travel pass..

Many stations still have no automated barriers so you can just walk on in (or out). This is changing but you will find many stations in the outer zones that are barrier free.

If you get off a train at a station and realise you have left your pass at home you need to find some one thin and follow them through the barriers. This takes a bit of daring to do but if done well is virtually fool proof. Ideally you need a newspaper or similar to assist you. After selecting your ticket holding member of the public follow them closely to the barrier and as they step through use your paper to cover the little dark red plastic circle that is about half way up the body of the barrier. This is the infrared detector that senses when someone has passed through. Keep it covered and the machine will think that some one very large is trying to get through and will leave the barrier open longer. As you step through keep you paper over the detector for as long as possible. If the barriers begin to shut push through, they will open! You now need to side step around the original passenger and head off ahead of them at slightly above commuter speed. A loud beep may indicate your passing if it has not been 100% successful but you will not look like the last person to have gone through as you have gone round the person with the ticket!

I know one very forgetful person who had to use this method for a month, without penalty.

You must also be aware that random ticket checks DO take place and there is no way past them so give yourself up and take the penalty!

And occasionally you get plain clothes inspectors on tubes so don't get too forgetful!

Another good one is the CarNet system. CarNets work for zone one only, and are 1.10 each. If you get on the DLR, and get off at Bank, you can validate your CarNet ticket there and carry on to your zone 1 destination, without paying the extra 80p for the 1.90 zone 2-1 DLR ticket.

Of course this is theft from the tube (or DLR) and therefore illegal, so don't do it. And also, it won't help you if there is an inspector on the DLR train, but usually at rush hour its so busy they can't walk down the train....

Another CarNet scam that you mustn't do on moral and legal grounds is use the ticket from zone 1 to say, Wapping (Zone 2) where you walk out through open barriers. The next day, you can make your return journey from Wapping (no barriers) to Zone 1, with the same ticket. At the barrier in zone 1 your ticket will not work, cos it was scanned the previous day. Simple: Go to the ticket man and say 'The barriers were open/broken at , and my ticket wasn't scanned, so please let me through.'

Its usually a good idea to use KX or Victoria as otherwise they might twig (rather than a fairly un-busy station in zone 1 (can't think of any...)). Also make sure you just came from the correct direction, and that its liable to be busy (won't work at midday..)