h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you smoke too much? When given the opportunity do you smoke to fantastic excess? Then like me, you need a drink cuts through all the gloop in your gob.

Have a Thames Water. (I think that's what it's called).
Fill a pint glass halfway with grapefruit juice and top it off with coke. It's much better than it sounds. Unless it's tepid.

From one slaphead to another, might I suggest that the inclusion of a little Herb in ya smoking stick might lead to a parallel reduction in incidence of those embarassing "puke down ya suit and best friends sofa" scenarios.
Just think about it. Not only will you find yourself able to spew out cod philosophical bullshit with the best of us, you'll also be adding to the bitter, twisted, bigoted,rabid, dried up shell of a pathetic existance that is Anne Widdecombes excuse for a life.

May the glare of ya dome shine like the Light of Inspiration in the lives of the folically unchallenged

Ah Nelly,

Why thanks for your advice. I'm afraid I have to abstain from the herb as much as possible (Sunday afternoons mainly). Not for any moral or political reason, just because of the way it makes me start bands. The rest of you may spout cod pschy. stuff - I'm afraid I form bands with strange and terrible results.

Good diatribe on Widdecombe though friend - you're not a Tory I assume?

Be bald, be strong, but above all be annoyed

Shiny my Billiard Ball Headed Chum
Two things garunteed to get me reaching for the AK47.

1. The slightest suggestion than I am, ever was, or ever shall be a member/supporter/follower of the Conservative Party.

2. Mention of "Doris the Dopes'" name without a four minute warning

May ya baldness live long and prosper