Small Penis Syndrom (SPS)
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Also known as S.P.S. This phenomenon is most commonly seen today in public restrooms throughtout Earth. Small Penis Syndrom was first recorded in the late 1,400's by a laborer aboard an exploration sea vessel. This laborer, John Paul, noticed that when Christopher Columbus and his group landed in the new world they all ran for seperate trees over a small distance from eachother. Curious to know why, he followed them, noticing at least a 10ft gap in between each of the explorers. He had stumbled across the second known episode, and thus first recorded situation of Small Penis Syndrome. Amerigo Vespucci, for which America obtained her name, who had visited earlier made mention of SPS on his way home. His idea's were labelled taboo, and nothing was heard of SBS again until Columbus returned home.
Small Penis Syndrome is the act of choosing a toilet the furthest away from the one someone else may be using, for fear of inadequate penis size. Common Scenario: There are 6 urinals lined up in a wall. There is one person using Stall #1, when someone walks in. Experiencing sudded Small Penis Syndrome, this person proceeds to the #6 stall and relieves himself. This person has chosen the furthest possible urinal away from the person already in the bathroom. The person in stall #1 felt minor anxiety upon the entrance of the new person, but felt better when SPS kicked in and the person walked to the last stall. There are slight variations of SPS, they are:
(Decoded from Viking Runes)
ESPS or Extreme Small Penis Syndrome. This is common unmoungst the short, pudgy and bald species of humans. The ESPS sufferer enters a bathroom per say, where again we have 6 stalls in a wall. There are also 4 toilet stalls to the back of the restroom. The ESPS suffer proceeds to the toilet stall, we he relieves himself; totally bypassing the urinals all together. The ESPS sufferer also will urinate against the inner wall of the toilet, thus keeping his urination quieter for fear the urination sound(s) that emit from the water in the toilet will be too high pitched. Thus, would give away his true Penis Size.
(First recorded: John Paul, 1499AD)
SPS-Lite. Again, John Paul had become witness to a recently relabeled version of SPS. SPS-Lite is commonly amoungst the night club crowd, and is usually seen in the age groups of 18-25 years of age. SPS-Lite can be defined: We have our six stalls in the wall again, with 4 toilet stalls as well, and one person utilizing it's purpose. A person enters the restroom suffering from SPS, and proceeds to Stall #6. An additional person enters the restroom, and proceeds to Stall #3 in the middle. He suffers from SPS-Lite, and not full blown SPS. How can we tell? He did not even think about the 4 toilet stalls to the back.
(First Recorded: unknown Irish settlement)
SPS-Confusion. This was found in an ancient Irish Pub that had been built upon for generations. After a year of digging, an ancient toilet stall describing this event was cleaned and preserved. This is how it was translated: SPS Confusion, experienced by a majority of the Irish population. We have been noticing after careful observation, this phenomenon we call SPS-Confusion. Scenario: We have 6 urinal stalls in the wall, and we have 4 toilet stalls. Urinals #1, 3 and 6 are occupied, and toilet stalls 2 and 4 are occupied. Enter now a person suffering from SPS or E-SPS. He notices the occupied urinal stalls, and automatically thinks to the toilet stalls but notices 2 and 4 are occupied. After a series of awkward and multi-directional steps, he turns to the sink in an extreme fit of anxiety. He pretends to check his hair, then his nose and then proceeds out of the restroom opting for relief at another time when the restroom is less full. When this person returns to his group they mention to him how fast that was, to which he complains on the conditions of the bathroom as being horrid to cover up.
A newer and yet to be named form of SPS has also been heard of in the New York City area of the United States of America on Earth as well. This variation of the SPS phenomenon's details are just coming in, and research grants have been issued to investigate. The main backers of one grant, the Tabacco Industry, seems certain they will figure this one out, and has dubbed the grant's operation "cover up". It has been heard that SPS has been mutating into newer forms in these NYC clubs. Almost all cases of SPS recorded occured in men, and in men's restrooms. Some NYC clubs have co-ed bathrooms, thus intensifying the SPS Phenomenon. Reported cases of forced urinal pressure, to make the female in the next stall think the male is bigger than he really is by altering the water sounds is rampant. A new excerpt will be added to the SPS Entry once it has been investigated.
This is an incomplete entry, because of the fact that new research data is coming in all the time. I personally feel it is my responsibility to keep this entry up to date.
Small Penis Syndrome is the act of choosing a toilet the furthest away from the one someone else may be using, for fear of inadequate penis size. Common Scenario: There are 6 urinals lined up in a wall. There is one person using Stall #1, when someone walks in. Experiencing sudded Small Penis Syndrome, this person proceeds to the #6 stall and relieves himself. This person has chosen the furthest possible urinal away from the person already in the bathroom. The person in stall #1 felt minor anxiety upon the entrance of the new person, but felt better when SPS kicked in and the person walked to the last stall. There are slight variations of SPS, they are:
(Decoded from Viking Runes)
ESPS or Extreme Small Penis Syndrome. This is common unmoungst the short, pudgy and bald species of humans. The ESPS sufferer enters a bathroom per say, where again we have 6 stalls in a wall. There are also 4 toilet stalls to the back of the restroom. The ESPS suffer proceeds to the toilet stall, we he relieves himself; totally bypassing the urinals all together. The ESPS sufferer also will urinate against the inner wall of the toilet, thus keeping his urination quieter for fear the urination sound(s) that emit from the water in the toilet will be too high pitched. Thus, would give away his true Penis Size.
(First recorded: John Paul, 1499AD)
SPS-Lite. Again, John Paul had become witness to a recently relabeled version of SPS. SPS-Lite is commonly amoungst the night club crowd, and is usually seen in the age groups of 18-25 years of age. SPS-Lite can be defined: We have our six stalls in the wall again, with 4 toilet stalls as well, and one person utilizing it's purpose. A person enters the restroom suffering from SPS, and proceeds to Stall #6. An additional person enters the restroom, and proceeds to Stall #3 in the middle. He suffers from SPS-Lite, and not full blown SPS. How can we tell? He did not even think about the 4 toilet stalls to the back.
(First Recorded: unknown Irish settlement)
SPS-Confusion. This was found in an ancient Irish Pub that had been built upon for generations. After a year of digging, an ancient toilet stall describing this event was cleaned and preserved. This is how it was translated: SPS Confusion, experienced by a majority of the Irish population. We have been noticing after careful observation, this phenomenon we call SPS-Confusion. Scenario: We have 6 urinal stalls in the wall, and we have 4 toilet stalls. Urinals #1, 3 and 6 are occupied, and toilet stalls 2 and 4 are occupied. Enter now a person suffering from SPS or E-SPS. He notices the occupied urinal stalls, and automatically thinks to the toilet stalls but notices 2 and 4 are occupied. After a series of awkward and multi-directional steps, he turns to the sink in an extreme fit of anxiety. He pretends to check his hair, then his nose and then proceeds out of the restroom opting for relief at another time when the restroom is less full. When this person returns to his group they mention to him how fast that was, to which he complains on the conditions of the bathroom as being horrid to cover up.
A newer and yet to be named form of SPS has also been heard of in the New York City area of the United States of America on Earth as well. This variation of the SPS phenomenon's details are just coming in, and research grants have been issued to investigate. The main backers of one grant, the Tabacco Industry, seems certain they will figure this one out, and has dubbed the grant's operation "cover up". It has been heard that SPS has been mutating into newer forms in these NYC clubs. Almost all cases of SPS recorded occured in men, and in men's restrooms. Some NYC clubs have co-ed bathrooms, thus intensifying the SPS Phenomenon. Reported cases of forced urinal pressure, to make the female in the next stall think the male is bigger than he really is by altering the water sounds is rampant. A new excerpt will be added to the SPS Entry once it has been investigated.
This is an incomplete entry, because of the fact that new research data is coming in all the time. I personally feel it is my responsibility to keep this entry up to date.
