Jester's Condescending English Dictionary - V
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
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| vacation | n | A two-week binge of rest and relaxation so intense that it takes another 50 weeks of your restrained workaday life-style to recuperate. |
| vagina | n | The box a penis comes in. |
| Vail's Second Axiom | n | The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed. |
| Van Roy's Laws | pl, n | (1)An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. (2)Honesty is the best policy - there's less competition. |
| Van Roy's Truism | n | Life is a whole series of circumstances beyond your control. |
| Vanilla | adj | Ordinary flavor, standard. See FLAVOR. When used of food, very often does not mean that the food is flavored with vanilla extract! For example, "vanilla-flavored won ton soup" (or simply "vanilla won ton soup") means ordinary won ton soup, as opposed to hot and sour won ton soup. |
| Varicose veins | pl, n | Veins that are close together. |
| VD | n | The gift that keeps on giving. |
| Velilind's Laws of Experimentation | n | (1) If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once. (2) If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points. |
| Vestiphobia | n | Fear of clothing.See also Ballistophobia, Otophobia, Peccatophobia, Sitophobia, Taphephobia and Trichophobia |
| Viagra Falls | n | Honeymoon spot for chemically enhanced romantics. -- Good News Week *2 |
| Vice versa | n | Dirty poetry from Italy. |
| Viking | n | 1. Daring Scandinavian seafarers, explorers, adventurers, entrepreneurs world-famous for their aggressive, nautical import business, highly leveraged takeovers and blue eyes. 2. Bloodthirsty sea pirates who ravaged northern Europe beginning in the 9th century. Hagar's note: The first definition is much preferred; the second is used only by malcontents, the envious, and disgruntled owners of waterfront property. |
| Virgin | n | (1) A girl who whispers sweet nothing doings. (2) A girl who wont take in what a guy takes out. (3) Any Hicksville girl who can outrun her brothers. (4) An ugly third grader. |
| Virginia | n | A group of beautifully mounted hunters galloping behind baying hounds in pursuit of a union organizer. |
| virtual | adj | Being or pertaining to a tangible, nonexistent object. "I can see it, but it's not there." See also transparent -- Lady Macbeth. |
| VMS | n | The world's foremost multi-user adventure game. |
| volcano | n | A mountain with hiccups. |
| Volley Theory | n | It is better to have lobbed and lost than never to have lobbed at all. |
| vuja de | n | The feeling that you've *never*, *ever* been in this situation before. |
