Jester's Condescending English Dictionary - J
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Back to Introduction/Contents
| Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government | n | No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. |
| Jealosy | n | The friendship one woman shares with another. |
| Jenkinson's Law | n | It won't work. |
| Jester | n | A hoopy frood |
| Jewish Dilema | n | Free pork. |
| Jim Nasium's Law | n | In a large locker room with hundreds of lockers, the few people using the facility at any one time will all have lockers next to each other so that everybody is cramped. |
| job interview | n | The excruciating process during which personnel officers separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff. |
| job placement | n | Telling your boss what he can do with your job. |
| jogger | n | An odd sort of person with a thing for pain. |
| Johnny Carson's Definition | n | The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn. |
| Johnny Carson's Observation on Geriatrics | n | Sex in the sixties is great, but it improves if you pull over to the side of the road. |
| Johnson's First Law | n | When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time. |
| Johnson's law | n | Systems resemble the organizations that create them. |
| Jones' Motto | n | Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. |
| Jones' First Law | n | Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an obstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the importance of their original contribution. |
| Jones' Second Law | n | The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. |
| Juall's Law on Nice Guys | n | Nice guys don't always finish last; sometimes they don't finish. Sometimes they don't even get a chance to start! |
| Justice | n | A decision in your favor. |
